[StuffandThat]

I've made an account here to share my, what was coherent thoughts on my experiences and hoping others here would have similar thoughts and experiences.

Im thinking it maybe I have DID or NOSDD, But worried that I'm biased, but worried about sharing with my therapist. She nice enough, she's never said anything I really didn't like personally. But I'm not comfortable with her, I'm not comfortable with anyone, not comfortable with myself.. And I'm not comfortable with the idea that she might understand me more than me.
Soon enough I know I'll be convincing myself that I'm fine and I don't need to she her anymore... Which is bull, I'm defiantly messed up.

Today I tried my best to keep my floaty distracted head in the room. my therapist asked what helps to ground me and I couldn't think or speak... I was freaking the hell out on the inside but on the out I just looked stupid.

My thoughts get high jacked. Like in session I'll have a train of thought and I'll be present in the room.. Then all my thoughts will go like a thread being pulled out my brain or sometimes all at once.. and dissociated.. but inside I'm freaking out...
In sessions I have foggy voices in my head that reply to my therapist, but not out loud. But I'm not really aware of them until I leave.

The things I thought id write are not the things I have written, I can't remember what they were. Although im sure they were more precise...

[StuffandThat]

Oh just remembered some I think, I'll give it another try anyway...

So when I started seeing my therapist in roughly July I mentioned I had awareness of DID from searching on the internet looking for what was wrong with me, and how I was annoyed that a counsellor I had for a bit previously had lied that she'd never heard of it.. My current counsellor agreed it was daft and we agreed to be open and honest.. As its obvs important to me.

So, like I feel somethings that happen during session is quite DID esque, she usually comments that its interesting and I just stay silent...
Im think asking for a frank discussion about because thats what feel I need but I don't know if I can actually handle it.. iykwim..

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by StuffandThat

I've made an account here to share my, what was coherent thoughts on my experiences and hoping others here would have similar thoughts and experiences.

Im thinking it maybe I have DID or NOSDD, But worried that I'm biased, but worried about sharing with my therapist. She nice enough, she's never said anything I really didn't like personally. But I'm not comfortable with her, I'm not comfortable with anyone, not comfortable with myself.. And I'm not comfortable with the idea that she might understand me more than me.
Soon enough I know I'll be convincing myself that I'm fine and I don't need to she her anymore... Which is bull, I'm defiantly messed up.

Today I tried my best to keep my floaty distracted head in the room. my therapist asked what helps to ground me and I couldn't think or speak... I was freaking the hell out on the inside but on the out I just looked stupid.

My thoughts get high jacked. Like in session I'll have a train of thought and I'll be present in the room.. Then all my thoughts will go like a thread being pulled out my brain or sometimes all at once.. and dissociated.. but inside I'm freaking out...
In sessions I have foggy voices in my head that reply to my therapist, but not out loud. But I'm not really aware of them until I leave.

The things I thought id write are not the things I have written, I can't remember what they were. Although im sure they were more precise...

not sure what NOSDD is because the USA (where I am located) no longer have NOS disorders. do you by any chance mean OSDD? sometimes my cell phone and computer auto correct the wrong way for me. I tried googling NOSDD and could not find anything named NOSDD

anyway what you posted I go through and its called many different things in me, some dissociation and others part of my many other health issues and sometimes completely normal.
my opinion is it would be helpful for you to talk with your therapist, that way you wont have to worry anymore about which this is in you, sometimes just getting a therapist to say hey thats such and such can calm things down a bit.

I did notice in your post your therapist does talk with you about grounding. that right there says your therapist already knows you have this problem and they are helping you with it even though you have not actually told them. Maybe they are just waiting for you to say something before they actually discuss what dissociative disorders you have. please consider telling your therapist about this, maybe even print off your post and let them read it.

Don't confuse the internet with a degreed experienced therapist. Ask T what she thinks. She may not have seen you long enough to decide.Dissociation is on a long spectrum. In fact they really don't know exactly what dissociation so it bleeds over. Whatever name, really doesn't manner, the goal is to be more functioning. That you can do.

[StuffandThat]

Hello thank you for your replies. Looking around the forum I've noticed you can blank something out for triggering material.. Im not sure how to do that so I've put a bit in yellow instead, go easy.

Sorry I do mean OSDD... Im in the uk, professionals don't seem to care to much with subtypes, especially when it comes to DID and such.
My therapist is actually a counsellor I don't think she does diagnosis as such, and I'm NOT putting myself though the NHS psych system anymore.

