So switchy causes memory problems

I just looked at the clothes Im wearing and don't remember putting the underwear on and which one to like why am I wearing this one? Memory search....not there. The past is fragmented and a collage of glimpses in the fuzzy distants so much to 5 minutes even just seconds ago.

The past feels disconnected and a blur with memories over riding other memories in a random mix.

Memories stay with the one that experiences them....so when we are very switchy, a single moment memory can be sub-divided into disconnected parts- my personal opinion based on my experience.

2016 seems like just a few months of time passing.

Memories are so garbled....I can't even seem to find a coherent one of mine..since this is our normal, I just come across as absentminded and joked about which makes for a decent disguise. Being that memory recall is almost impossible...I just deal with the present. It gives me headaches trying to pull out a memory, so I don't.

This also screws with our want to. When I want to do something...you know the rest...it's wiped gone.

Like right now....all I see is this iPad in front me without any past or immediate plans for the future even though I don't want to do some of the things that was said we must do. :/

The word is limbo. A constant state of existence: limbo. I termed it chaos before....but it's mostly limbo that best describes our existence.

I wish that there was a goal driven way...but being switchy kills any drive we muster.

These are the hard cold facts. I'm sure you know what I mean, but everyone is different.

C'est la vie.

((((hugs)))))

We eventually got out and did some stuff, finally. We saw our ex....went to the store...it rained....we drank beer. Really trying hard to pull these memories out. Nope...mind went blank. So frustrating. I know this is what we did, but what happened at these times are a distant vague garbled mess of colors and flash images in no order.

College was a bomb.

I feel like an airhead.

I notice that I stare at things a lot wondering how did it get there. Like often going into the kitchen to find dirty dishes in the sink, food wrappers on the counters realizing that our diet is shot, the clothes I have on isn't what I was wearing....etc

Oh well, this is normal. The amazment has gone out the window a long time ago.

Feel ya on lots of this. We got one lady inside n she says our life plays out like a movie film reel that got chopped up, some bits taken out, then the thing got taped together in random order n it plays out backwards or forward or however it wants to whenever. This is life as i know it. I came around again i dunno a few months ago maybe? I was all hmmmm is that snow? wasnt it summer or fall or something? n who shaved half my head? okay. whatever. Yeah its rough when you cant plan for nothin when you not even sure who gonna be here later. Sincerely. Messed up part for me n mine anyhow is quite a few of us got real good co con 9 times outta 10. Itd be nice if it was like that with all of us but who knows who them other ones are. Not me. Thats for sure.

~Gwen~