go on, call me that again

we hate it when people call us by the body name when they know quite clearly who they are talking to.

it's like.. call us that again, and we'll swing for you

our protector is very much a supporter of this

she gets pretty mad and pretty violent when people can't use her name
well we all do

****ing hell

it's soooo triggering, and annoying, and just... not needed

we're seriusly thinking about changing the body name to "us", and then people arn't going to have much of a choice

in our case, the person who owns the body is rarely sceen

so it makes us mad when they are talked about when they are right in front of them

question: when is your birthday?

us: july

them: no, we mean the body's birthday

well, if you can't accept we celebrate in july..... **** you.

I am sorry you are going through that. for me there was no stress over when people called my alters the body name. you see my system was one where the abusers constantly told me to ....do not tell, this is a secret game, do not tell anyone. as a result of this abusers code if I did tell anyone I knew worse things would happen, (I would go more into detail but dont want to trigger anyone)

my point is all my alters answered to the body name too. this ensured that no one would know that they existed, which meant no one would know that the abuse was happening.

I have been this way since before I was 5 yrs old on up until all my alters integrated. so for me that meant being called by the body name was my normal, it actually felt very weird to me only after I grew up and got diagnosed with DID. after diagnosis sometimes I would become aware during a conversation with someone calling me my alters name. not weird major problem just a quick realization wow did they just call me rainy, hmm ok that was weird but its happened before more on and answer them.

also most of my alters names were names that others have given me through out my childhood.. example sunny actually got her name from a favorite uncle who said he loved my smile one day at the beach.

my point again is whether I was called the body name or the alters name it was pretty normal for me since before I was 5.

that said I do know some who after diagnosis prefer to be called their own individual names. one of my friends they "field" questions by having blanket statements ready...

using your example of birthday instead of just saying July my friend says...

well I actually have 2 birthdays, the one I was born with is this day and the day I have chosen to celebrate is in July. I think July is such a nicer month than this dont you?

this turns the conversation away from embarrassing and conflicting questions to a topic that is nice and calm for all.

suggestion maybe since you seem in your posts to have co consciousness of the others maybe you can all come up with blanket statements that will make the situations less upsetting like my friend has done with her system having more than one birthday.

We don't like that either but, since we're used to hiding what we really are around norms we are kind of used to it in a way but, what you're saying makes a lot of sense. They can call me Dan all day and when Dan is tucked away we either ignore it or look at them and just smile knowingly and think "Oh, if only you knew but, you have no idea, do you? No idea who or *what* you are dealing with." I know exactly what you mean. They don't want to believe it so they pretend it away because they can't face which ever you you are at the present. It's like someone trying to act all hard but, they wont look you in the eye like they mean it. It's also arrogant to assume that the host or original is just one messed up person whom you can call whatever you want. Maybe they do need to be bopped in the nose or mouth. Teach'em some respect.

we're from the UK, and D.I.D is not really that well known here. that's I think, some reason why this happens.

but thanks for understanding.

our system name is atlantis, and using that as an alternative name doesn't work... you can't call someone atlantis- system or not

I think what we're going to do is ban the use of names at all

when people want to talk to us they just talk to us like they are talking to a group of people... like they say hello etc, but not use a name afterwards

it's the only thing we can think of (apart from obviously changing our name)

You know, I rarely if ever call people out by their names. No idea why, but it just makes me uncomfortable. It feels way too personal or something to speak names. Oddly enough, i have no qualms with nicknames. Not sure what's up with that... anyway... It's a thing common in my system over the years. Calling people by their names is a bit uncomfy for us as a whole.

As a result, I have found it generally unnecessary to call people by their names, unless I need to do something like make a phone call to a company or something and seek out a specific person. Really though, most people have cell phones so it's not like I even need to ask if someone is home if I call a friend. If I walk up to a person to say hi, I am speaking directly to them, so they don't need me to say their name, a hello is more than sufficient. They know I'm talking to them if I face them and engage them, make appropriate eye contact, so on. If you call out 'hey' in a crowd, people look and all you have to do is wave at someone and assuming they know you, they will recognize you and be aware you are looking right at them... names... completely unnecessary, imho.

