[beadlady29-old]

baed's systen is not seem to be taek caer of itsefl veyr goo these dyas!!!!!!!!!
siwthcign is gettign moer way moer often.....no cuz keep loes teim confuse
juts dotn undrestadn why it seem leik we keep braek down over adn over adn not even no raeson! it feels eik were drownign! embarased keep aks for hpel but catn get in see T do not know waht to do. sorry spelchk to hadr to ues

[RozG]

((((((((((((bead)))))))))))))

sorry things are so hard just now. sorry you can't get in to see T either just now.

please know i'm here for chat or pm ok?

much love and hugs ((((((bead))))))

[iamtwilight]

(((beadlady)))

don't worry about the spelling, it's perfectly understandable and ok. try to hang in there until you can get a hold of T. safe hugs & do what you can to keep you safe

[multipixie9]

Beadlady and Others,

You sound very scared and upset and I'm sorry it is so bad right now.

Is there any talk between parts? Is there a way to ask a strong part to help the others for now?

If you could work together until you could get in to see T everybody might feel safer and better.

Bead, please be good to yourselves and try to be ok until T time again.

Let Roz and others help you for now and take care ok?

Leslie's Pixies

[beadlady29-old]

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww (((((((((((((multipixies)))))))))))))))))))))))))

thank u so much for caring. it helps to know that we're in ur thoughts. No there is not much intentionsal talk between parts that aware of, although sometimes buddy or me talks to T. so confusing.trying to get along with everyone...........
ty and hugs lots of them safe ones of course

beadlady29

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( beadlady ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

thinking of you....

[beadlady29-old]

thanks iamtwilight111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

your kind words we appreciate so much.
is good to know that there are sooo many kind unjudgemental peoples here

beadlady29

[Typo]

(((((((((Bead)))))))
I am sorry you are having such a rough time, the spelling is fine, I understand, it's hard to spell right when upset.
Please stay safe, I hope you get to see your T soon. I am here if you want to talk.
Sending peacful thoughts to you
Silversparrow

[iamtwilight]

(((beadlady))) how are you today?

twilite

[beadlady29-old]

Originally Posted by iamtwilight

(((beadlady))) how are you today?

twilite

twilite thanks for asking, however that is a tough question to answer rite now.
Best me can say is that bead is no longer panicking which is an improvement.

As for any further answer,
all we can say is that we are back in the numb zone with the walls again....dont think any of us chose to be here but when something like this happens that we totally never expected to find out it throws us for a ringer and i guess they're (oither alters) trying to take care of and protect bead any way they can

beadlady29

[wanttoheal]

((((((((((((((((((beadlady)))))))))))))))))))) I hope you are feeling better now. Please take gentle care.

[beadlady29-old]

(((((((((((((((((wanttoheal))))))))))))))))))))))))))

ty so much, adn yes we r feel a litle gooder todya
tihs is all sonwe still.........r laernign to be moer getnel wiht uorself.
tc

bead

[silver_queen]

((((((((( beadlady )))))))))

Yep maybe try to go with the flow and see where that takes you

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( beadlady ))))))))))))))))

[beadlady29-old]

(((((((((((((((((fuzzy and silver)))))))))))))))))))))))

thanks so much.............. for caring
for listening
for being who you are
for shareing
silver...........afraid everything is flowing south

beadlady

[multipixie9]

beadlady29 and others,

we sorry things is going south. maybe things can get better after they go south...sumtims we get wers an then we get bettr, is funny lik that only not to laugh.

we doing better. we used to be doing rotten. we not different frum u. so maybe u be doing good soon too. is possible!!!! we kno is possible.

sometimes we learn bad things about our life as little girl. is ugly. we hate it. get sad/mad/growling/whimpering and just really bummed out. but then it get better too. so, i think is maybe same for u too. first bad then better.

we hope so for u. cos u matter. bye

pixies, not telling our name, we not sure wat is??

