[TrailRunner14]

Something happened Monday, and I’ve been trying to figure out if how I feel about it is rational or not. I thought I would ask for your opinion.

*** This could be TRIGGERING ***

I went for a run on my trail Monday. It was a beautiful day! There were these leaves along the wood line that I’ve never noticed before. They were a metallic color green, and when the sunlight hit them, it turned them a bluish color. I thought they were beautiful, so I stopped to take a picture of them. As I was trying to get the picture, I noticed a biker coming down the trail. I stepped back to let him come by and held up my hand in a wave, and as he passed me he said “You are so pretty.” I just stood there, not knowing what to think or how to feel about it.

What did he just say?

Why would he say that to me?

I’ve done something wrong!

I don’t remember seeing him before.

I shouldn’t have waved at him.

I basically had a mini “freak out” and I was afraid, and felt threatened.

The trail is mostly open, wooded on one side and a road on the other. A portion of it cuts through some trees and wooded area. I love the wooded part that goes through the trees. I feel safe and calm there. After this happened; now the thought of it makes me afraid. I haven’t been back since Monday.

There is a part of me that misses it terribly, another part of me is very afraid to go. I usually see the same people when I go, and it bothers me that I hadn’t seen this person before. He went by too fast for me to be able to analyze his “intent” - if that makes sense.

I know this IS irrational, a part of me knows that, but there is another part of me that can’t get past it. It makes me mad!!

Would anyone else see this in the same way?

Does this make sense to anybody?

[Skeezyks]

Hello TrailRunner14: My wife & I have a small dog. We live in a townhome complex & have no fenced yard. So we're out taking him for long walks around the neighborhood at least twice a day... every day.

All sorts of things happen on these walks. Some people we pass say hello. Some say nothing. Occasionally someone makes some snide comment of one sort or another. Drivers try to run us down when we're trying to cross streets.

Personally, I'm pretty reclusive. I wear hats with brims I can use to shield my eyes from the glances of others. If the sun's out, I wear sunglasses. (Sometimes I wear them even if it's not.)

I don't know as I would say your response to this incident is irrational. Maybe you're a bit over-sensitive. But maybe not either. It all sounds innocent enough. But, on the other hand, I do know these sorts of things can just feel a bit unnerving. I think the important thing though is to get back out there. If you do, after a while the memory of this particular experience will fade. The longer you wait, the more difficult it is likely to be.

Originally Posted by TrailRunner14

Something happened Monday, and I’ve been trying to figure out if how I feel about it is rational or not. I thought I would ask for your opinion.

*** This could be TRIGGERING ***

I went for a run on my trail Monday. It was a beautiful day! There were these leaves along the wood line that I’ve never noticed before. They were a metallic color green, and when the sunlight hit them, it turned them a bluish color. I thought they were beautiful, so I stopped to take a picture of them. As I was trying to get the picture, I noticed a biker coming down the trail. I stepped back to let him come by and held up my hand in a wave, and as he passed me he said “You are so pretty.” I just stood there, not knowing what to think or how to feel about it.

What did he just say?

Why would he say that to me?

I’ve done something wrong!

I don’t remember seeing him before.

I shouldn’t have waved at him.

I basically had a mini “freak out” and I was afraid, and felt threatened.

The trail is mostly open, wooded on one side and a road on the other. A portion of it cuts through some trees and wooded area. I love the wooded part that goes through the trees. I feel safe and calm there. After this happened; now the thought of it makes me afraid. I haven’t been back since Monday.

There is a part of me that misses it terribly, another part of me is very afraid to go. I usually see the same people when I go, and it bothers me that I hadn’t seen this person before. He went by too fast for me to be able to analyze his “intent” - if that makes sense.

I know this IS irrational, a part of me knows that, but there is another part of me that can’t get past it. It makes me mad!!

Would anyone else see this in the same way?

Does this make sense to anybody?

We can't take a compliment, either. After a lifetime of degradation, put downs and beatings.....a compliment freaks us out. It's actually embarrassing to be singled out that everyone inside freaks.

I don't know how to respond to or behave to a compliment that I dissociate and feel sick. Quite sad actually.

Today, I just say yeah thanks and change the subject, matter of fact like.

[ruh roh]

It makes sense. Alarm bells would be ringing big time, the once safe space having been polluted or invaded somehow. Therapists always suggest going out in nature and going out for walks, which I do, but it opens me up to a lot of bad interactions. A warning sign that things are getting bad internally is when someone makes calls to the police about suspicious people. When that happens, I let my therapist know the calls to PD are starting, and we try to sort through what the trigger was, or if the threat was legit. What you experienced would have set things off internally for me.

[lucidity11]

Originally Posted by TrailRunner14

Something happened Monday, and I’ve been trying to figure out if how I feel about it is rational or not. I thought I would ask for your opinion.

*** This could be TRIGGERING ***

I went for a run on my trail Monday. It was a beautiful day! There were these leaves along the wood line that I’ve never noticed before. They were a metallic color green, and when the sunlight hit them, it turned them a bluish color. I thought they were beautiful, so I stopped to take a picture of them. As I was trying to get the picture, I noticed a biker coming down the trail. I stepped back to let him come by and held up my hand in a wave, and as he passed me he said “You are so pretty.” I just stood there, not knowing what to think or how to feel about it.

What did he just say?

Why would he say that to me?

I’ve done something wrong!

I don’t remember seeing him before.

I shouldn’t have waved at him.

I basically had a mini “freak out” and I was afraid, and felt threatened.

The trail is mostly open, wooded on one side and a road on the other. A portion of it cuts through some trees and wooded area. I love the wooded part that goes through the trees. I feel safe and calm there. After this happened; now the thought of it makes me afraid. I haven’t been back since Monday.

