[Wild Coyote]

I often read here and deeply appreciate the sharing-- the experiences, the info and the support-- so freely given by members here.

I am just now realizing the degree to which I have been living with dissociative disorders. I am just finding out I was diagnosed over 30 years ago and underwent some treatment then. I had moved to a different location and I had somehow "lost" that history/experience/knowledge.

I am also just finding out some of how dissociative disorders have affected my life over the past 30 years, even so in the past 1-5 years. I am baffled by this. It's been very surprising, at times disheartening, in that the realizations have caused me to have some deep doubts about myself and about trusting my sense of "Presence."

I've also been feeling grief, as I feel I have lost a lot of time.

I may be able to share more at some point. While I have been working intensely with my pdoc/therapist, I have been very quiet and introspective, as I have been so very surprised as I've learned more about the depth of dissociation in my own life.

At times, placing more focus on dissociation has caused me more stress and more confusion, including more dissociation. I have to pace myself.

In the meantime, I'd like to let you know I do read here and am deeply appreciative to each participant here.

With Love and Gratitude,
Wild Coyote

((((hugs))))

this forum will always be here for you when you need it

glad it's helping you

[Luce]

Thanks for sharing about yourself here, WC. I was skyping with a dissociative friend last night and we had a similar discussion about the affect of dissociative disorders over time. Both of us had extensive therapy for DID in the 90s, and then left therapy for 15 or so years. Both of us have returned to therapy now, as we face different life issues that have caused our dissociative issues to cause problems again.
One thing we both noted was that our respective front ones have the ability to 'get on with life'... without necessarily being aware of the experiences and triggers of the inner alters. Dissociation allows us to live in denial... and that sometimes puts us in a vulnerable position.
I can really relate to your post... we too 'lost' information about our experiences and selves. We are now reconnecting with the inner reality. It is confronting, it is painful, but I realize it needs to be dealt with. I hope you feel able to share more over time... or if not, maybe join in a little.

[elevatedsoul]

love love <3