[confusedondid]

I am so confused on how you can really tell if what you are dealing with is DID or something else. My therapist strongly believes it is true and there are many things that I can't explain (I often feel what I call 'possessed' by someone of different age and current emotional feeling and even wants and desires. Sometimes I feel like I am surprised I remember my own name because I forget things so easily and after spending a lot of time with another person and having interactions with others that I don't seem to recognize, I find I am FREQUENTLY asking who that person was and the other person has no problem remembering where we had both seen them together and interacted and I have no memory of it. I do have large gaps of memory in the past and of a lot of things that I am 'reminded of'(you remember when such and such and.......... um, no I don't)... etc..... but I know many people have varying degrees of memory and confusion for things and as for the 'possesion' feelings,
I often wonder if I am just making that all up. I know there are no people in my head, but sometimes it is almost as if I can hear them crying and even feel like there are fights going on. But then I get almost certain this has to be something major and the next moment I am sure I am just making it up for attention or something (however, only like 2 people even know if it's existance and nobody knows how often it has happened but it has happened all my life so it has seemed normal to me and now I wonder if I am just making a big deal out of what other people call 'their inner child and various parts used for different aspects of daily functioning' but for me sometimes these 'parts' feel like they are taking over and I have to work very hard to hide what is happening from anybody around and excuse myself if it feels like I can't hide it. I know if very professional and anxiety provoking situations, I wont remember what went on in conversations a lot of times but can't decide if that is just a stress response or what my therapist has suggested in 'lost time' because another part has stepped in.....

As you can tell, I am so confused that I can't even stick to one belief in my explanation... I just don't get it all and thought maybe hearing other people thoughts and experiences might help

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by confusedondid

I am so confused on how you can really tell if what you are dealing with is DID or something else. My therapist strongly believes it is true and there are many things that I can't explain (I often feel what I call 'possessed' by someone of different age and current emotional feeling and even wants and desires. Sometimes I feel like I am surprised I remember my own name because I forget things so easily and after spending a lot of time with another person and having interactions with others that I don't seem to recognize, I find I am FREQUENTLY asking who that person was and the other person has no problem remembering where we had both seen them together and interacted and I have no memory of it. I do have large gaps of memory in the past and of a lot of things that I am 'reminded of'(you remember when such and such and.......... um, no I don't)... etc..... but I know many people have varying degrees of memory and confusion for things and as for the 'possesion' feelings,
I often wonder if I am just making that all up. I know there are no people in my head, but sometimes it is almost as if I can hear them crying and even feel like there are fights going on. But then I get almost certain this has to be something major and the next moment I am sure I am just making it up for attention or something (however, only like 2 people even know if it's existance and nobody knows how often it has happened but it has happened all my life so it has seemed normal to me and now I wonder if I am just making a big deal out of what other people call 'their inner child and various parts used for different aspects of daily functioning' but for me sometimes these 'parts' feel like they are taking over and I have to work very hard to hide what is happening from anybody around and excuse myself if it feels like I can't hide it. I know if very professional and anxiety provoking situations, I wont remember what went on in conversations a lot of times but can't decide if that is just a stress response or what my therapist has suggested in 'lost time' because another part has stepped in.....

As you can tell, I am so confused that I can't even stick to one belief in my explanation... I just don't get it all and thought maybe hearing other people thoughts and experiences might help

short version... there is no real way to tell someone is DID or if their problem is something else. most times people do have their symptoms all their lives but its the treatment provider most if not always that puts the name to all those problems that have been happening all that persons life.

the possession like symptoms Talk with your treatment provider, they will tell you if your version of possession like symptoms are dissociative or if they are something else. in short the term "possession" in the diagnostics is a cultural description designating ownership, not like having ghosts and spirits jump into ones body or appear through someone else like you see in the movies and books.

example

instead of saying....

"I got triggered, felt numb, spaced out and disconnected then my alternate personality named rainy came out to take care of things during the storm"

on the reservation we say...

Rainy had possession during the storm, after the storm i had possession.

see what I mean by a cultural description designating ownership. some cultures use type of language and language structure.

my suggestion is talk with your treatment provider, they will be able to explain in language that you can understand how and why they think you may have DID and the ways to tell the difference between your DID or your other problems, based on how things are with you,

[confusedondid]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

short version... there is no real way to tell someone is DID or if their problem is something else. most times people do have their symptoms all their lives but its the treatment provider most if not always that puts the name to all those problems that have been happening all that persons life.

the possession like symptoms Talk with your treatment provider, they will tell you if your version of possession like symptoms are dissociative or if they are something else. in short the term "possession" in the diagnostics is a cultural description designating ownership, not like having ghosts and spirits jump into ones body or appear through someone else like you see in the movies and books.

example

instead of saying....

