[Wild Coyote]

I have a very long history of various types of dissociation which goes along with my CPTSD.

Even when my overall dissociative tendencies are decreased, I chronically have great difficulty seeing myself in the mirror.

This is chronic.

It's been brought to my attention again recently because I've had to pick out glasses. I could not see myself enough to do it, I had to rely on my DH and an optician in order to get the job done. I had to tell DH that I could not see myself in the mirror, which felt humiliating; yet, he was very understanding.

Have you heard of this?
Can you relate?

Thanks for reading.


WC

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I have a very long history of various types of dissociation which goes along with my CPTSD.

Even when my overall dissociative tendencies are decreased, I chronically have great difficulty seeing myself in the mirror.

This is chronic.

It's been brought to my attention again recently because I've had to pick out glasses. I could not see myself enough to do it, I had to rely on my DH and an optician in order to get the job done. I had to tell DH that I could not see myself in the mirror, which felt humiliating; yet, he was very understanding.

Have you heard of this?
Can you relate?

Thanks for reading.


WC

in me this is called by many things depending upon what the trigger is or what the root problem is...

mirror mis identification disorder, Prosopagnosia (face blindness), vision impairments (which I have been told is common for people who need glasses / contacts when I thought the problem was related to my dissociative problems)

in me when it was called part of my dissociative problems it was a situation where I would get triggered by something that would cause me to have my dissociative symptoms of being numb, spaced out and then switch into an alter. then the alter would be looking in a mirror and they would see my body but .....feel like ..... my body image wasnt what they felt their body image was. in other words remaining in touch with the reality of what my body looked like but feeling like my body did not fit who and what they were...

example Rainy always talked about having blond hair but when she looked in the mirror and saw my brown hair, she knew that was the bodies hair but ....felt.... that brown hair was not what she looked like, she felt like she had blond hair. what does blond hair feel like I have no idea but she felt like the image in the mirror should have been how she perceived herself not the body image. a feeling kind of thing while staying in touch with the reality kind of thing.

when it was me that got triggered by something and while feeling dissociated (numb and spaced out) and I looked in the mirror I would see me but it was a ......feeling.... that I looked far away, kind of vague, spacy no emotion'ed look to my face, sort of like a doll would look. but yet staying in touch with the reality that it wasnt a doll in the mirror, though I felt I didnt have any connection to that emotionless image I knew it was me.

when at the optometrist I too have to have help with picking out my glasses (which is why I prefer contacts ) this is because my vision is so bad due to my MS disease that I can not see my self in a mirror, just a colored blurry blob. especially after they have blown air into my eyes and have dilated them for the glaucoma / cataract/ look at the back of the eye tests.

my suggestion if this continues to bother you, contact your treatment provider, maybe you can discover what the trigger/ root problem is behind why this his happening to you at the optometrists. maybe even have someone who knows you get triggered into dissociating at the optometrists can go with you next time to help you to stay more grounded and be able to pick out your new glasses on your own. (my therapist went with me a few times when some of the tests and a new optometrist was triggering me into my dissociation problems. she was able to sit with me and hold my hand through out the exams, by doing this we discovered what exactly was the trigger behind the dissociating at the "eye doctors" problem. after we knew why we were able to find ways so that I no longer dissociated at the "eye doctors"

[Wild Coyote]

Thank you Amandalouise! I truly appreciate your lengthy explanation/sharing of your experiences.

This is an issue I encounter everyday. Sometimes, I can see my image a bit better than other times. It's not a true "vision" problem for me.

When I can see more features, I often feel like I am looking at a stranger.

Heightened anxiety seems to make it all more distant/strange.
Just wondered if others have experienced this or similar phenomenon.

I will mention this to my pdoc soon.


WC

[Amyjay]

I haven't had the experience of looking into the mirror and not being able to see the reflected image but many many many times I have had the experience of not being able to maintain looking at the reflection because it was too disturbing to see the body reflected there instead of the internal image of self. So I can see.... but I can't look. I'm not sure if that is what you experienced since you said you couldn't see.
I definitely attribute my inability to look (when it happens, it isn't all the time) to my dissociation.

[Wild Coyote]

Thanks for sharing Amyjay.

It's more like there is a grayish splotchy veil (or fog) between my image and the mirror.
I can look. I can stare. I cannot see. What little is revealed to me at times, looks "strange," sometimes distorted to me.

Some days are "more "foggy" than others.


WC

[toomanycats]

I feel like the weird one - when I look in the mirror, I can't stop staring. Seriously, I will just sit there and stare and lose track of time.

[L.P.]

Fog? I have not had that happen to me. I just have no idea if I really look the same as what I am seeing in the mirror. *shrugs* Whatever the case may be with you, I hope you can get it figured out soon. Wishing you well.

-Avery

[Nean333]

Thank you for sharing. I've been recently diagnosed with dissociative disorder. It is very hard for me to look in the mirror myself. It's almost as if I'm not looking through my own eyes. When I do see clearly I can't believe how much older I am. Where did time go?

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I have a very long history of various types of dissociation which goes along with my CPTSD.

Even when my overall dissociative tendencies are decreased, I chronically have great difficulty seeing myself in the mirror.

This is chronic.

It's been brought to my attention again recently because I've had to pick out glasses. I could not see myself enough to do it, I had to rely on my DH and an optician in order to get the job done. I had to tell DH that I could not see myself in the mirror, which felt humiliating; yet, he was very understanding.

Have you heard of this?
Can you relate?

Thanks for reading.


WC