If it's a triggery thing for you, why not drop the name thing entirely. I say go for it. I mean, you have the right to speak up for yourself and implement safety measures and self care precautions and the people in your life damn well ought to respect that and act accordingly.

Curious to, why not Atlantis? I think it's a fine name. But I might have a bias here given I am part of a system with a name as well, you know so of course I would wholeheartedly encourage that. If I could pawn disaster squad clean up crew off as a name I totally would. But I think that one is a little too weird even for me.

-Avery

perhaps so.

why not atlantis

looking it from a diffrent point of view, look at what celebrities call their kids these days

their must be worse names than atlantis out their for kids

well, their is

northwest?

I swear he called his kid north

so yeah..... hmm, maybe

it's just frustrating

like if natalie is talking and the person uses the body name.

drives us mad

what is your system called?

This group of us is called 'Disaster Squad Clean up Crew', totally not a name, more like a title. Heh, but it is what we are, so you know, it works.

But yeah, it seems there is no rule book for names anymore. I read an article some time ago about a couple who wouldn't name their kids so they could choose their own as they grew and developed into people, so they named their kids 'E' and 'Yo' in the meantime, because they understood they would have to be called something as children if for no other reason, than for social security cards and birth certificates. People get all kinds of creative, and I really do think Atlantis sounds like a fine name anyway, it might not be commonplace, but I don't think it sounds too out there either. Besides, it has an almost melodic quality to it, to me, and that scores high on my likability meter.

Yeah, I get it how that must be frustrating (to say the least) to you and yours, being called out like that. The last group of us, we had a protector who would also get really upset by people calling her the body's name. Our original is long gone as well so none of us really identify to the body's name... just some of us don't get violent or set off by it, others have though... I mean, I understand as much as I can. It used to be a thing for us, it would also cause some internal upset, to say the least.... so you had one of us trying to keep herself in check and not play capt. smack a ***** while littles would freak.. and yeah, not fun. Really though, if these are people who know you, they really should respect that. I'm sorry that they aren't and I hope they can come around and act right.

-Avery

do you have a link to the artickle?

we wanna see that for ourselves

of course we believe you.. it's not that, we're just curious to read about it

I do not. It was in a magazine proper. I think it was The Sun (some mostly poetry/documentary or hippy type magazine I used to get), but psychology today wrote something up about them as well it seems so here's that one... apparently those kids have some records and have been discussed in a few places.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/arti...ising-e-and-yo

that one still talks about the intent behind naming E why they did, and how they let Yo add names or they did, or both... but it's different than the one the Sun (or whatever) did and that one didn't pop up for me. But a few others do, but yeah the focus doesn't seem to be just on letting kids name themselves as I recall it. Now I wonder if I'm just getting it mixed up with something else or if each article just has a different focus or what.

-Avery

Just as I suspected. It makes sense now. This is why we hide ourselves from the rest of the world. Someone didn't want us to tell.
The Pathetic fool. I just wish I knew who it was so we could make them pay. Dan would want to forgive them but, not me. Not my way. Yes. DH is right to a point. I would want to confront them, look inside of them through their eyes. Eyes don't usually lie even when they try to. I would want to know what happened to them to make them that way. I would want them to open up to me. Afterword ones I had comforted them I would be like "You know that you hurt me, right?" "You hurt me really bad. It's a miracle that we carry on. But, I'm not going to hate you for it. I'm taking back the power now. You made us feel powerless for a very long time but, no more. It's over. I'm going to spare you. Never do this again. Not ever. Not to anyone." Other things would be said too but, that's enough for now.

We are called the D-Collective. BTW, 'Antlantis' is a lovely name. I don't know why really. It just is. It sounds like the name of a compassionate protector. Someone who watches over the weak and defends them from harm. From all harm.

thanks for the link.

it's interesting..