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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,740
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#1
So I kept a journal of my chatter over the past three days per my therapist request. This is just from today.
1) I dont want go be touched like that 2) I dont want to die 3) I dont want you to stick your finger there 4) I do want to die 5) We were m******* like 5 times 6) I wonder how Ms. I is (when I could have cared less) 7) I dont want to be stabbed in the stomach And other random nonsense. Why is this happening to me? |
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MickeyCheeky, MtnTime2896
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MickeyCheeky
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Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: 8CS / NYS / USA
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#2
Quote:
What I can tell you is that when I hear these kinds of vices my treatment providers call it normal.... here where I live its normal for people to be thinking each one of these things depending upon the situation. when its not a completely normal situation then my treatment providers call it psychosis with my bipolar disorder. why because of reality testing. ... 1 is there someone right now during that thought trying to touch me in the wrong way... nope. 2. am I suicidal when I am thinking about dying if so then its my depression if not then its having delusional thoughts in me. 3. is there someone (a friend or family member) and I standing talking doing a project, cooking or otherwise needing the other person to put their finger some place? if so its normal if not its having delusional thoughts. 4. am I suicidal if not then its a delusional thought if I am its being depressed and suicidal. 5. was I really M******* 5 times if so where is the proof (memory of it and such 5 is a very specific number so there has to be witnesses or proof of some kind, most people who have been abused dont count how many times they are abused. they are thinking of getting away not counting how many times, my own therapist would be asking me what was so significant about those times that made me remember it was 5 times and if I could remember it was 5 times why couldnt I remember anything else, dissociative amnesia is a special kind of forgetfulness where a person has no memory of anything before, during or right after the abuse so if this was me my treatment provider would want to know what was so significant about the number 5 and why if I had dissociative amnesia I could have voices telling me it was 5 times. 6.why am I wondering if I could careless. care less means not wondering at all, dont have an opinion or thought or verbalizing it in any way. 7 is someone right now threatening to stab me in the stomach, if not its a delusion. why because if I had dissociated such a thing there would be medical reports to the fact that it actually happened. see what I mean.... with dissociation problems reality testing remains intact so look for the reality in each statement. that will tell you whether the problem is part of your dissociation problems or part of your other mental or physical problems. that said I remember reading somewhere that you have hypochondria. these kinds of thoughts to happen with a friend of mine who is a hypochondriac. with this people do have thoughts of whether they are sick, have mental or physical health problems and sometimes paranoid thoughts and voices. my suggestion do some reality testing. if you have no medical reports that you have suffered a trauma that included being stabbed, police reports that someone stabbed you and the person went to prison. then you can rest easy its not a dissociative problem. bottom line people who are stabbed may not remember the trauma but such a thing needs medical care and police reports. so its easy to verify whether this is a delusional voices or dissociative. |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
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#3
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Oh, these arent voices. They are thoughts. I do NOT hear voices. Like coming from outside myself. |
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MickeyCheeky
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amandalouise, MickeyCheeky
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Wise Elder
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Location: 8CS / NYS / USA
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#4
Quote:
now going on the fact that you are now telling me they are thoughts not chatter in the way my location calls chatter, sometimes I have thoughts like this but its not associated with my dissociation, when have thoughts like this my treatment provider calls it psychosis (having paranoia, delusions and hallucinations) with my bipolar disorder when a relative of mine has these thoughts her treatment provider calls it schizophrenia my suggestion is contact your treatment provider, they will explain to you what dissociation is, what the symptoms of dissociation are and which of your problems are because of your dissociation and which are because of your hypochondria and other disorders. another suggestion since with dissociative disorders reality remains intact you might want to post about these thoughts in the schizophrenia or bipolar or other boards that talk about having these kinds of thoughts. |
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
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#5
I'm so sorry, Dnester It seems like you're going through a lot. I'm so sorry. It must be horrible to have these thoughts. Could they be intrusive thoughts? I'd suggest to talk to your Pdoc about this and see how it goes from there. Hopefully he/she will be able to help you. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I hope you'll be able to see your therapist soon. Hopefully she will be able to help you deal with these thoughts you're having. Perhaps that's the reason she asked you to start journaling? Stay strong, Dnester. Stay safe and take care of yourself. If things get bad, call an hotline or go to an hospital and ask for help. We care about you here. We all love you here. I hope you'll feel better soon. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this
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Rive1976
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#6
[QUOTE=Dnester;6440530]Oh, these arent voices. They are thoughts. I do NOT hear voices. Like coming from outside myself.[/]
There can be a many reasons as to why these thoughts pop in. Intrusive thoughts, an itty bitty committee, emotional parts, hallucinations, esp, spiritual contact, memories,.... IMHO, voices heard outside the body would be more on the hallucination side. OSDD where emotional memory parts are speaking out. (which is what they sound like being all one sided...) My other parts speaks in their own head voice (carry on conversations and make decisions), and being of one mind....it feels like effort for them which feels like effort for me, ergo it can be confused as my thoughts. But the voices themselves are a dead give away. I can’t say what’s with you....but what’s really freaky is looking and seeing things written that you didn’t remember writing. That gets me every time. This is pretty much why I find it nerve wracking coming on here and seeing things posted on this account that I’ve no memory off posting myself. |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,740
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#7
I dont know what they are but what I can tell you is they are annoying. They are always so random. So far today I have only had one at that was "Thorne, I dont want you to get touched" Thorne is a possible alter I named 12 years ago. I have just been jotting them down like my therapist said too. On Wed. I will ask her more about it. She said journaling would help her feather out everything. She also told me when someone has alot of symptoms of various disorders a person is likely to have an attachment disorder. That was her response when I asked her how one person could have so many disorders.
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
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#8
I'm glad you're going to see your therapist soon, Dnester! Yes, definitely talk to her about this and see how it goes from there. Hopefully she will be able to help you. You could learn new ways to cope with these thougths. Just be honest and share everything that you're going through. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I hope you'll feel better soon. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this
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Rive1976
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,740
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#9
[QUOTE=AlwaysChanging2;6440622]
Quote:
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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2011
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#10
Are your thoughts inside or outside of your head?
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,740
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#11
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
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#12
Is that what you mean Betty Banana? Like a schziophrenic would hear. No not like that. I have a had a auditory hallunication like that on a medicine once so I know the difference. These are thoughts but they are random.
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#13
Quote:
Do you hear the thoughts or are you just thinking them? |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
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#14
Not quite sure what you mean by hearing the thoughts. They are just like if I thought hey I want a sandwhich and then went and made one. The only difference is they dont make sense. For example like two minutes ago I was looking at a cooking video and the thought popped in my head I love my Pippa. I have had about 4 weird ones like that today. Some days there is more some days less.
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
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#15
I think your T is the best person to talk with about the random thoughts she has asked you to write down for her.
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