[Shattered007]

Hello, it’s been awhile since I posted. Does anyone
else have difficulty getting their others to front in therapy?!?
My T gets emails from the system, as most are more
comfortable this way. Myself and one other have
been out. The rest feel safer with messaging. My
T thinks it would be best if they could talk one on
one. I haven’t a problem, but their not comfortable
they don’t feel safe. I’m sorry if this seems all over
the place. Any suggestions would be appreciated..

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Shattered007

Hello, it’s been awhile since I posted. Does anyone
else have difficulty getting their others to front in therapy?!?
My T gets emails from the system, as most are more
comfortable this way. Myself and one other have
been out. The rest feel safer with messaging. My
T thinks it would be best if they could talk one on
one. I haven’t a problem, but their not comfortable
they don’t feel safe. I’m sorry if this seems all over
the place. Any suggestions would be appreciated..

no I never had a problem with my alters coming out during therapy. they did it all on their own. you see my DID was because I was horribly abused before I was 5 years old. my alters were coming out all on their own since before I was 5 based on when I would dissociate due to a trigger...

example Rainy would take control when I was dissociated (feeling numb, spaced out and disconnected ) do to my being triggered by a thunder storm. if I happened to be in therapy during wet rainy weather rainy would be the one in therapy.

Thelma was my sexualized alter which meant any time I dissociated (felt numb, spaced out, disconnected due to talking about my sex life with my therapist then thelma would be the one in control

Red was may alter of anger any time I felt numb spaced out and disconnected because I was feeling angry Red would be the one in therapy...

in other words therapy is for discussing those things that I could not handle on my own, as a natural result of this my alters would naturally take control to do their sense of agency of handling things I could not.

its actually a good thing when alters dont come out during therapy, it means you are strong enough to handle the discussions all on your own with out being so triggered that you dissociate into being your alters.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're struggling, Shattered007 I feel like this is something you need to work with your therapist. Do you have any idea why they don't feel safe while in therapy? Perhaps you could start from there. I'm sorry, I wish I had more advice to give you. Please don't give up. I hope you'll feel better soon and that everything will go well. Just try your best and hopefully things will improve. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this

[MtnTime2896]

Baring your soul to a stranger is difficult for some. You may trust your T, but maybe they aren't at that point yet. Do you think if it could be about a light subject the first few one-on-one's they could trust your T enough for that? Keep it light at first and allow the others to ask questions (keeping the ball in their court), until they become comfortable in therapy. And be patient. It took me six months to finally open up to my T. It took over a year for one of the others to become comfortable enough to talk to him, too. I still have several alters who refuse to talk in therapy but I figure they will be up for it in their own time.

Originally Posted by Shattered007

Hello, it’s been awhile since I posted. Does anyone
else have difficulty getting their others to front in therapy?!?
My T gets emails from the system, as most are more
comfortable this way. Myself and one other have
been out. The rest feel safer with messaging. My
T thinks it would be best if they could talk one on
one. I haven’t a problem, but their not comfortable
they don’t feel safe. I’m sorry if this seems all over
the place. Any suggestions would be appreciated..

I’m just like you or them....trust is earned and not issued on whim. I say give it time for trust to develop between your T and them....there is nothing that you can say of do, it’s a one on one basis per part. When they feel ready...they may front.....or not, It’s their choice....but all hope is not lost.....

I have parts that feel safer not fronting for no reason whatsoever except to stay away from the outside...I can’t fault them for that. But at their comfort level...they will decide what they want to do. You can give words of encouragement, but ultimately they will decide when most likely.

[Shattered007]

Thank you so much everyone for the advice.

Originally Posted by Shattered007

Hello, it’s been awhile since I posted. Does anyone
else have difficulty getting their others to front in therapy?!?.

Yes, we did & still do sometimes. Now we ask ours every morning of therapy what we need to talk about that session, who needs to talk about it, & what they need to help them talk. Some need to come before session & maybe even be the one that drives. Others can't stand the lobby wait. A couple even need reassurance they are not imposing on T. Need to feel T willing to talk to them & can't stay for more than apprx. 15 minutes. At first our T just invited some to come look around. Next he asked their name. Then if they had any questions. Pretty soon they were talking!