[rise13eyond]

Excuse me but I need to scream. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I feel like the way is being paved to a big crash. The relationship between myself and my stepdad has been generally strained for a while despite from what I gather it had been fine throughout most of my life. I've never not known him he married my mom when I was a year old. Small issues here and there that put more weight on a relationship that I guess isn't quite there as much as you'd think it's be. He seems to get irritated with me a lot more these days. He hasn't known about the DID for very long. Honestly I'm not sure whether telling him made things better or worse. I picked up things and suspected things on my own but it really just got confirmed. It frustrates HIM. He doesn't know a lot about it and frankly isn't sure he believes it's a thing at all. At this point he thinks my mom acknowledging any specific alter is simply being an enabler. know much of what any of the others think of him, I'm under the impression that our little one is scared of him, and one of the fictives is wary of him as well for certain character memories (not sure what term to use here, they're not real memories they're ones he has of things that happened to the character within the world he's from). Stepdad's a grumpy person overall due to physical health issues, but of course those are physical, he get's a get out of jail free card for that. I mean...egh I hadn't intended to get into this or give detail on any of the other things that's an issue, but I guess I'll say it anyway. So basically he acts like it's perfectly fine for him to get irritated and yell at other people, yet no one else is allowed to so much as have a slightly different opinion than him. You know, he wont respect anyone that doesn't first respect him, the whole give respect to get it except in this case where everyone owes it to him but he get's to pick and choose who he respects (he's an extremely blatant transphobe and homophobe which applies to me so yay). That alone is infuriating. Yet now the DID only serves to make things worse. He's never been particularly sensitive to any of my mental health issues despite having dealt with depression himself, but the DID just breaks whatever bridge might have been between us. He's not even going to acknowledge any alter, in fact he doesn't want ANYONE bringing them up when he's around. As far as he's concerned I'm doing this just for attention. Actually yes. My mom this evening told me he said something similar to that. This all and I don't think he really wants me around, no one's outright said that but I've been picking up things here and there that have led me to believe he thinks I'm a freeloader and he doesn't like that.
All this under the guise of oh he just doesn't understand what it is and he's got problems so give him a break. At this point I want to say NO ]#$%^& way, I'm sick of this and if he's going to be an *** about it then I just want to pack it up and move far away, because after all this time if he hasn't let up yet he's not going to. It would be easier for everyone if we didn't live together because the relationship has clearly become toxic for both of us, to the point where hey, maybe time apart would clear things up a bit.
I mean I considered moving out, just getting a cheap apartment in town with the help of my mental health team. I mean that has a lot of it's own problems, but the only one relevant to this topic is that while some of us would like our own place, some of us, particularly Kevin and Kitty, don't want to leave my mom. I mean even though they're 5 and 12 they're still capable of doing any basic things I can (IE laundry, making food, getting to appointments on time), still they're both very attached to my mom and don't want to be alone, particularly over night.
Not all of this has been explicitly stated, like I said there have been some things I've picked up on from more of hints, and some that's been relayed through my mom, who as he puts it is too nice to tell me the truth. It's beyond frustrating and I'm not particularly good at coming up with a really good solution. So far my solution has been to smile, follow orders, and keep my mouth shut, and then avoid a lot of interactions. But considering he is known for his anger and blowing up at people when he feels his authority challenged it just really feels like some kind of huge confrontation is on it's way and it's terrifying, not just for me but for all of us particularly those of us who are really sensitive. And heaven forbid something come up between he and the more aggressive personalities.

[Amyjay]

That sounds like tough stuff to deal with. i have never had to contend with that kind of family stuff. The only thing I can offer that might be helpful to you is my experience of "talking through" to younger ones (thinking about your Kevin and Kitty) to let them know they are not alone and never need be alone again because you can be there for them. It really helps our younger parts when they know we more capable ones have their backs. Maybe talking through to them and letting them know you will always take care of them and be there for them will help them not fret so much about you all leaving home.
Take care.

Sorry...I really don’t know what to say. I bailed on my situation as soon as I could like 18-19. I survived. Even though getting through life without direction ....I happened to still be at it at 51.

The only thing that was important was to always stay working.

The relief from the grief though was well worth the escape. I’d rather go hungry then let a soul sucking vampire feed on my sanity thank-you.

Good luck and we hope it gets better for you.

[Fuzzybear]