[adaremoon]

I came to this topic because of a screening test (outside source) and the Sanity Score test (associated with this site). Both tests mentioned "high" score on DID.

I guess I can briefly explain what's going on...

I notice a very up and down when it comes to my moods. For example, one minute I can be very upbeat and happy and within a blink of an eye I'll become very angry, to myself and hateful. I would normally rule this out as "mood swings" but let me explain further...

When I'm in an upbeat happy mood, my personality changes with it. I become outgoing, talkative, excited and friendly. (Picture Elle Woods from Legally Blonde). I also have a friend that I become inseparable from when I'm like this. She and I get along great and we have fun.

Now...when I feel angry, to myself and hateful, my personality completely flip flops. I immediately stay away from people. I don't like talking to anyone and that friend I just mentioned...I hate her. When I'm like this I don't consider her a friend. I don't like her. She and I don't get along when I'm like this because she annoys me and I'm mean to her. I also feel more masculine (I'm a female) when I'm like this. However, with the personality I mentioned earlier, I feel very feminine.

These two are not the only ones. However, I did say this would be brief. Maybe I'll explain further if you guys would like me to. I'm confused because I don't understand what's going on. I literally "switched" on my friend tonight and she noticed this time. She acted shocked or surprised and said "what just happened? Why are you so aggressive all of a sudden?" I looked at her very confused like and shrugged my shoulders. This is what made me grow concerned.

Any idea what may be going on with me? (Extra note: My taste in music changes too). I'm not going to self-diagnose myself with DID because I don't understand it. I'm just concerned because both tests I took said the chance of DID was very high.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by adaremoon

I came to this topic because of a screening test (outside source) and the Sanity Score test (associated with this site). Both tests mentioned "high" score on DID.

I guess I can briefly explain what's going on...

I notice a very up and down when it comes to my moods. For example, one minute I can be very upbeat and happy and within a blink of an eye I'll become very angry, to myself and hateful. I would normally rule this out as "mood swings" but let me explain further...

When I'm in an upbeat happy mood, my personality changes with it. I become outgoing, talkative, excited and friendly. (Picture Elle Woods from Legally Blonde). I also have a friend that I become inseparable from when I'm like this. She and I get along great and we have fun.

Now...when I feel angry, to myself and hateful, my personality completely flip flops. I immediately stay away from people. I don't like talking to anyone and that friend I just mentioned...I hate her. When I'm like this I don't consider her a friend. I don't like her. She and I don't get along when I'm like this because she annoys me and I'm mean to her. I also feel more masculine (I'm a female) when I'm like this. However, with the personality I mentioned earlier, I feel very feminine.

These two are not the only ones. However, I did say this would be brief. Maybe I'll explain further if you guys would like me to. I'm confused because I don't understand what's going on. I literally "switched" on my friend tonight and she noticed this time. She acted shocked or surprised and said "what just happened? Why are you so aggressive all of a sudden?" I looked at her very confused like and shrugged my shoulders. This is what made me grow concerned.

Any idea what may be going on with me? (Extra note: My taste in music changes too). I'm not going to self-diagnose myself with DID because I don't understand it. I'm just concerned because both tests I took said the chance of DID was very high.

I see that you are new, first may I point you to the disclaimer at the bottom of every page (new people in general tend to miss this because it is way down there at the bottom of the page beyond the forums...)

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.

what all that is, is no one here can actually give you a diagnosis or tell you what your problems add up to being. only your own doctors can do that.

what we do here is share a bit about ourselves and our problems then others that may have the same problems or suggestions or know someone with these same problems reply back to you. since this is on the internet you will most likely get a whole mess of replies telling you its this or that in the person who replies. this is because their problems that are the same as yours may add up to something different in their locations.

in me what you describe is called bipolar disorder, and MS (a physical health problem that distorts my perceptions)

I too have taken tests outside psych central and the sanity score. here is something funny one such test told me my problem was DID when it was MS (a physical health problem) another site miss diagnosed my actual DID problems as being a male sexual problem when I am a woman very much in love with my wife and have no sexual related problems at the time I took that test...

