[just2b]

I dont mean the light usual stuff that it can cause like forgetfulness, type stuff. i am talking more like friendships, relationships, losing kids, losing a job, a marriage and other major happenings?

just want to hear that i am not alone.

thanks

[Amyjay]

Yes yes and more yes. It has negatively affected every aspect of my life. Last t session I told my t my life as a wasteland. Because it is. It is a wasteland of failed education, failed jobs, failed parenting and failed relationships.
I have not been able to complete several educational diplomas (that cost me several thousand dollars to end up with nothing.)
While I haven't lost custody of my children they have suffered greatly and have psychological problems I hope they will be able to address at some point. (I tell them all the time it is not their fault).
What "relationships" another part of me has managed to have have been been very brief and spectacular failures.
On my last birthday the only person who wished me a happy birthday was my primary abuser.
I have lost all my friendships because I was viewed as a liar. Because different parts of me have different truths.
I am managing to keep my current job. There is that.

On the surface I appear to be high functioning. But scratch below that thin surface and there is nothing there.
You are not alone.

[just2b]

Thanks for your reply. I certainly can relate. The saying is Time will heal. but i feel that is total bs as time will just be more time and distance. Under the surface and above the surface they are always different not sure i would ever say i am high functioning or functioning at all its just very very inconsistent.

[kelsiepulvermach]

I have PTSD from a very abusive past relationship. After that, a few different guys that I hit it off with eventually ran away because, every time someone raises a hand, even if it's just him or her "talking with their hands", I shield myself and go into a kind of trance, and I'll say "Don't hit me, please don't hit me".

[Patagonia]

Originally Posted by Amyjay

On the surface I appear to be high functioning. But scratch below that thin surface and there is nothing there.

You are not alone.

Yes I appear to be high functioning & sometimes I can fool myself into thinking I got my shyte together...even for yrs.
Then I realize I can’t trust myself & I question every decision I’ve made, even the ones I was sure about.
Constantly second guessing everything just has me walking in circles talking to myself for a very long time.

[FallDuskTrain]

People left me because of my PTSD.
They couldn’t handle my sensitive nature. I have no close and/or stable friends. I have been completely single for more than a decade.
I have had conflicts with people at work and I have been trying best to address the issue and take responsibility.

[ACrystalGem]

Originally Posted by just2b

I dont mean the light usual stuff that it can cause like forgetfulness, type stuff. i am talking more like friendships, relationships, losing kids, losing a job, a marriage and other major happenings?

just want to hear that i am not alone.

thanks

I feel like I have ammunition that can be used against me by mean people. I feel a load of new stigma, which most of my other diagnosis' doesn't have. I'm especially scared about what will happen when I start applying for jobs again, as I've got a lot going against me (according to others).

BUT...

I'm so glad my diagnosis gave me the chance to find my great alters, who I can't imagine being without now. Lizzie, Forest Jacq, Larry, Munro and Shadoe are the very best thing to come out of this.

[Michael W. Harris]

Before I knew that I had a dissociative disorder or any mental illness for that part, I struggled to persevere. (Got that word from "The Outlaw Josey Wales" movie. The books are totally different from the movie.) During college I now know that I was switching personalities periodically. I now have some memories of some of the times that I switched. Back in those days I just considered myself to be a social nerd. That is how I rationalized my failed social life. I had no close male friends and my relationships with women never seemed to work out. I got two Bachelor Degrees and during that time made no close or bonding relationships.

I now know that it is because I was switching personalities. People just think you are a flake, an asshole, etc. But they never discuss these issues with you so you could find out that you are doing and saying things that you do not remember!

My life did not totally go down the tubes until I realized that I had multiple personality disorder and could not find a mental health professional to help me. I was trying to work and find help at the same time. I also had to deal with the crazy family members who traumatized me enough to cause the mental illness. I loved them so I could not shut them out of my life. My Mom had no one else to call her. I just eventually cracked up.