[beadlady29-old]

(((((((((((((((((((((multipixies)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

thanks so much for such a honest, kind respionse. and also because you are always so posititve. we are not that far along in therapy where we understand many of the medmorise yet..............just a bunch of like movie slides that come but never can connect them. T says we are gonna have to remember EVERTYHING in order to move forwadr very much frustatee we do not even like to think about what we do remember is bad enought and we're supposed rfo learn to remember MORE... WE ARE AFRAID not sure if we wanna fo there or notc Me

[wanttoheal]

(((((((((((((((beadlady)))))))))))))))
That would be too hard for me, I think, to have to remember everything. My T said I don't have to and that often times when you remember some type of memory and deal with that, it helps take care of similar memories. We mostly deal with living today though and deal with things that come up through that so maybe my T has a different approach overall.

I do think, however, that if the brain brings a memory up on its own, without being forced out due to events, then that means the brain is ready to deal with it. When some stuff was going on in my life that caused a flood of memories, they came out and then went back behind a barrier. My only memory of them is that they were horrid but I don't have the content. I think it was triggered by the events going on in my life at that time and because my brain wasn't ready to deal with it, it got pushed back again.

But, I have had some memories come through without any events. While they have been horrid too, I have those memories now and am working through how to keep them from making me curl up in a ball and want to die. T knows a lot of stuff about me just through being triggered and switched, but she doesn't tell me what she knows. She said it could cause things to be worse and when my brain is ready, it will share.

It might be that eventually we will have all our memories and major life events, but I finally had to decide for myself not to worry about that aspect. What I want more is to be able to function in my day and to be able to own my day. Some days are extra hard, that's for sure, but I'm hopeful that as we all get stronger, our days can be better.

Hang in there beadlady. You are very cared for.

[beadlady29-old]

((((((((((((((((wanttoheal)))))))))))))))))

ty so muhc for shareign so muhc.......
in short,,,,,we has teh same goals it seems.....
to functoin gooder evry day even if somedays is good just to get thru
thd day........to see somethign positive every day....and yes, someday
we also hope to OWN each adn every day!!!!!!!
bead is workign on stayign in teh now becuase if her thinks abuot ANTYHIGN she still dunno waht's happenign asdn she must avoid goign tehre!!! so we ignore teh past mostly bey distractign ourseflsadn just as teh birds of the air we is not worry abuot the future ( sometdays we do somedasy we dotn but we keep on try)..
is very hard but as we taek it one moment at at iem, with very tiyn tiyn stesp we aer somehow muddlign thru teh muck!
we aer def. hagnign on to a knot at teh end of a liferope......someteims we thikn is an aler at teh other end taht is hodl on to us so tite ( dunno who esle it wuold be).........she refuses to give up..........NEVER GIVE UP!!!

hugs adn strength for u salo my freind,

bead

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{Bead}}}}}}}}}}}} Just wanted to tell you that I'm thinking of you and praying that your journey to health eases some.

Hold on tight but don't forget to be kind to yourselves.

[wanttoheal]

((((((((((((Beadlady)))))))))))))))

[beadlady29-old]

((((((((((((((((((((septembermorn)))))))))))))))))))))))

thank you so much for your prayers
we is have trouble much be kind to ourselvees rite now...............we many of us hate each other dont want each other to be there sick of them all they do is yell at bead teel her how baad she is y wont they just shut up and go away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
please forgive this c rappy mood.

mary sue

[beadlady29-old]

((((((((((((((((((((((wanttoheal)))))))))))))))))))

thank you freind............we not forget that you are hear with us....we need our freind be hear for us irte now
we send us many safe hugs also hope you is ok!!!!!

mary sue

Hope you're all feeling better soon.

[silentandscared]

((((((((((((((((Bead)))))))))))))))

l hope that you are feeling alot better my dear friend. you left so quickly and l hope that you have managed to stay safe. Remember bead silent is here and when you need me just call and l will come as soon as can. take care dear sweet person and l speak to you soon
sending safe and healing hugd to bead right now


mandyxxx