"I got triggered, felt numb, spaced out and disconnected then my alternate personality named rainy came out to take care of things during the storm"

on the reservation we say...

Rainy had possession during the storm, after the storm i had possession.

see what I mean by a cultural description designating ownership. some cultures use type of language and language structure.

my suggestion is talk with your treatment provider, they will be able to explain in language that you can understand how and why they think you may have DID and the ways to tell the difference between your DID or your other problems, based on how things are with you,

Thank you but I promise we have talked a lot. I was just wanting to get a realistic view from others as my therapist doesn't have these symptoms and so can only relate and understand based on how I can best describe how things are. I was hoping hearing how other people described or connected to things that I might connect myself and see where I am similar or different.

I do see where the term 'possession' is very vague but I wasn't trying to treat this as I was wanting people to give a diagnosis, so I didn't want to put symptoms out there in a manner that looked like I was trying to be overly detailed and wanting people to diagnose it. What I was trying to say was that sometimes it feels like somebody else has either come inside with me or even is pulling my strings more then I am or can sometimes even stop. Often I have enough control to keep it pushed down where nobody else would have a clue what is going on and sometimes I can't and remove myself from situations before somebody can tell and then other times I can feel and see everything change and even the attitude and feelings are different. That is the best I can describe from what I meant as possession.

Sorry for the confusion

[Gr3tta_0]

I think the thread, "what were your first signs of did?" a little below, might answer your question if i understand it?
Good luck to you ��

[finding_my_way]

i don't have the memory issues you do of not knowing who people are, so i cannot relate to that. and i do have the denial and confusion aspect a lot..but i know it is real because it is my experience. it doesn't matter to me if others have similar symptoms or not, it is more a matter of how it affects me and trying to find ways to manage it all.

you just have to learn to trust yourself and also your therapist because that is the only way you will be able to come to a level of acceptance. it also will make things a bit easier on you, though denial and acceptance are common and come and go with this too.

[confusedondid]

THanks all. I will say that there is NO trust in self at all as I can't figure anything out or make sense of anything. I think or feel one way at one moment and then doubt myself or think completely differently the next. And to add to it, I am constantly trying to decide if I am just making the entire thing up and I am just making a big deal out of inner differences that everybody has and then I don't think so..... I just don't know anything

[Amyjay]

confusedondid I can relate to your memory problems a lot. I was diagnosed with DID a few months ago and I also struggle with knowing if it is real or not. Sometimes certain experiences like being aware of others make me feel like yeah, this is totally real but then other times it all feels like an awful lie to me. I am still coming to grips with it and trying to understand it.
I have had many experiences like you when people talk about things that I suppose I should remember but have not even the slightest recollection, other people have shown me photographs too of "me" at this party or that party dressed up in costume or whatever but I don't remember the slightest detail of that supposed event. Well I suppose it must have happened because there is a photo of "me" there. Sometimes i think I "should" remember stuff like that but I don't. There are photos of me with people but i have no idea who they are and other people talk as if I should know them but I don't. So all I can do is assume that must have something to do with DID but it really all feels so surreal it is hard to be sure.
ANyway I just wanted to let you know i can relate to that part of your post.

[confusedondid]

thanks all

I know what you mean about possession....to me, it's like you can physically feel an alter take over the body. A wave flows from head to toe, then they try the toes, fingers, muscles, while you watch. The posture changes, the way we feel or act....

Then the mind change happens....then you are them and they are you.

I see it as being co-conscious...but I haven't figured it out yet for us. It's like our conscious is awake which we share...but their thoughts and memories disappear with them...or I'm just a watcher (this makes most sense) and the Others come forward to do their thing....I'm an intellect, but not in any real control as my thoughts become their thoughts...just an atom of awareness...but does this make me the real me....or am I just an Other...which makes the most sense. Yes it's so confusing.

I'm like an empty body shell and they give us personality and life....the layers are so confusing at times as to who is who...so many switches and changes in a moment. What's nutz is I don't really know who I am...or are....

We are poly-fragmented....and can share some memories...which makes it seem fake....but there are also the missing memories that others have...

Idk....everyones system is different....but there are some similarities. Let's hear more of yours.

I know at first this is mind blowing...but it's always been this way. So welcome!

[Solnutty]

@Always-- I relate very much to how you describe switching and co-consciousness.