how do you all cope with forgetting large portions of your life (have you ever experienced it?)

things like:

you believe you're living somewhere with people you don't like, and that you are in danger, but the reality is you're not, you've moved on since then and you are safe

it's scary stuff

[Amyjay]

I have experienced something like that on occasion, I think when I have been co-conscious with another part, like a trauma part who is still living in trauma time. Once an abusive family member had threatened to come over and I was waiting for him. I was very confused when he arrived, because I had been expecting the man he looked like when we were a child and he was much older.
Sometimes I have been confused about where I am, what city I am in, thinking I am living in a place from a different time of our life. Sometimes when I am in bed I think I am in the childhood bed and get very disoriented about time and place. Sometimes in therapy when someone walks down the hallway I think the footsteps belong to our father, coming down the hallway to our bedroom.

Mostly I think other parts of me experience this more than "I" do. As I said I am only aware of it when I am co-conscious with them. I think they themselves are afraid of trauma things being current more than "I" am.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

how do you all cope with forgetting large portions of your life (have you ever experienced it?)

things like:

you believe you're living somewhere with people you don't like, and that you are in danger, but the reality is you're not, you've moved on since then and you are safe

it's scary stuff

first your question....I never had to cope with forgetting large portions of my life. put simply forgetting was my normal. as a person with DID it was just my normal to have parts of my life "forgotten" or in psych terms dissociated. then after integration everything that was my alters became me, so again I didnt have to cope with forgetting beyond the normal standards because all the alters memories became mine again.

now that Im integrated I do have to say my memory on a normal standard has changed. example before I was integrated an alter would remember where I put something, go get it and everything was fine. after integration it is frustrating at times to not be able to find something right away.

I have had to learn that no one in this world has a perfect Utopian memory where they remember every important and unimportant part of their lives and daily living.

what helped me in this was taking a class on how the brain functions (physical parts of the brain, brain waves, how it stores and discards memories, the 5 senses and so on)

maybe you can ask inside to your alters to find out what those memories are and also take a class or visit your local library and do some research on how the brain works with storing memories.

the second part of your post my own treatment providers called believing in something that isnt real (ie that its the past) PTSD or psychosis (hallucinations / delusional belief) depending upon other accompanying symptoms/ problems. it was called dissociative in me only when another alter was in control, who was stuck in the past time frame and event that happened to them, every single time one of my alters was in control they reacted, behaved, thoughts, ... everything that made them who and what they were was as if the same event was happening, that it was the same year, same clothing, hair styles everything was the same. it wasnt something that just happened once. it was every time.

example Beth (not actual alters name due to profanity filter) was my alter who was stuck in time. her sense of agency was to deal with one set of problems (wont post exact problem due to possible trigger for others), everything she was, said and did was that day, that fear, being hyper vigilant, keep us safe at all costs. every single time beth was in control she would run off somewhere, trying to find that safe place, safe people and never being able to find it/ them.

my treatment provider and I took the approach that she was there for a reason and she was doing what ever her sense of agency was. Since she was one stuck in time we knew she was not the type of alter that could learn, grow, evolve. If she happened to come out / take control during therapy my therapist took time to offer any comforts she would be willing to accept and waited her out,

eventually another alter or I stopped dissociating so that my therapist and I or another alter could talk about what triggered Beth to take control. then we worked on ways that we could be less triggered in case it happened again (here where I am when one dissociates its a reaction to something just like getting angry is the reaction to someone doing or saying something you dont like. )

my point if this is a dissociative problem for you maybe you can work with a mental health treatment provider that can help you to find the trigger so that you or your alters dont have to feel like its still the past.

in me when the problem was not dissociative we did medication adjustments that would help me to not have my delusional belief that it was still the past. the meds also helped with the PTSD problem when it was that too.

I seldom have alters that are “living the moment” present....but I’ll have dissociative moments and flashbacks to that time period forgetting all things present momentarily.

But presently, to forget is normalcy for me. Anything a few hours old fades off into the darkness. Sometimes it feels like I’m walking through life holding a burning candle for light and everything that is available to me is limited by the amount of light lit by the burning candle.

It is frustrating enough...if it weren’t for the fragmented mind...I’d swear I’d almost have near a photographic memory....But it’s all in bits.

[Fuzzybear]

I wish you luck with the “treatment providers” in this forest. IMO they are full of bull...

They “should” have some answers but they don’t..

And why do they have such a limited vocabulary

[Wild Coyote]

I am definitely challenged, at times, by dissociation. Fortunately, it seems to be less often.

thinking of you.

WC

[ShadowSoldier]

I don't really forget big parts of my life but I forget why something significant is no longer important to me anymore.

Like I could wake up one morning and all the things that interested me for the past ten years just feel like a dream and that's pretty weird.

Something that traumatised me for weeks just all of a sudden stopped like as if a door closed on it. I can remember it all but it's like it happened to someone else and I'm completely detached from it.

It's nice in a way because the trauma's gone and I can move on but my behaviour during this phase isn't forgotten by other people but I can't feel guilty because it's like it wasn't even me.

I've never spoke about any of this before so I hope it makes sense.

[Michael W. Harris]

Having a dissociative disorder, especially MPD/DID, is like having extreme attention-deficit disorder. I have learned that my whole attitude, emotions, beliefs, etc. can simply change because I switched into these other states, personalities, etc. Switching can cause me not to love a significant other as much as I originally did. It can cause me to not be interested in something, like a job, as much as I originally did. It causes my whole outlook to change. It is the switching and the emotional instability that causes me to not be able to have intimate relationships. I hate it. There is no emotional stability.