I need to talk about my alters with my T

I need to talk about my alters with my T but one of them won't let me. The most I have been able to do is imply that there may be more personalities than just me, but I don't think that the hint was enough for her actually see my cry for help. All of this on top of being bipolar I can see where it would be hard to tell the difference between personalities and the symptoms of bipolar. Anyone have any advice? I've been switching a lot lately. So much so I didn't even notice until my best friend pointed it out to me. I'm afraid of the 4th person I think this person is a homicidal maniac.

my suggestion would be instead of trying to force the alter who's sense of agency is to prevent the telling of the secrets. just let things happen naturally.

here in my location dissociation is a natural response to anything triggering, therapy is where people go to a therapist and talk about their problems which trigger them and which they are not able to solve on their own.

what that means is just due to the natural course of therapy a person with DID is going to naturally switch into the alters who's sense of agency it is to take care of that trigger.

(sense of agency is a new diagnostic term for DID, that means dissociative alters of the person they reside with in have their own ways of being, their own jobs, purposes, and reasons for being created, what causes them to take control, things that make them distinguishable from each other and the one that they reside with in, how much control each alter has...)

for example rainy was my dissociative alter who's sense of agency was sadness and fear of storms. thats why she was created to take care of those situations and when she would take control, it was her job, purpose reason for being created to take care of any situations that caused me sadness and fear of storms.

now heres how DID alters work in therapy, my treatment provider and I are talking and we end up talking about a storm or something sad, the natural response to this is naturally switching into the alter Rainy. then the therapist is naturally talking with Rainy.

no guesswork on me, no stress on me, no fighting against Frown to tell the therapist about the others( for the purpose of this post I will call Frown because their actual name would get filtered out of the post due to the sites profanity filter). each alter just tells about their self during the normal process of therapy...

the funny part is when I did tell my therapist I wanted to tell her about others but was unable to she smiled and said thats ok thats already been happening. getting the diagnosis doesnt change what has already been happening. with out my even knowing she has already been talking with my alters. Im guessing if you and your therapist are talking about anything of a triggering nature then you dont .......neeed..... to tell your therapist anything about the others, they have already been doing so their self. its just already happening naturally due to what the disorder is.

i just blurt stuff out if i can... that way no one can stop me... or forget...
i would find the shortest way to say it as blunt as possible...
just trying to convey fact.. i tested my T and she seemed to pass the stupid little test... in my head...
so i just told her straight forward... but my T is cool, i like her because shes cute and smart and listens and tries to understand, even if she doesnt completely get it yet

I was prepared to tell her today it was going to be a fight but she was sick so I couldn't tell her. BT I have reached the point of needing outpatient therapy for the next 4 weeks or so. So hopefully during that time I can tell someone. Even my Fred's have noticed the changes in me when I most on Facebook. I thought I knew all of my alters but I don't. There are two I don't know who they are. I'm self destructing quick fast and I a hurry. I'm drunk right now. Really drunk. I miss my aunt. I still grieve her it seems so unfair that she died and my other aunt is still living. I can't stand my other aunt I wish it were her instead. I can't talk to my mother because of her and I think that also affects me. I don't know. I know I shouldn't have drank but I just wanted the high. I'm currently looking for AA meetings to go to. I put a note up to remind me. I don't know where To go from here. My mother says I should go for disability but I don't want to I want to work and function like a halfway normal person bt I don't think that I will be able to. I think I'm at the end of my rope mentally.

i'm sorry she was sick.

maybe you can see her next time

I'm curious, do you know why that one does not want you to talk with the t about the others? If you don't I'd be starting there... trying to understand the whys. Though I have no idea if that is possible with you... not sure what level of communication you have going on.

-Veda

I don't know why I can't tell her. Its like certain things I want to talk about prepare to talk about get there and then totally switch.