just dunno any more

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Kiya ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Littles ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I know how you feel. I wish I could help.

how'bout you and yours, and me and mine run away and never look back?

Let's go!!! Here's us:

awesome! we're outta here!!! i just seem...so....lost i guess.

I hear you...lots.

I had to quit "backin my bags and gettin the heck outta dodge". Was one of the hardest things I've ever done, and definitely most challenging, but soooooooooo worth it.

I do know what you're saying...

((((((( safe hugs )))))))

KD

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Kiya)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am here.

BB

((((Kiya))))

feeling your pain on the "lost" part.

hope things get better soon - lots of virtual strength!

(sorry i don't have much to say, i've been away from here for a while i don't know much about what is going on in your life nowadays )

(((((((((Kiya))))))))))))

Kiya and Littles, Be kind to yourself and just hang on. Feelings come and then they go. It WILL get better. Hugs from us to you all.

Leslie and Her Pixies

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Kiya)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

BB

but we're scared, kimmy!! =(

((((((((((((leslie, pixies, silver)))))))))) thanks.... hanging... why is it that feelings seem to be emergencies??? and why can't i go further than OMG!!! ?

(((((((((BBear))))))))))))) thanks for always being there

yeah - what have you been doing?? It's been ages! That's ok - honestly, i hardly know what is going on in my life either!!!
(((((((((((((((Katie))))))))))))))) drop a line!!

kiya - i don't know where i've been either! well i know i went to the hospital at some point, spent three weeks there, got out, and started losing time. basically i'm just drifting through the days and trying not to freak out.. ahhhhh! only it is much easier to say it than do it.

how are you today?

((((((((((((((((((( kiya ))))))))))))))))))))

It's hard not to run away when we're scared.

I want to run away today too.

Maybe we can stay here and help each other.

(((((((((((((((Kiya))))))))))) I'm sorry you are having a tough time. It does get weary trying to fight day after day. Some days I just want to let my dissociation take me away for good. It's hard work trying to stay present and work through things. We're here if you want to talk.

Oh hun, i'm sorry! How are you doing now? It is easier said than done, I can vouch for that. I told my md what was really going on with me yesterday, and now i have to go see her today. *gulp*. Well, it is good to see you back on the boards!!!
(((((((((((((Katie)))))))))))))

I guess, if we have to stay, i'd certainly rather be with friends
i really do want to run today - feel like i am again walking to the gallows. I don't want to see md and have to explain why i told her we've been doing the whole *death looks like a good option* thing. I am safe, but sometimes my brain gets carried away. have to remember that she cares and wants to help me stop hurting. but it isn't like she can actually do anything about it.

yeah me too... course the times i want to escpae the most is when things get extra super clear. why can't this work in my favor???

<- that is such a good smiley for this board! though i think there should be more variations to it, since there are much larger systems than the picture represents...

how did it go at md's?

i've also felt like just packing my bags (though it's difficult, everybody wants so much stuff with them!) and leaving this life for ever and ever. but i can't. i kinda promised someone i wouldn't attempt to take my life again - well i didn't promise but i'm afraid of making them angry. dang with them people never understanding.

basically i think i'm ok for now. if only there could be more co-consciousness! bah.

<- the (very unfortunate) consequences of running away

((((((((((Kiya)))))))))))))
(((((((((Katie)))))))))

I have run away many times throughout my life, picking up and starting over. It wasn't until recently that I realized that what I was trying to run from was me and my brain and so I was never able to run away from it for very long. I still want to run away though, a lot. But I have to keep telling myself that I just need to stay and deal with stuff. It's very hard but I am hoping it will get better. Hang in there guys.

it was ok. she didn't say anything about it. just that my T is working with that part. didn't even flinch with what i wrote her. i really like that my medical team doesn't freak when i talk "end stuff".

more hugs to you katie... kiya

i am hoping it will get better too. how does one face one's brain, anyway?