what Im getting at is dont rely on tests you find online for what your problems are. they only score in what ever and how ever you happen to answer then at that moment. they dont take into consideration many other elements that are involved with doctors making a diagnosis like someone's personal history of mental and physical health, their medications, drugs and alcohol usage, their lifestyle, their cultural backgrounds and much much more.

your scores on those tests are just representing how you were .....at the moment.... that you took the tests. they are not meant as diagnostic tools. most are online now because they are outdated and no longer used by actual treatment providers. when you retake them you will most likely find this one went up or down or that one says something completely different.

my suggestion is if what you posted continues to bother you, to talk with a mental health treatment provider and your medical treatment provider in your off the computer location. they will be able to tell you what this is with in you and get you treated for it so that it no longer bothers you.

[Skeezyks]

Hello adaremoon: I'm sorry I cannot comment with regard to your concern. However I noticed no one had replied to your post. So I thought I would. Are you familiar with family therapist Kati Morton's videos on YouTube? Here's a link to Kati's Dissociative Disorders play list. Perhaps this will be of some assistance:

[MtnTime2896]

Do you ever lose chunks of time? Like, you're sitting at a bus stop and someone approaches you, begins talking and then you're in your living room on the couch, for example.

[Amyjay]

The dissociative disorders exist on a continuum with DID at one extreme end of it and the screening tests are more for all sorts of dissociative symptoms and don't differentiate between DID and nonDID. I hope that reassures you that it doesn't mean you have DID but does indicate you experience some form of dissociation. I have DID and my experience of my different parts is very different to what you describe. But that doesn't mean that you don't have DID! What you describe definitely sounds like it may be a kind of dissociation though and would warrant formal assessment especially if you have a history of trauma.

[adaremoon]

I know that one thing I noticed I do is when I'm driving and suddenly I reach a point and can't remember how I got there. For example...I will not remember the two mile travel between point A and point B. I also "space out" a lot and I don't know or remember what's going on around me and it takes me peers forever to get my attention.

[MtnTime2896]

Originally Posted by adaremoon

I know that one thing I noticed I do is when I'm driving and suddenly I reach a point and can't remember how I got there. For example...I will not remember the two mile travel between point A and point B. I also "space out" a lot and I don't know or remember what's going on around me and it takes me peers forever to get my attention.

I can't offer a diagnosis. I can say that it'd be good for you to see a doctor about your concerns.

It is relatively common to dissociate while driving, even for people who have no official dissociative diagnosis. Spacing out, is also relatively common and seen in other illnesses like ADHD, for example. Keep in mind, you have listed dissociative symptoms but I'm not certain how likely they are to be attributed to DID, specifically.

[adaremoon]

Thanks. That helps a lot.

Another question off topic...is professional therapy usually expensive? I've never tried it before and I don't know how "paying" works.

[MtnTime2896]

Originally Posted by adaremoon

Thanks. That helps a lot.

Another question off topic...is professional therapy usually expensive? I've never tried it before and I don't know how "paying" works.

You're in the US, which means (if your insurance covers mental health) you can find a therapist who takes your insurance. You'd still likely have to pay the copay, but it wouldn't be nearly as expensive. If you can't utilize your insurance for whatever reason, it would likely be expensive.

Keep in mind, not all therapists are the same as each other and their opinions on certain diagnoses vary greatly between them. If you have any trauma in your past that you haven't been able to psychologically (or even physically) escape from, you want to see a trauma specialist. This is just an example that some dx require specific specialties from specific therapists.

[dlantern]

Well it is basically if you don't share a behavior that she is taking serious then she is a wimp type and accepts you unconditionally. If you all survive in this way then that is totally acceptable. I can't diagnose you either. Friend might be showing you that they can put that aside an remain friends. I would keep a journal on what you might be experiencing, in life we need cathrathic moments because your are required to be mean about something in life, right. As for the trend in music that is totally acceptable it could be a way to keep a friend in another aspect of your life.

[Loose Screw x 2]

adaremoon, when this intense mood change kicks in does your former state feel like it has been pushed aside like if you were a driver in a car and someone in the backseat suddenly trades places with you? Is the former "state of mind" aware of everything that is going on but, has no control?