[Lady Lindsey]

Hi
not sure if this is a trigger post or not.
I am terrified to go to a mental hospital.
Lots of reasons why I am dx'd with exhaustion, depression and high functioning D.I.D.

I am on short term leave from work, basically because of exhaustion, I just can't seem to cope and have come to the conclusion that I am a burden to my therapist, who is wonderful, my family and useless at a job I once found enjoyable and recognized as a top perforner... now I just feel broken.... me and my T will be meeting and discussing more about this tomorrow... I gave my T a promise that I would act on no impulse until the 8tj
. The 8th is fast approaching...apparentlt part of myself believes I need help

Can anyone tell me if they have experience with vokoiimy
Tart admission and if you found the experience good or if it pushed you closer
To the edge??.

it is lovely to hear from you linzy (I thought I recognized the name!)

I am sorry you are struggling at the moment, but hope posting here gives you the support you need

Originally Posted by Lady Lindsey

Hi
not sure if this is a trigger post or not.
I am terrified to go to a mental hospital.
Lots of reasons why I am dx'd with exhaustion, depression and high functioning D.I.D.

I am on short term leave from work, basically because of exhaustion, I just can't seem to cope and have come to the conclusion that I am a burden to my therapist, who is wonderful, my family and useless at a job I once found enjoyable and recognized as a top perforner... now I just feel broken.... me and my T will be meeting and discussing more about this tomorrow... I gave my T a promise that I would act on no impulse until the 8tj
. The 8th is fast approaching...apparentlt part of myself believes I need help

Can anyone tell me if they have experience with vokoiimy
Tart admission and if you found the experience good or if it pushed you closer
To the edge??.

Hi Lindsey....I've never volunteered (even though I wish I could) but has been committed once...

Just by your wordings I'd go myself....the way you feel and think are danger signs of coming into depression. The plus side of volunteering is that you can always leave if it's not working for you vs the 2 week commitment.

This will give you a chance to talk to a "new" treatment team of your issues and see what they recommend....something more then you can get from your present mental health team.

In our system...we know we can't please everybody...but majority rules and if it's for the betterment of ourselves....then it has to be a must do.

Good luck and I hope that you get to feeling better.

[Lady Lindsey]

Hello
Always Changing,
I have never gone to a hospital, except to visit my mother, she was in and out quite often.

I am terrified to go, as it means, in my mind I am like my mother.

I am at a breaking point...i am frightened of myself and where my thoughts are taking me

most of my others want to go on, However me and Lacy, have the choice in this matter. I am frightened of mysel... I have always been high functioning. Not being able to work or function makes me feel like a burden tothe world...

I promised I would do nothing . The 8th is the end of my promise the 10th is the date for action.

I think i am more terrified of going to the hospital verses D ieing

Always Changing or anyone else can you tell me what it was like for your little ones, or yourself... I am terrified

[finding_my_way]

i have been a few times at different ages for different things. it would help if you can bring someone with you for support for the intake part.

when i was a young teen, it was helpful. i felt like i was in a safe place. there was a routine and also groups, though i wasn't functioning enough to do groups. i mostly just read books or talked to other patients or did puzzles. i had passes at times so could go out with family or friends for an hour or few. it also helped with the staff being kind. some didn't seem to really 'hear' me at times when i needed support, so that was frustrating. it helped to connect to a few of the patients though, but some of them caused me anxiety also.

you also meet with a psychiatrist usually who will go over your symptoms and meds and make adjustments as necessary.

how things go really depends on a few things, how the environment/other patients are, how the staff are towards you, how you respond to things that go on, and how the overall place is. if it's a general psych ward with patients with all different diagnoses, it might just be a stabilization type of ward, so things won't necessarily be geared towards your individual diagnoses compared to a specialized ward where the staff would be trained in specific things (trauma, etc.) and how to appropriately respond to each person's needs.

maybe you can talk to your therapist about it more.

hospitals aren't a place that people 'want' to go usually, but they can be helpful if you are struggling with wanting to end your life. it might not help significantly with other things, but the goal would be to help keep you safe in the mean time.

i hope that you get the support you need.

Originally Posted by Lady Lindsey

Hello
Always Changing,
I have never gone to a hospital, except to visit my mother, she was in and out quite often.

I am terrified to go, as it means, in my mind I am like my mother.

I am at a breaking point...i am frightened of myself and where my thoughts are taking me

most of my others want to go on, However me and Lacy, have the choice in this matter. I am frightened of mysel... I have always been high functioning. Not being able to work or function makes me feel like a burden tothe world...

I promised I would do nothing . The 8th is the end of my promise the 10th is the date for action.

