[Loose Screw x 2]

One is disgusted with humans...again. Why are humans so cruel and quick to judge? Why is that? What has one and other ones done to be treated as though we do not exist?
Certainly we are not like the designated one as his thought proccesses are different from ours. It makes no sense. If we are not individuals then, what the Hell are we?! Is it a dream? Are we part of someone's fantasy? Do we truly exist on any level? This is very confusing and hurtful. For it to be suggested "You are not real. Someone just thinks that you are." What about DH who takes full control at times and no one can override that control and he has to go away on his own. What about being in the back of the mind and seeing and hearing everything that is happening but, having no motor control? What is that called? What about traumatic memories of being outside one's body and seeing everything unfold as though you are a witness in the room? This is very confusing and makes no sense. We must find that video of the DID sufferer who is like us. Maybe that will help others to understand? Maybe not. You humans are so closed minded in our perception. You humans with your documents that constantly have to be updated because you can't make up your minds or discovered that you were wrong about things and had to make changes. Fools.

[Colour of Madness]

I read in our journal the other day a rather sarcastic post by one of the three of us who co- hosts (for want of a better term), where she was slightly annoyed at being called an 'alter' and said "Oh so you're saying I'm the clone, well I think YOU are!" and I guess it kinda summed it all up in a way. I don't feel 'real' here in this moment perhaps but still disconnected like I know its not my life I'm living,I'm just borrowing it. She doesn't feel 'real'either so who is real? The one who is the original is rarely around anymore so does she still get to claim that right? She doesn't seem to want it. *sigh* sorry. I'm ranting.
-Suzi

Originally Posted by Colour of Madness

I read in our journal the other day a rather sarcastic post by one of the three of us who co- hosts (for want of a better term), where she was slightly annoyed at being called an 'alter' and said "Oh so you're saying I'm the clone, well I think YOU are!" and I guess it kinda summed it all up in a way. I don't feel 'real' here in this moment perhaps but still disconnected like I know its not my life I'm living,I'm just borrowing it. She doesn't feel 'real'either so who is real? The one who is the original is rarely around anymore so does she still get to claim that right? She doesn't seem to want it. *sigh* sorry. I'm ranting.
-Suzi

In our world....we are a shattered mind like a broken mirror that is 100’x100’. We are learning that we are all just parts of parts of parts.....

It’s humbling to know one’s place. We just wish we were one....but we as our individual selves have a purpose of being....a job to do for the greater good of this life system.

I hope you all get peace...one can be in co-operation over getting integrated.

Originally Posted by Colour of Madness

I read in our journal the other day a rather sarcastic post by one of the three of us who co- hosts (for want of a better term), where she was slightly annoyed at being called an 'alter' and said "Oh so you're saying I'm the clone, well I think YOU are!" and I guess it kinda summed it all up in a way. I don't feel 'real' here in this moment perhaps but still disconnected like I know its not my life I'm living,I'm just borrowing it. She doesn't feel 'real'either so who is real? The one who is the original is rarely around anymore so does she still get to claim that right? She doesn't seem to want it. *sigh* sorry. I'm ranting.
-Suzi

Well, each one of us thinks that we each are the original and the Other is an alter....truth being....we are all alters with alter meaning alternate state of consciousness.

In our system, we are so shattered and fragmented into splinters that there is no sense of a main.

So, as an exercise, we all must acknowledge that we are all alters, all parts of a whole if integrated.

Trust me, they feel just as hurt about being a multiple as you do, some better some worse...she has her own feelings and opinions that you are not privy to because of amnesia.

Best is to get to a level of understanding of we are all in the same boat together and try to get along. Being civil goes along way...you aren’t going to be friends with everyone in the same room....but you can be civil about it. .

[YoucancallmeFlower]

There have been those dark days for me, as well. Those struggles for
control that seem futile and endless. I don't listen to people anymore
who have never experienced this life. I don't care how many degrees
they have--if they have never known the violence, the pain, humiliation,
self loathing and self doubt...they will never be more than an outsider
looking in. NO ONE has the right to judge you, my dears.
You should have seen their faces when I told them my worst alter made
me drink fingernail polish remover. I spit it out. Did one of those instant
shifts back to core that saved my life. She's been doing things like that
my whole life. She was the one who took me for two years.
I am finally in a place of relative peace, but work hard to keep it all in
balance. Meds, sleep, nutrition, no alcohol or street drugs and being mindful. (The old DBT tapes.)
I pray you will find your way, my fellow passengers and that you will
not suffer any longer.
Love, Flower