There is a part of me that misses it terribly, another part of me is very afraid to go. I usually see the same people when I go, and it bothers me that I hadn’t seen this person before. He went by too fast for me to be able to analyze his “intent” - if that makes sense.

I know this IS irrational, a part of me knows that, but there is another part of me that can’t get past it. It makes me mad!!

Would anyone else see this in the same way?

Does this make sense to anybody?

I would have felt very similar. I see the world as unsafe. I used to work for a park and needed to be in the woods alone to do my job.
I used to bring something to protect myself. I never talked long to anyone on the trail that looked out of place. And if a stranger out of no where told me I was pretty I would switch into protection mode and been very wary. It used to make me mad that I had fear. I hate being fearful. But past trauma is hard to shake.

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Hello TrailRunner14: My wife & I have a small dog. We live in a townhome complex & have no fenced yard. So we're out taking him for long walks around the neighborhood at least twice a day... every day.


All sorts of things happen on these walks. Some people we pass say hello. Some say nothing. Occasionally someone makes some snide comment of one sort or another. Drivers try to run us down when we're trying to cross streets.


Personally, I'm pretty reclusive. I wear hats with brims I can use to shield my eyes from the glances of others. If the sun's out, I wear sunglasses. (Sometimes I wear them even if it's not.)


I don't know as I would say your response to this incident is irrational. Maybe you're a bit over-sensitive. But maybe not either. It all sounds innocent enough. But, on the other hand, I do know these sorts of things can just feel a bit unnerving. I think the important thing though is to get back out there. If you do, after a while the memory of this particular experience will fade. The longer you wait, the more difficult it is likely to be.

Thank you! I also wear my sunglasses all the time. It puts a barrier up between the "there" and where I want to be.

I have questioned weather I'm over sensitive. There is also the question of "Am I over sensitive because of the trauma, or did the trauma cause the over sensitiveness?" Curious question.

I do want to be brave and go right back out there, because I don't want to live in fear. That's one part of me. Another part of me is saying no no no no no.

That was the battle today. I wanted to go and I was afraid to go. It wound up shutting me down.

Tomorrow is another day!

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

We can't take a compliment, either. After a lifetime of degradation, put downs and beatings.....a compliment freaks us out. It's actually embarrassing to be singled out that everyone inside freaks.


I don't know how to respond to or behave to a compliment that I dissociate and feel sick. Quite sad actually.


Today, I just say yeah thanks and change the subject, matter of fact like.

Thank you!! I also don't know how to respond to compliments. They make me think I've done something wrong. Makes no sense I know.

I also understand the dissociate and feel sick feeling, posting this actually put me there earlier.

This sucks!! But like we agreed earlier we are going forward!!

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by lucidity11

I would have felt very similar. I see the world as unsafe. I used to work for a park and needed to be in the woods alone to do my job.
I used to bring something to protect myself. I never talked long to anyone on the trail that looked out of place. And if a stranger out of no where told me I was pretty I would switch into protection mode and been very wary. It used to make me mad that I had fear. I hate being fearful. But past trauma is hard to shake.

Thank you for validating my feelings. I love the woods!! There is such peace there and no stress. When I'm running I don't have to be anything. That's what the trail has been to me since I started counseling.

To think that I have to be concerned to be "watchful" and "on guard" takes all of that away from me and makes it scary. It's not a safe place to go away anymore.

There was a time in the spring, when water was high on the side of the trail, and I had a fear of snakes. I took out one evening with that on my mind and it was a horrible place to endure. No peace or safety. Not sure what I'm trying to say.

Thank you!

[Blogjects]

I can relate to this. I am sensitive when people make comments about my outer appearance & I don't find these comments flattering at all. I find these comments intrusive & invasive. I usually panic a little whenever people make them.

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by Blogjects

I can relate to this. I am sensitive when people make comments about my outer appearance & I don't find these comments flattering at all. I find these comments intrusive & invasive. I usually panic a little whenever people make them.

Thank you! So do I. It's very disturbing and I usually have a "zip line" reaction to it.

[elevatedsoul]

i would be totally freaked out..

im a guy but even yet i would still be freaked by a stranger passer by and just saying those words, but i like to look at beauty in deeper ways so just the words itself is like insults because this person is eyeing me up before i even see him and decides what or who i am without knowing if i have half a brain or not..

im a loner..(when i getalone) deepthought

do think you should try to stake things out and if its safe try to continue your running since its a favorite kind of part of your goings out..

[TrailRunner14]

I WENT BACK!!! High 5 you guys!!

I was missing it so bad and still pretty scared. I just had to.





I feel brave! Thank y'all for sharing this with me.

"She believed she could - so she did!"
- Unknown

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by elevatedsoul

i would be totally freaked out..

im a guy but even yet i would still be freaked by a stranger passer by and just saying those words, but i like to look at beauty in deeper ways so just the words itself is like insults because this person is eyeing me up before i even see him and decides what or who i am without knowing if i have half a brain or not..

im a loner..(when i getalone) deepthought

do think you should try to stake things out and if its safe try to continue your running since its a favorite kind of part of your goings out..

Thank you!! I just saw this.

I totally agree with you on your feelings about beauty being deeper than what you see. The way that you stated it is how I feel about the comment that was made and what made it feel threatening.

[elevatedsoul]

awesome pictures

gotta keep on keepin on right

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by elevatedsoul

awesome pictures

gotta keep on keepin on right

Thank you! Yes! We do have to keep pushing forward.

I'm thankful that I "know" you here and for your encouragement.

I hope your day tomorrow is good. I hope that you feel the sunlight on your face and smile.