They All Want To Be "The Real Me"

Always arguing about who's really me, I rarely have clarity on this issue. Anyone else?

When I am in every altered state, I believe I am "the real me" if that makes any sense.

Because of not knowing who the real me is or the "host" as they call it, I often am questioning, am I the host right now... or am I in some altered state... have I lost sight of the host? Where is it, who is it. How do I know for certain.

I suppose this is just the confusion that comes along with having OSDD. I think it's more confusing to have OSDD than it is to have DID sometimes.

welcome... I see you mentioned OSDD and I was wondering which OSDD disorder you have... OSDD has many disorders in that category now. when you got diagnosed with OSDD your treatment provider had to tell you which one you had and which of your problems got you diagnosed with it.

example my files say OSDD - Macropsia. that means I fit the Other Specified Dissociative Disorder category of dissociative disorders and the disorder in this category that I fit in is called Macropsia.

my treatment provider had to tell me because that's what the S stands for (Specified means the treatment providers have to tell you when you have this disorder and which one/ why they diagnosed you with that)

theres like 8 or more OSDD diagnoses now or more and you find out which one when you get diagnosed with it.

reason I mention this is if you have OSDD and want to know whether what you posted is part of this all you need to do is contact your treatment provider who can look in your files and see whether this problem is listed and whether you and the treatment provider has talked about it if not someone didn't follow the diagnosing rules for this disorder with you and they can do a followup with you to "specify" (talk about it with you, tell you what your OSDD disorder is and what symptoms are related to it.)

what I can tell you is that I have a past diagnosis of DID and I have a present diagnosis of OSDD.

for me no there was never any arguing about who was in control or wanting to be me. all my alters were dissociative related meaning they took control based on triggers and dissociation

Rainy was the alter who handled storms, sadness, depression,
Thelma handled intimacy / dating...
Red handled anger issues...

they were "out" only when I was triggered by something associated to what their sense of agency was.

when they were out they were just like any other human being, they did not consider their self to be alters, nor did they fight for the body, nor did they fight amongst their self for control. when they were in control it was just their body and they did what their sense of agency was.

Hello elizathornberry: Thanks for sharing your perspective. I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central.

Here's a link to an article, from Psych Central's archives, that discusses OSDD:

'Other Specified' and 'Unspecified' Dissociative Disorders

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.