Back to normal routine.

I have been back at the Jenkin's Veterans' Domiciliary for a year now after a year sojourn in Athens, Georgia. My dissociative disorder has pretty much returned to the status that I grew up with: I do not know when my alters come out. I have no memory of when they come out. Nobody here knows anything about this mental illness. They would not know if I switched personalities or not. So I have no closure but ignorance is sometimes bliss.

I will never leave this facility unless they kick me out. I does not really matter if I switch personalities or not. I will never have a normal life. I will never have any loved ones/intimates. That was the whole reason that I sought therapy in the first place! I wanted to have a wife and a career!!!! Now it does not matter.

Except....episodically I want to kill everyone on the planet from anger over my wasted life. I visualize Zombies eating psychologists, and psychiatrists, little brains out! (I also visualize them eating the writers of zombie movies brains out!)

Are you staying in some kind of mental institution? I'm not sure what the Jenkin's Veterans' Domicilliary is. I'm sorry that you feel like no one is helping you.

It is a veterans assisted living facility. It is located a couple of blocks away from the VA Clinic here in Lake City.

We have about seven communal computers here. If you ever want to see something funny you should see these old men find out about internet porn! They get addicted. The staff constantly has to scold them not to look at porn. You will see a 90 year old man looking at teen porn! You know they do not have any sex drive. It is all about voyeurism.

The other group of old men get addicted to all the internet games.

The problem is that most of us are poor so these old men cannot pay anything. Everyone of these computers are infected with malware. They even hacked my ancestry.com account. When I pulled up the area where you search for files on a relative, they had put all these pictures of internet games in there. I was impressed.