[plplmcknz]

Hey,

I feel a bit awkward and like this specific dissociation issue is rather trivial and a lot less bad than other people have it but here goes.
I have all sorts of mental health issues (PTSD, BPD, Bipolar etc) Currently about to start therapy again to try and pin point more specifically what I suffer from.

The most recent diagnosis has been dissociation. No further than that for now. I dissociate in all sorts of settings, at uni, at home, at work etc. As soon as things get too overwhelming I zone out, which I don't actually mind too much, it helps me cope.

I have started dating this lovely person, and the dissociation is at its worse when we spend time together. Like she doesn't feel real. I literally just got back from having dinner together and it feels like a dream. Like it never really happened.
I think my brain is trying to make this unreal so I don't attach myself and get hurt again (attachment and abandon issues).
It makes me ever so sad. This relationship looks like it could be something nice and healthy. And my brain won't let me have it.
Has anyone experienced something similar/managed to get out of it?

[Amyjay]

Hi there. We decided not to get into another relationship until we have got the dissociative disorder under control. Our goal is to be authentic and we just don't feel able to be authentic when we can't "stay" and keep losing time and what not. We need to heal us first.

It has happened for us in the past that one or two parts have gone out on their own and had relationships and we don't want to do that again. This kind of decision isn't for everyone I suppose but it is what we need to do for us.

Maybe after time and being together, the anxiety will melt away and you get grounded. Sounds like a real nice girl.