owlet

tonight in t owlet came out and talked a long time. it's the first time she's ever talked wth t. showed some art, and even told t some needs. she told to to ask for me (kiya) at the end. she never made eye contact and did cry a few brief moments. I, being at the back, knew of some of it, and she has been filling me in on the rest as we drove home. I did a lot better with t leaving what felt like a long time for me to get back to "me" before leaving. that worked well. owlet's voice broke a lot and several times I thought she'd go mute, but she managed to retain her voice (this is new also). right as the switching was taking place, there were lots of voices including samantha who was sad i didn't remember to bring colored markers. t asked if we wanted some - but owlet couldn't say yes. that felt too weird. she tried to, and t couldn't really hear the muttered answer. but instead of closing down completely (per usual) after a few moments, she moved on and started talking. I was very proud of her. Especially that she was able to state her fears that what she was going to talk about would poison t - and t was very clear to tell us she is safe and has protection. that allowed owlet to continue. A difficult, but good therapy night. really super tired now.
kiya

((((((((((((Kiya))))))))))))
It sounds like you are making much progress! It's wonderful that you trust your T enough to open up. I'm glad you were able to see the progress somewhat while it was happening too. Way to go!

(((Kiya & Owlet)))

Way to go!!

thanks (((((((((Waiting2heal, Katie)))))))))))))) I'm right at the end of 8 months with T and this is the first she's met any of the alters. i know some have been there prior, but not speaking to her or letting her know they were there. Lil miss Owlet kept the scarf on her all day today that she had with her yesterday in T. T had commented on the horse stuffy and the scarf (as "a nice soft cloth") and somehow that was like a balm to get through today. I never wear a scarf all day - this was a first. There was no parting with it (and it's not small, it's one of those that are really wide and long to make a shall). At one point when I was hot i tried to remove it, and owlet made the body start to fall asleep - that happens with switching a lot with me; that or headaches. I prefer that over the headaches!!

That sounds like a really good session. Owlet felt safe and T was very reassuring. I love the scarf. Go with it!

(((((kiya)))))

Thanks sunrise - and infact, she did go with the scarf again today. Funny, too, because typically when i try to wear a decorative scarf, i fidgit with it and my neck gets so hot i get a migraine. Neither of those two things has happened in the two days it's been worn. I find that really interesting! In fact, today in the afternoon i saw my reflection and didn't recognize myself! And forgot there was a scarf there until I saw it in the reflection!

That's way cool that you've found something that calms down inside like that. For a while once, I found a tiny little bear (about 2" in length) in my pants pocket almost every day. I guess some part of me was comforted by carrying it around. Whatever helps us is a good thing!

(((((((((((( Kiya and owlet )))))))))))))

it is so great to hear about the steps forward owlet has taken. it is real nice when a part can trust t enough to start talking. and i find different parts find different things comforting (like her scarf). it is so important to find what helps each individual part and use that to help soothe and care for the part. sounds like you are doing real good work.

Thanks Fuzzy and dinos - I can feel owlet taking in every word behind my eyes. it helps her to read these, acknowledging that she did nothing wrong in talking with t. it has taken 5 years to get to this point (talking as much as she did). and this is alo the first time there was no SI from the destructive parts after her sharing. owlet is pressing on my mind (?) with a headache, trying to reach, to touch the words here , to make them real, to help her get out of the dungeon she's been in so long.

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wanttoheal said:
That's way cool that you've found something that calms down inside like that. For a while once, I found a tiny little bear (about 2" in length) in my pants pocket almost every day. I guess some part of me was comforted by carrying it around. Whatever helps us is a good thing!


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*grin*... yes, there's (about the same size) moose in my (our) purse, wearing a yellow rain slicker =)
(((((wanttoheal))))))))

The moose sounds so cute!

((Kiya))

I love to color with T's colored pencils and after reading your post I know that my little girl is sometimes afraid to ask for them when she wants them.

It must be reassuring that Owlet asked for Kiya at the end of session. Very sweet.

Miss Charlotte thanks for the post - we've been feeling a bit forlorn. no word from t at all after that session, no words of encouragement or to reassure owlet. even after i sent one or 2 emails. i know t is very busy. i didn't want to ask for any reassurances.... but owlet feels isloated and lost... and unsure if what she did was right.
us

(((((((((((kiya and owlet))))))))))

You did the right thing.

It is so, so hard to need reassurance from T after a hard session and not be able to get it. Especially on a holiday weekend when T is likely busy and not checking e-mail! I find waiting on an e-mail/phone call from T to be one of THE worst feelings.

But *we* can reassure you. You are amazing and strong, you did the right thing, and everything WILL be okay.

Big hugs!

thanktou earthmama - that healps me feal better. this week waiting to hear from the t to see if she'll leave me or not wanna talk to me any more has been awlful. i'm afrad to show my face ther ahagain. buy wat you wrote makes me feal better.
owlet

((((((((((((((((((( owlet ))))))))))))))))))))))

thanks

last session a new one (to t) nearly emerged.... i won't say her name here. but i had to work hard to keep from switching. we showed a piece of her art - with rules not to touch it (like the last therapist did and made the system really unhappy).
Seems like it was just last night, but it was 2 nights ago. i can't remember the time in between.
the nights have been hard cuz the distructives want to injure and keep showing pictures to the mind of what to do.
=( us

Safe hugs to (((Kiya & all))) if ok. Hope you can stay safe the best you can!

ty katie. i am.... how have you been? not seen you in a bit.

That's good :-) I'm managing, having a tougher time now, almost got sent to the loony ward but I got out. My moods are out of whack but that's because I have "real" issues. I suppose that's a good thing. But all in all I'm managing. How are you today?

hmmmmmmmmm... sorry you're having a tougher time =(

today- i dunno . i got off work at 2:30 and now it's 5. and i don't know how it got to be 5. a minute ago it was 4. i know i went to the store, got 3 items and came home. then talked to the roommate... but that couldn't have taken 2.5 hours!