My therapist doesn't hear my pain... he is a good therapist.. I know that...

His primary focus is always for enjoyment of the future.. the future... and I guess.. I have kinda "had" it...

He says... "learn new skills"... "learn new skills then you will be able to be able to do XYZ"....

please, please.. tell me... I am 52... and been in therapy for 23 years.. and I have... worked.. and worked.. in therapy.. so I could be a good parent.. so I could take care of my parents.. so I could work to support all of them... even my ex-husband..

I guess.. I look at this as more of the same...what on earth????

I asked him... why not look... at the skills.. I have now.. today... at this moment.. and figure out what I can do.. that would bring some joy into my life... now...

Intergration.. is all I here - "it will be better when I intergrate"...

We both agreed that talking to each other was like talking to a brick wall..

And.. then.. he said " you need to make a promise to me.. that you will keep yourself safe.. after each session"...

I mean... " I promise".... but how meaningless...

so confused...

[wanttoheal]

If you are unhappy with this therapist, perhaps it's time to look for a new one? If you have talked to this therapist and he is not hearing you, you might also try writing it down for him, or printing off some of your posts here for him to read. If that doesn't work, it might be time to find one who will hear you?

Also, perhaps some antidepressants can help the depression that binds you so? Forgive me if I am incorrect in that- I have found in myself that when I get into the state of mind that feels so hopeless, it is often that my depression has gotten worse.

While DID can be seemingly debilitating at times, I am finding that when I seek joy in the little things, I am finding joy. That has helped my depression 100-fold. Maybe you can try to find for yourself what things you can do on your own, with the skills that you have? One thing I have finally learned is that while my therapist can care and my therapist can guide me, ultimately it is up to me to incorporate the things I have learned.

I hope you are able to figure some things out freewill. We are here if you ever want to talk. I know some days can be harder than others for sure. :Heart::Heart::Heart:

[Monty_girl]

Sometimes it's hard enough with dealing with today. Forget how to deal with the future when you can't deal with the here and now. Doesn't sound like the T is listening to what you need right now. Maybe it's time to find someone who can help you in the here and now.

I don't think T's understand sometimes that talking about the future and how things will be so much better then. Doesn't help the pain your in now.

[multipixie9]

Hi Freewill,

A T who doesn't hear your pain sounds kinda useless. T is being paid to hear you and help guide you into avenues of healing. Sometimes we have to move on if we no longer feel we can communicate with or learn from our T. Sometimes they also wear out or lose their edge with us and it shouldn't be a bad thing for either side to change if it stops being Theraputic.

Have you been with him the whole 23 years? That's a long time. He may have stopped "seeing" and "hearing" you from over-familiarity. That is not saying anything bad about him or you, its just people.

If he isn't listening and keeps pushing things over and over without accepting what you are trying to say....something is off and needs to change. Don't let fear or familiarity keep you with someone who is no longer a benefit to your healing process!

Leslie and the Pixies