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  #1  
Old Apr 24, 2008, 04:27 PM
freewill
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Everyone on the board.. has been so patient with me.. as I sorted out my feelings about my T...(posted in the other forum)...

ahhhh.. I vented... and reasoned.. and.. now have decided..

and I am sad... really sad...

I loved my T... I really did... but.. decided after todays session.. that work with him is over... any real meaningful work...

so... is sad... am sad...

and I did try.... once trust is broken... it is just broken....

so... it.. is just... "light non-meaningful" therapy... and the search for a new therapist...

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  #2  
Old Apr 24, 2008, 05:07 PM
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pachyderm pachyderm is offline
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Hope you find one that leaves you with less of a bitter after-taste.
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When all have given him o'er
From death to life
Thou might'st him yet recover
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  #3  
Old Apr 24, 2008, 06:08 PM
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Kiya Kiya is offline
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((((((((((((free)))))))))))
things seem to move when time is right - even if they don't always feel right or make us sad. =(
Kiya
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  #4  
Old Apr 24, 2008, 07:28 PM
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(((((((((((((freewill)))))))))
I understand feeling sad and also feeling like trust was lost. You have every right to move on to someone safe.
I hope your search is successful.

BJ
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  #5  
Old Apr 24, 2008, 07:36 PM
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(((((((((((( freewill )))))))))))))
therapy... and.. sad.. it's over...
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  #6  
Old Apr 24, 2008, 07:51 PM
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((((Freewill)))) ...at least he got you to a point where you can survive this. therapy... and.. sad.. it's over...
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therapy... and.. sad.. it's over...
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  #7  
Old Apr 24, 2008, 09:57 PM
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Free...I read about your problems with your T. I am so sorry, but I think you are making the best decision.

No T should "throw a client out." even if you were ranting and raving the entire session.

I hope you can find a new T that can help.
Know that I am in the same ship....looking for a new T. therapy... and.. sad.. it's over...

Hang in there.... therapy... and.. sad.. it's over...
  #8  
Old Apr 25, 2008, 05:50 AM
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PsyChris PsyChris is offline
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Do you plan on sharing your reasoning with your therapist or are you just going to cancel therapy?

Do you have a way to obtain a therapist that is qualified enough to treat you?
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Chris

The great blessing of mankind are within us and within our reach; but we shut our eyes, and like people in the dark, we fall foul upon the very thing we search for, without finding it.
Seneca (7 B.C. - 65 A.A.)
  #9  
Old Apr 25, 2008, 08:33 AM
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pachyderm pachyderm is offline
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> Do you have a way to obtain a therapist that is qualified enough to treat you?

If you have the answer to that question, please let us know! therapy... and.. sad.. it's over...
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Now if thou would'st
When all have given him o'er
From death to life
Thou might'st him yet recover
-- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631
  #10  
Old Apr 25, 2008, 12:09 PM
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Kiya Kiya is offline
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lol - no joke
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  #11  
Old Apr 25, 2008, 04:38 PM
freewill
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lol.....

I am the alter that is in "control" of making decisons for our "system"...

finding... a therapist that even remotely understands DID well enough to try to treat a patient... well in my humble opinion... can we just say "hehehehehehehe"...

because I am feeling better today...

went to the PF doctor... YEA... and he has helped me get all the "kinks" out of my treatment... he is a special.. dr.. cause.. my ED.. my DID... and my PTSD... didn't stop him from treating me.. can't say the same as my internist...

I did do an email.. of termination... he and I discussed over the phone.. and.. I went back in...

I allowed my alter... who.. was asked to leave... to talk to him... and she.. does not agree with his viewpoint..

and.. neither do the majority of the alters... so majority does rule in this case...

I think had he... let the session contiune.. and asked for a different alter.. and then broached the subject of boundaries later at another session.. it might have been able to be worked out...
Being told to leave.. brings up the question... of ......what if it was a little... and he asked her to leave... ya know... or everytime he hears something he doesn't like... am I going to have to leave...

and MOST importantly... do I know what it is that he does not want to hear... do my alters know... ahhhhhhhhh NO... they don't... and I do not have enough co-consiousness to... explain.. everything.. to all of them..

so.... how could I ever let my guard down.. I would have to insure.. that just certain alters were there .... all the time... and can I do that... ahhhhhh no...

I do think if I was swearing a blue streak... and threatening him in anyway... something like that... then I would also have a different "take" on the situtation...

but... then I really think suffering from flashbacks.. as I have been for the pass 2 weeks.. as other alters share their memories.. being sick...with ED...
his attitude does not "pass mustard".. or what every that saying is..

to the original question... I have already let him know our feelings... we did not come to a meeting of the "minds" my therapist and alters... so will go back Monday... and... tell him how much I appreciated everything that he has done for me... but am terminating therapy..

I have a pdoc... that sticks with me.. no matter what.... see him every 4-6 weeks... so though I will not have therapy... I will have.. help if I would ever need hospitalization... though it hasn't ever come to that yet...

I think that No.. therapy... is better than Bad... therapy....

and.. will I find another therapist... that treats DID... is any good... that takes my insurance....

ahhhhhhhhhhhh methinks Not...

but right now... working with someone.. who... I can't trust.. of what good is that???? ya know???

so... am sad... very sad.. on the insides... and it will get scary with no therapist....

But.. my last T.. of 4 years... didn't believe in DID... I had to go because of financial reasons... and because my ED... was wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy out of control... and.. well lets just say... her therapy was a nightmare... because without recognising alters... my behavior makes no sense..

she... was so funny... she kept asking me why I "changed my mind" all the time... gezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz she was talking to different alters that had different viewpoints...
  #12  
Old Apr 25, 2008, 06:38 PM
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Kiya Kiya is offline
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free - sorry, but what is ED? you don't have to say of course if you don't want to. i've not heard of that.
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  #13  
Old Apr 25, 2008, 07:42 PM
freewill
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ED = eating disorder.... was anerxiox for 1.5 years... bulemic following that... working on recovering... or trying to recover..

has been tough... at my age 52... have had alot of permenant damage to my body due to my eating disorder...

recovery is slow... because my body doesn't want to digest food.. so it is very slow...
  #14  
Old Apr 25, 2008, 11:39 PM
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bipolar_bear bipolar_bear is offline
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((((((((((((((((((((((freewill)))))))))))))))))))))) I am sorry that you are even having to deal with all of this. Know I am here whenever you need.

BB
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therapy... and.. sad.. it's over...


  #15  
Old Apr 26, 2008, 11:08 AM
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Jennifer1084 Jennifer1084 is offline
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we wish you the best in finding a new T and have hopes that you will find one you will get along with and do some good meaningful work.
  #16  
Old Apr 26, 2008, 12:20 PM
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nothemama8 nothemama8 is offline
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freewill, could it be that your T is going through burn out? possible just screwed up this time hang in there we will be here with you
Angie
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therapy... and.. sad.. it's over...
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