Dissociation Simplified

I'm in search of information or a source that describes Dissociation in a simple to understand way - if such a thing exists.

My husband is trying to understand, I think, what dissociation is and what I'm experiencing. That is truly an answer to prayer!! He is very simplistic. I don't say that meaning he's remedial, he's more of a black and white, numbers and facts kind of person. I've shared a couple of things with him that I have experienced, and I haven't gotten very good responses from him. It's a deer in the headlights kind of look and change the subject completely, or explosive anger. In my heart I feel that his reactions are because he doesn't understand what I am trying to share with him, and he doesn't know how to react.

I've read so many books, and I understand to a certain degree what's happening. I get it. The information that I've read is too psychological in one aspect, which totally goes over his head or too scientific, which takes too much explanation from me to try to explain and him understand. He is NOT a person who enjoys reading books, so I can't really go that route.

My counselor sent me a UTube link that describes aspects of it, but after listening to it, it would also go over his head. I so want him to understand, but I can't find a resource to share with him that would explain it in his language.

I wish there was a book titled "Dissociation for Dummies" Nothing implied toward my husband, it just sounds like a book like that would be very simple and easy to understand. Is there one and I've not Googled enough websites? Maybe a UTube link that was more simplified?

This is so frustrating! He's finally wanting to understand and I can't find a way to explain it.

Does anyone know of any information you could share with me?

here in the USA there is no one simplified definition of dissociation. short version each USA state has their own definitions for all kinds of words. heres an example of a non dissociative term if you look up the word pop you will find that some locations go by the definition that a pop is a noise, and others define the word pop as a beverage, and still others the word pop means to hit something.

here in my location the simplified definition of dissociation is that its the normal response to a trigger. it becomes a disorder when it fits the diagnostic criteria that you see in my links at the bottom of the post.

example...

a person watching a scary movie....(scary movie is the trigger)

the scary movie causes the person to feel numb, feel foggy headed, feel spaced out, feel disconnected (reaction to the trigger)

this normal dissociation in my location becomes the mental disorder DID when the person fits the diagnostic criteria of (for those who can not or do not click on links)

Dissociative Identity Disorder 300.14 (F44.81)

A. Disruption of identity characterized by two or more distinct personality states which may be described in some cultures as an experience of possession. The disruption in identity involves marked discontinuity in sense of self and sense of agency, accompanied by related alterations in affect, behavior, consciousness, memory, perception, cognition, and or sensory-motor functioning. These signs and symptoms may be observed by others or reported by the individual.

B. Recurrent gaps in the recall of every day events, important personal information, and or traumatic events that are inconstant with ordinary forgetting.

C the symptoms cause clinical significant distress or impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning.

D. The disturbance is not a normal part of a broadly accepted cultural or religious practice.

Note in children the symptoms are not better explained by imaginary playmates or other fantasy play.

E. The Symptoms are not attributable to the physiological effects of a substance (e.g. Blackouts or chaotic behavior during alcohol intoxication) or another medical condition (e.g. complex partial seizures)

along with this diagnostic criteria are 5 pages that go into more detail in categories of diagnostic features that explains the above diagnostics in more detail, Associated features supporting diagnosis, the statistical prevalence of the disorder, the development and course of the disorder, Risk and Prognosis Factors, Culture Related Diagnostic Issues, Suicide Risks and the Functional consequences of this disorder. The DSM 5 also addresses Differential Diagnosis (other dissociative disorders that share the same symptoms) and Comorbidity (having more than one diagnosis)

Ever seen the movie Dave with Eddie Murphy? Or Star Trek. Or Titanic. Our body is a ship with a captains chair....and who ever is in that chair is presenting and in control with the crew offering advise. When another switches into the chair....

That's the way we see us though.


We are a computer with a running computer program that can freeze at trauma. A back up program emerges to keep the brain running when this freezing happens. Sometimes the original program unfreezes and run congruent with or overrides the back-up program. Every back up program has their own back up program to prevent crashing from feezing. There is no limit to back up programs depending on the computer glitches. This enables us to keep functioning.

That is an amazingly true description, and I totally agree. It seems to be a description of how my system functions too. It's just hard to try and explain something like that to someone on an elementary level.

I tell people that dissociation is a normal thing. It happens when you think of something you need while you are in the kitchen and by the time you get to your bedroom, you can't remember what you went there for. I just do it for longer periods-hours or days. If that happens, I "come to" myself and can't remember what I have done, I am sometimes disoriented, and I can't remember what I have done.

Of course that leaves out the part about the alters, but it seems to be an explanation that most people "get". I have a service dog who alerts me when I dissociate, so I get asked a LOT why I have the dog.

My t describes it as ego states that are taken to an extreme. Everybody has ego states, that's why we act different at work vs being at a football game. Or with our kids vs with our old friends. With DID, the ego states are stronger and less connected than with most people. And they are often in response to a trigger rather than being chosen.

I don;t have an easy answer. My therapist gave me a book to read that's by a therapist, written for people with d id and it's geared toward the younger ones, so it's very simply put, but not something I would suggest for your husband. Just wanted to say that I'm glad your h is trying to understand. I would not get into diagnostic or clinical descriptions with him, since it's really not going to help a layperson understand and is more for a clinician to use in diagnosis.

https://www.amazon.com/Dissociative-...disorder+books

https://www.amazon.com/Stranger-Mirr...s=dissociation

Maybe try doing a comparison example list. Normal dissociation and then the dissociative disorder equivalent?
Kinda like SAT style?
Normal dissociation is to zoning out on drive to work as Dissociative Disorder is to zoning out when (* input known trigger*)
Idk...just a thought to play around with...

Oh, I always liked this version...a singleton can wear different hats...a multiple has a different Other to wear a single hat.

I dunno if this is simple to understand or not but I liked it. What are the signs and symptoms of dissociative identity disorder?

thanks Luce, I enjoyed that article.. i could of wrote this part personally

https://di.org.au/about-multiplicity/

Summary Structural Dissociation | Complex Trauma

Thank you Luce!! I read it and it is a very easy to understand explanation of dissociation. I actually sent it to my husbands email. I asked him to read it in pieces and not fly through it. It makes total sense.

Thank you!!

Thank you for posting this about Structural Dissociation. It makes sense to me and I liked the diagrams.

This is a really great source!! Thank you for posting this one too!!