I think i am more terrified of going to the hospital verses D ieing

Always Changing or anyone else can you tell me what it was like for your little ones, or yourself... I am terrified

The psych ward I was at is nothing like an ER hospital....it was just kicked back and slow paced.... very calming. I'm sorry but your mother....but like I'm not my parent...and you aren't yours. To tell you the truth....we felt safe.

[Lady Lindsey]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

The psych ward I was at is nothing like an ER hospital....it was just kicked back and slow paced.... very calming. I'm sorry but your mother....but like I'm not my parent...and you aren't yours. To tell you the truth....we felt safe.

You are correct I am not my mother....unfortunately i am a product of her and her genetics. I did not know I had DID until my early 30s when I was dx'd. My mother made a private journal. She made a copy of this journal, and wrote me a letter I 1998 to go with the copy of the journal. Back when they first found out about my DID.... I got the copy and letter hand delivered to me lady July.

..when I opened it a read it....things became so crystal clear, the mother who could be almost perfect one minute and the next minute chasing me around with a telling me I dispossessed by an evil demon that he must cast out.
.i was 5 the first time I saw my mother go through an exorcision.... The package had a no e letter explaing about her others were demons cast out of her that did help some but not all her erratic personality switches. The book went into depth that she had been d's d with DID yearsagi....formely MOD but she was did with it I

[kecanoe]

I went to a trauma unit for IP voluntarily. I was not able to function, was switching like mad, ugh. It was helpful in several ways. I learned a lot about trauma, it's effect on the body and mind. I was safe and I was able to relax because there were so many precautions for safety on that unit that I believed that I would not be successful in any violence toward self.

Because I went voluntarily, I could sign myself out if I wanted. That made the whole thing easier, too. I grieved that I was in a psych hospital; my mom had to spend some time in one and I didn't want to be following her footsteps. But overall, yeah, it was a good decision. I do recommend you go somewhere where they treat trauma or dissociation rather than a general psych ward.

[dlantern]

The psych ward will test whether you are in like what is called DID Therapy where they test who is front by asking questions like we are surprised at the way you remember numbers. This happens, if you don't share in a way that says the clinicians want you to use the their terms. They will want to know the memories and daily memories to associate it isn't as bad as it seem to see how bad the interference might be etc. How well you can get back safe in and out of switches, at some point this it is inevitable. It was some of the best sleep ever on those pills in a room with some of rarest folks is what I was told. You all have to be able to unravel yourself out of being socially annexed slow to speak. It can help you understand who you are how to cope and what it means to rehabilitate so that you can manage and at some point occupationally speaking become better.

There was several groups, food, and individual session so you will get the dependency of speaking and time to be with someone that cares.

[Gr3tta_0]

I have had both good and bad hospital experiences. If you find the idea of "voluntary means i can leave" reassuring, make sure you know the procedure. Where i live, the request to leave a voluntary stay requires a 72 hour hold. During that time they can petition to change you from voluntary to involuntary. So best case scenario, you would still be there 3 more days.
The biggest and best question to ask yourself about hospitalization is, "what do i hope to get out of it?" If you feel you will be unsafe if unsupervised, then it may be necessary. If your needs can be met by outpatient services, then that may be the better option. Make sure you look into the hospital programming. Will you have groups all day? Therapy? Classes? Or will you just be going even more crazy just staring at a wall?
I hope you can do the best thibg to keep yourself safe and well.

[AMK64]

Originally Posted by Lady Lindsey

Hi
not sure if this is a trigger post or not.
I am terrified to go to a mental hospital.
Lots of reasons why I am dx'd with exhaustion, depression and high functioning D.I.D.

I am on short term leave from work, basically because of exhaustion, I just can't seem to cope and have come to the conclusion that I am a burden to my therapist, who is wonderful, my family and useless at a job I once found enjoyable and recognized as a top perforner... now I just feel broken.... me and my T will be meeting and discussing more about this tomorrow... I gave my T a promise that I would act on no impulse until the 8tj
. The 8th is fast approaching...apparentlt part of myself believes I need help

Can anyone tell me if they have experience with vokoiimy
Tart admission and if you found the experience good or if it pushed you closer
To the edge??.

hey Lindsey, I've been to a mental hospital before and its not as scary as you think. I met someone in there im actually still friends with. The hospital really just provides you support and helps you get back on your feet to go back out into the "real world," ya know? The only thing to be careful of is to not get used to just doing nothing, I got caught into the trap of just not thinking about my problems in there because I didn't really have to unless we were discussing together. you've gotta face your problems and yourself so you can get better. hope everything works out as Im sure it will. praying for you. you've got this!