I have a diagnosis of CPTSD.. Theres no doubt I struggle with dissociating. In the past I've been told I'm to dissociated for them to work with..
One of my counsellors 'attributes', if you like, on her site was dissociaiton. Thats why I choose her and had a conversation with her about my past experiences with pervious the counsellors early on. We've talked about triggers and dissociating, its quite obvious especially in session.
I know my googling skills and the internet is no match for a trained experienced therapist, but not sure I can trust anyone enough to let them in that much. Even if I make a decision to have a frank convo with the therapist, I don't think I can carry it out without disappearing.
Yes defiantly, the name doesn't really matter. But knowing what you're dealing with would help with the end goal. A lot.

Possible trigger:

I also get something else, don't know what the name is? Its like i'm looking at the world through a magic mirror... Im spacey, time feels like its going really slow, feel 20 feet tall, my arms feel to long, worried that people can tell somethings weird with me and feel everyones looking at me...

Ive also had night terrors and use to have day terrors.. Where I would be awake and screaming and crying, in the day terrors I apparently never actually went to sleep..

I spend massive chunks of the day intensely daydreaming, sometimes only realising until I've obvs been doing for ages. If I'm having a hard day in the world or in my mind I'm thankful of the escape into my mind. But that means important things in the real world don't get done and when I come back from my imagination I sometimes have panic attacks.

Thank you cavaliers and Amandalouise sorry I can't figure out how to quote...

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by StuffandThat

Hello thank you for your replies. Looking around the forum I've noticed you can blank something out for triggering material.. Im not sure how to do that so I've put a bit in yellow instead, go easy.

Sorry I do mean OSDD... Im in the uk, professionals don't seem to care to much with subtypes, especially when it comes to DID and such.
My therapist is actually a counsellor I don't think she does diagnosis as such, and I'm NOT putting myself though the NHS psych system anymore.

I have a diagnosis of CPTSD.. Theres no doubt I struggle with dissociating. In the past I've been told I'm to dissociated for them to work with..
One of my counsellors 'attributes', if you like, on her site was dissociaiton. Thats why I choose her and had a conversation with her about my past experiences with pervious the counsellors early on. We've talked about triggers and dissociating, its quite obvious especially in session.
I know my googling skills and the internet is no match for a trained experienced therapist, but not sure I can trust anyone enough to let them in that much. Even if I make a decision to have a frank convo with the therapist, I don't think I can carry it out without disappearing.
Yes defiantly, the name doesn't really matter. But knowing what you're dealing with would help with the end goal. A lot.

Possible trigger:

I also get something else, don't know what the name is? Its like i'm looking at the world through a magic mirror... Im spacey, time feels like its going really slow, feel 20 feet tall, my arms feel to long, worried that people can tell somethings weird with me and feel everyones looking at me...

Ive also had night terrors and use to have day terrors.. Where I would be awake and screaming and crying, in the day terrors I apparently never actually went to sleep..

I spend massive chunks of the day intensely daydreaming, sometimes only realising until I've obvs been doing for ages. If I'm having a hard day in the world or in my mind I'm thankful of the escape into my mind. But that means important things in the real world don't get done and when I come back from my imagination I sometimes have panic attacks.

Thank you cavaliers and Amandalouise sorry I can't figure out how to quote...

when you hit reply in the post you want to answer it will automatically quote it. example I clicked on reply under your post because thats the post I am replying to. the quoting automatically happened.

trigger/ blacking out triggering things in posts there is a post in the feedback forum that tells how to do it or you can ask a moderator to do it for you.

https://forums.psychcentral.com/comm...gger-code.html

thanks for clarifying your post for me on what the letters were. something I should have done at the beginning of my post to you ooops.... welcome to psych central

[StuffandThat]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

when you hit reply in the post you want to answer it will automatically quote it. example I clicked on reply under your post because thats the post I am replying to. the quoting automatically happened.

trigger/ blacking out triggering things in posts there is a post in the feedback forum that tells how to do it or you can ask a moderator to do it for you.

thanks for clarifying your post for me on what the letters were. something I should have done at the beginning of my post to you ooops.... welcome to psych central

Hello I've had a good snoop around on the board introduced myself and had a practise run of using the trigger thing and quoting..

Sorry I should of done that to begin with, sorry...

Thank you.

[kecanoe]

In my experience, professionals are slow to diagnose with DID. They like to try to fit other diagnoses first. I would expect that your counselor will want to see how things go in therapy before making a diagnosis of a dissociative disorder.

And don't worry about the posts-we're all here to learn!