[eggyolk2]

I have one other personality. I feel like I share the brain in my body with another me. It sounds freaking crazy, yes I know. She is evil actually. Since I was younger, I or her, was breaking things and hurting my brother constantly. I or her would apologise and say this exactly "Sorry that was Bad Alison, not Good Alison." I have been seeing and hearing scary voices, whispers, screaming and random conversations since I was younger (not sure the exact age) and I was so scared for years. I have spoken to my other half actually. I can hear her in my mind daily. She laughs, screams and just talks normally. My girlfriend saw her come out multiple times. She believes that as a child I could not handle all emotions since I was extremely abused by my family that I made another personality that had the bad emotions. The Bad Alison has two emotions, anger and dark humor (EVIL). I have every other one. She feels no pain or remorse. I feel so much pain all the time. She is always laughing in my head. Every time I cry, she laughs. She told my girlfriend that soon that we will become one and not two different personality. I truly am never in my body when she comes out. She has very crazy, open eyes and a sinister smile. I know when I about to switch. I lose almost all senses such as eyesight, hearing loss and sense of feeling/touch. I have one big thing I see that is not real. A guy (maybe) hologram looking, no face, dark and scary. He whispers to me often even without seeing him. I have experienced severe childhood trauma. I get major flashbacks while dissociating and when I dissociate, I become completely catatonic. I see myself floating above my body looking down on myself all alone and dark and without clothes. If anyone reading this or knows of anyone that has anything like I experience, please please please reply I need to know what is happening to me. Thanks

[whispers_inthedark]

Talk to a therapist. This could be any number of things and no one here is a trained professional.

[Shazerac]

Welcome to psych central it does sound like you have emotional issues possibly from trauma in childhood. We are not doctors so we can't tell you what is wrong or give you a diagnosis.

I urge you to go see a therapist or doctor.

[Solnutty]

You are not alone! Some of my personalities include Gnash, and Dragon, both of whom I first knew as sinister, angry, creepy parts. I was afraid of them. The very best thing you can do is talk to them and remember they have very good reasons for being that way. They need as much understanding and acceptance as you can muster, especially when it seems like they don't deserve it. You must befriend them. This doesn't mean agreeing with their ways, but it does mean being respectful and doing all you can to understand them. This is hard when dealing with scary parts, believe me, I know! Over time, Gnash, who once seemed like he wanted to destroy everything good in my life (his life too), became my friend. Some time after that we quite naturally became one. Gnash had never experienced joy of any kind prior to that. Even though he was so awful in so many ways, he was like that because he took the worst of the abuse and pain for me. Gnash was my bullet proof vest, and he suffered all the things I couldn't handle. Looking back I'm so thankful for him, and my gratitude and understanding helped heal his pain. He changed a lot. Even Dragon, who is just as creepy and odd as his name suggests, is a friend to me and helps me now.

[eggyolk2]

Originally Posted by Solnutty

You are not alone! Some of my personalities include Gnash, and Dragon, both of whom I first knew as sinister, angry, creepy parts. I was afraid of them. The very best thing you can do is talk to them and remember they have very good reasons for being that way. They need as much understanding and acceptance as you can muster, especially when it seems like they don't deserve it. You must befriend them. This doesn't mean agreeing with their ways, but it does mean being respectful and doing all you can to understand them. This is hard when dealing with scary parts, believe me, I know! Over time, Gnash, who once seemed like he wanted to destroy everything good in my life (his life too), became my friend. Some time after that we quite naturally became one. Gnash had never experienced joy of any kind prior to that. Even though he was so awful in so many ways, he was like that because he took the worst of the abuse and pain for me. Gnash was my bullet proof vest, and he suffered all the things I couldn't handle. Looking back I'm so thankful for him, and my gratitude and understanding helped heal his pain. He changed a lot. Even Dragon, who is just as creepy and odd as his name suggests, is a friend to me and helps me now.

your reply honestly made me feel less alone. i always thought i was the only one suffering with this. i don't know anybody else who even remotely goes through this. i've read a lot about DID and was confused because they all had 10+ personalities when i only have one. i was wondering if you have any other way to contact you because you honestly helped me so much and if you wouldn't mind helping me a little through this i am only 18 years old suffering badly. i just need to know i am not crazy or possessed.

