not DID...but what?

i'm confused...HELP

i don't think i have a disociative disorder, but...

i do have a distinct, separate identity "little me" who exists along with me; however i don't think "little me" is able to assume control over my behavior or thoughts.

she's like my "inner child" ...but she's a little more...

i've always felt a part of me was younger than i am. i've always relied on stuffed toys for comfort, etc. i've often talked and acted in voice/manner of someone younger than i. i suck my thumb.

last year, i found a couple (my best friends) who accept my different way of behaving. they've taken on a Mommy/Daddy role with "little me." before this couple, i did not socialize at all.

i know she and i are the same person, but - at the same time - she is VERY different from me! she trusts completely. she's not unhappy or depressed like i am.

it is also easier for her to communicate verbally. i tend to rely on her to communicate verbally with this couple. as an adult, i write to communicate.

there is never a time when i - my adult self - am not present. even when i'm thinking and talking and living as "little me." so i wouldn't think i have DID.

but what is it or why do i rely on a little version of me to communicate? to be social? to love? to trust? is there a name for this??

because of issues relating to my depression and self injury i was considering going back into therapy. but i'm not sure how to approach this aspect of myself. my friends said they would find a therapist who understands and go with me if i needed. i'm just a little confused!

It probably isn't the best way to go about this, looking for a diagnosis. You say someone says you were abused (it's in your profile) as though you have no recollection of this.

I think that's great that you have good friends now! Why not find a psychologist who works with dissociative disorders and get a professional's thoughts on this, and how to feel better about living?



In the meantime, don't be afraid to have things that the little you enjoy doing. Even if it isn't another "separate" part of you, it does lend to a thought that you just didn't have enough fun as a child, eh?

thank you Sky

i didn't mean to be looking for a diagnosis. i guess i was just wondering if there were other people who've experienced this.

also, i removed the confusing abuse reference from my profile. it's not that i don't remember. i'm just not ready or willing to accept it.

little me is very happy you think it's ok for us to continue doing things she enjoys. ((((Sky))))

luv,
lily

Hi Blue-Roses, welcome to Psych Central
I'm so glad you have friends that accept you as you are. That's important and often hard to find. I think there are several members here who have an inner childlike state and hopefully will respond to you as well.

I think if you find a trauma specialist, you might find someone who understands different states of mind. Just be honest. If the one you're talking to doesn't understand or isn't willing to be open to understanding, you always have the option of saying thank you for your time and moving on to the next one.

We're glad you're here and hope to hear from you again.

(((((((((((((( blue_roses )))))))))))))))

((((((((((((((((((((((((((blue roses)))))))))))))))))))))))))) Welcome to PC. It sounds like you would like some insight into how you are relating with little me. Maybe someone who specializes in trauma can help you sort through this. I am glad you have found some understanding and supportive friends. That is awesome.

BB

thank you wanttoheal, fuzzybear, and bipolar bear!

i am very very very lucky to have the two friends i have! they are very loving and supportive of me. at the same time, they are going through a lot in their own lives (including a health crisis) and i feel like such a burden!

i am confused about this little me. she stayed very hidden in my life until i met my friends who accept me for who i am. then this little me just popped out!! at first i didn't like her... i called her the little snot monster. but now i don't mind her so much.

at first, it just seemed like a neat way to be able to express myself. since i have such a hard time communicating with people in person. but lil me can talk and she trusts and she's able to feel love.

but now i feel like maybe having this part of me is part of something bigger. a bigger problem. (as if i didn't have enough problems...now there are more than one of me!) it scares me.

i can't face going to a therapist alone and talk about this. but my friends (lil me's Mommy 'n Daddy) are in the middle of so much. i don't know what to do.

i hope i can talk more about little me here. even though i don't think i have DID. is it ok for me to post here?

little me wants to post some too. she's starting to get scared.

Of course it is ok if you and little me post here. I hope we can be support for both of you.

BB

We're glad you're here blue_roses! This forum is for anyone with a dissociative disorder (not just DID) and those who want to support them, which means anyone can post here lol.

We accept all of you and look forward to hearing more from you.

When I first went to T, it was super scary. I went for something else though, not a dissociative disorder. I just got that as a side order I guess lol. I quit every week for a while because I was just too scared. Thankfully my T knew what was going on and encouraged me to keep coming back. Now I still quit in my mind periodically, but I haven't quit out loud in a while. It takes a whole lot of courage to put that foot through the door, or even to pick up the phone in the first place. For me, it's been worth it though (even though I wish I had a magic pill so I could be done already). Therapy is hard but I hope you will be able to try it soon.

My best to you. Take care and hope to hear from you soon.

(((((((((((Bipolar Bear & WantToHeal)))))))))))))))

thank you for posting!

lil me is happy she can post too. she doesn't like to be left out!

Hi There,
Sounds like something that I have been going through. I thought it was a new person because I am DID but my T said I regress to a time when there weren't as many bad things. I acted, felt and did things that same way as I was at that age.

I think it would be good to see someone who works with trauma and have someone who has a better idea of what it really might be and help you understand it better.

I am also glad you have supportive friends who help you out!

Blackbelt

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blue_roses said:
i'm confused...HELP

i don't think i have a disociative disorder, but...

i do have a distinct, separate identity "little me" who exists along with me; however i don't think "little me" is able to assume control over my behavior or thoughts.

she's like my "inner child" ...but she's a little more...

i've always felt a part of me was younger than i am. i've always relied on stuffed toys for comfort, etc. i've often talked and acted in voice/manner of someone younger than i. i suck my thumb.

last year, i found a couple (my best friends) who accept my different way of behaving. they've taken on a Mommy/Daddy role with "little me." before this couple, i did not socialize at all.

i know she and i are the same person, but - at the same time - she is VERY different from me! she trusts completely. she's not unhappy or depressed like i am.

it is also easier for her to communicate verbally. i tend to rely on her to communicate verbally with this couple. as an adult, i write to communicate.

there is never a time when i - my adult self - am not present. even when i'm thinking and talking and living as "little me." so i wouldn't think i have DID.

but what is it or why do i rely on a little version of me to communicate? to be social? to love? to trust? is there a name for this??

because of issues relating to my depression and self injury i was considering going back into therapy. but i'm not sure how to approach this aspect of myself. my friends said they would find a therapist who understands and go with me if i needed. i'm just a little confused!

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