Okay, I may have actually already asked this question before, which will be quite ironic considering what the question is about (remembering things!). If I did ask, I forget, so forgive me!

My life is like this big dreamy blur. I literally am not sure what really happened, what I read somewhere, what was something I dreamed, etc. Not in my distant past - I just mean little recent things. Like today, for some reason I was thinking of having my car painted (something I would never do, so I don't even know where this train of thought came from) and I had this vague feeling that I saw something somewhere about a cheap new way to paint your car. It kind of felt like something I dreamed about? But what a weird dream. Or maybe I read it somewhere? This is how my mind works ALL DAY LONG. I'm constantly kind of confused about dreams vs. reality. And I can't remember things I really WANT to remember - like whatever T said to me at the end of my last appointment. I remember feeling not very grounded when T was talking to me - sort of that watching from across the room feeling - and I remember trying to really see him and hear him because it felt like what he was saying was important (it seemed like a lot of positive things about me and how I'm doing in therapy) and I *thought* I might be hanging on to it, but I really can't remember it very well now. I have so many examples. Like, the day is FILLED with them.

Does anyone else's mind work this way? I feel SO not present in my own life. Sometimes I wonder if different parts of me are living out different parts of the day, so the memory is stored with them? But if that's true, why do I have this kind of vague dreamy memory of stuff?

I don't know if this makes ANY sense. Just wondering if this sounds familiar to anyone I guess.

[complic8d]

This makes a LOT of sense to me. That's how I explain things, not sure if it's dreaming or real. Sometimes I have to check things or with ppl to see which one it is. I have a very hard time staying focused, especially in therapy. I lose my train of thought in mid-sentence, I can't imagine what ppl think. (Well, ok, I CAN imagine, and I don't like it)
I just talked with my t about trying to stay present in my body in therapy. I zone out and don't really know what she is saying. She said she will at times in session ask my how far away from my body I am, and bring me back if necessary. I hope this helps as I have been getting nothing done in t.
As I read your post my eyes got bigger and bigger because it sounded so much like me. It is so hard to explain to others, isn't it?

Take care! HUGS!

[Kiya]

yeah - that was how things used to be for me.... like 4 years ago. But since then i have done a lot of work (more than i realized ,looking back) and now i know a lot more of what is going on.
Give it time.... start working on paying attention (i know, easier said than done) and journaling anything you can think of in the moment.... things will start to piece together.
kiya

[pegasus]

It does sound familiar.

I don't know if you do it too but I tend to block certain things out, usually something 'good' that someone has said to me. The end of a T session is probably THE time that I do that. All I can think of is preparing to get out the door and join the world again and T has an annoying habit of chatting away and I can't hear a dam thing!

I will say, that sometimes it'll come to me a few days later but then I'll question whether that was what was actually said.

(((((((((((( earthmama )))))))))))))

[Kiya]

you know - good point - i do that too. Just the other day with my case worker. T was around the corner and i went into some strange space and have no idea what the c.w. said. But when i looked at the info she emailed me, i found i understood because her words got in my head somewhere.

[wanttoheal]

I often wonder if I actually did something or dreamed it or told someone something or dreamed that I did, or that someone told me something. It can be pretty confusing for sure. Sometimes someone will say something to me about something and I have a little realization that it did happen and wasn't my imagination.

In the past I just did not have enough awareness of my life to even think too much about when things like that happened. It was just a normal every day occurrence. As I became more aware of what was going on and what was normal, it was like a bucket of cold water in my face. It still throws me when I see it, but I just have to keep remembering what T says. I'm just becoming more aware. It's always happened, it's just that my awareness of it is increasing. And that's a good thing.

Hang in there. It will get better.

[multipixie9]

Earth Mama,

This is SO FAMILIAR. I go through this a lot of the time. I'm especially aware of it sometimes in counseling. Things happen and I am fully co-conscious at the time - but later on, things feel faded and distant and some things are just gone.

I also get this way in the area of intimacy with spouse. No TMI, here, but this area is difficult for me due to past abuse and so I am there at the time and later it is like a dream or even gone. I get creeped out by this, but I don't know what to do about it if anything even can be done.

I think sometimes I do switch back and forth in the day, but it's not obvious to me at the time. It used to get me into lots of trouble, when I couldn't remember things. It seems like movies and things I watch on tv disappear and later it is like I can watch it all over again and it seems new - except for a few bits and pieces.

I don't know if this is a good thing, bad thing or just a thing that happens. I do know it is real, because it happens to me too.

Perplexed Pixie ( I don't know why my smilies won't work!)

I'm having an extra hard time with this today.

I'm under a lot of stress, I think. Too many big feelings. Now I see it's 8:53 at night, and I have so much lost time today. I remember flashes of the day - went on a hike this morning, had a birthday party for my youngest from 2 to 4. Left some messages with T but don't know what I said or how many I left. The past few hours are pretty much gone.

It makes me feel really confused and I don't like it.

[tymedrifter]

i used to feel like i was sitting in a theatre and watching a movie on the big screen. the person on the screen looked lik eme but wasn't me. i was seeign soemone who looked like me living a life i didn't recognize either.
i fel tlike i was floating through life and i didn't even know myself anymore.