-L

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by eggyolk2

I have one other personality. I feel like I share the brain in my body with another me. It sounds freaking crazy, yes I know. She is evil actually. Since I was younger, I or her, was breaking things and hurting my brother constantly. I or her would apologise and say this exactly "Sorry that was Bad Alison, not Good Alison." I have been seeing and hearing scary voices, whispers, screaming and random conversations since I was younger (not sure the exact age) and I was so scared for years. I have spoken to my other half actually. I can hear her in my mind daily. She laughs, screams and just talks normally. My girlfriend saw her come out multiple times. She believes that as a child I could not handle all emotions since I was extremely abused by my family that I made another personality that had the bad emotions. The Bad Alison has two emotions, anger and dark humor (EVIL). I have every other one. She feels no pain or remorse. I feel so much pain all the time. She is always laughing in my head. Every time I cry, she laughs. She told my girlfriend that soon that we will become one and not two different personality. I truly am never in my body when she comes out. She has very crazy, open eyes and a sinister smile. I know when I about to switch. I lose almost all senses such as eyesight, hearing loss and sense of feeling/touch. I have one big thing I see that is not real. A guy (maybe) hologram looking, no face, dark and scary. He whispers to me often even without seeing him. I have experienced severe childhood trauma. I get major flashbacks while dissociating and when I dissociate, I become completely catatonic. I see myself floating above my body looking down on myself all alone and dark and without clothes. If anyone reading this or knows of anyone that has anything like I experience, please please please reply I need to know what is happening to me. Thanks

In me splitting into a good side of me and a bad side of me was not called a dissociative disorder. in me "Splitting" into me or those around me into good and bad was not called a dissociative disorder. This was different than my having my dissociative type of alters with my DID. in me the splitting into good and bad me's, is part of my depressive disorders, in my sibling having a good personality and a bad personality ("Splitting) is called borderline personality disorder.

like others have already said I cant tell you what this is in you, only your own doctors can do that. my suggestion is call your medical doctor and tell them what is going on, they will be able to get you set up for a mental health person who can tell you what this is in you.

in the mean time if you google the words splitting into good and bad you will see all the different things this can be.

[dlantern]

Trigger Warning.....

Ur not alone Faith Allen Kim Noble and also Grantley has a site with a lady name buddy with the vulnerable data. I think it takes courage to post I wouldn't approve of shares to any therapist they are really not equipped they don't ask either . it is ususally up to what is hurting you then in your session....Maybe if this is the focal point try an offenders program in your town...Anything can make it seem vulnerble if you dont have a good well meaning therapist before you learn the inner workings.....Circumsion care anything by the mom even if they looked that way as alter that will cause it all to be excurisionly painful when it was truly the past.......After they dissociated buried and they fought against sharing so sounds about right to not want to share until they go and get it anyway.......I tend to think it is best to get a little better speaking I know systems messed up over too early shares and cults that are too green knocking down social securities doors

[Solnutty]

Originally Posted by eggyolk2

your reply honestly made me feel less alone. i always thought i was the only one suffering with this. i don't know anybody else who even remotely goes through this. i've read a lot about DID and was confused because they all had 10+ personalities when i only have one. i was wondering if you have any other way to contact you because you honestly helped me so much and if you wouldn't mind helping me a little through this i am only 18 years old suffering badly. i just need to know i am not crazy or possessed.

-L

I'm so glad I don't want you to feel alone. I sent you a private message. Having fewer splits that someone else doesn't make your experience any less valid. Everyone is different. I would like to clarify that I actually do have several personalities. To keep my post short I only mentioned my sinister ones.

[yagr]

Originally Posted by eggyolk2

your reply honestly made me feel less alone. i always thought i was the only one suffering with this. i don't know anybody else who even remotely goes through this. i've read a lot about DID and was confused because they all had 10+ personalities when i only have one. i was wondering if you have any other way to contact you because you honestly helped me so much and if you wouldn't mind helping me a little through this i am only 18 years old suffering badly. i just need to know i am not crazy or possessed.

-L

As has been stated here ad naseum, we can't diagnose you here, but I'm always a bit frustrated when someone new shows up to this forum and they get well meaning advice to see a professional for a diagnosis. I've been to at least twelve mental health professionals over the course of my lifetime and wasn't diagnosed with DID until the last one while I was in my 50's. So, to be clear, only a professional mental health practitioner can diagnose you, but just because they diagnose you as having something, doesn't mean they'll get the diagnosis right - or won't miss a diagnosis.

The reason that I quoted the above though, was that I knew that I had DID since my twenties, but was only aware of one alter. It wasn't until I started working with a competent professional (again, in my 50's) that I discovered three more. We are both confident that we've found them all. I ran in to the same issues and feelings that I am hearing from you - concern and confusion because we (thought) we only had one alter or part. I was probably a bit better off than you because when I first began researching my symptoms decades ago, the average number of alters reported was much lower than it is today and 'one' was not such an anomaly.

[Shazerac]

I don't have have dissociative disorder, but my sister had it. I got to know all of her personalities well. She had at least 3. And occasionally she turned into Boy George. It was amazing...she looked and sounded just like him.

Hers was caused by childhood sexual abuse. I say was because she passed away in July I miss all of her.

You are definitely NOT alone. There is help out there for you. And of course you can post here whenever you want to

[Solnutty]

How are you doing, eggyolk2?