Feeling....Yucky

Hum...What a day. Iwent to my T today and one of the children came out. I felt and still feel so yucky. Can't really figure it out. I have phyical symptoms of, what my T says, is they ways she felt after abuse she suffered. I hate those feelings. I can feel pain in the hurt places and the sick tummy feeling that makes you want to throw up. Why would i feel this now? How do i make it go away?

becky,

this sounds like body memories. often our bodies retain the feelings of what we were harmed by and at some point the body begins to replay those feelings to encourage us to get help and also it is a silent witness to the truth of what we went through. some of us blocked the mental images and mental memories but our bodies do not forget.

i know you want to "get rid" of the bad feelings, but what you really need to do, i've been told by my T, is comfort the little girl part of you who had those terrible abuse experiences. think of some comforting things to do for her. treat yourself in some kind and nurturing way and talk to her out loud and tell her how brave and strong she was to come out and tell your T about her past. she did a big, bold thing today and deserves to be applauded, comforted and told how well she did. be to her like an adult should have been to you when you were little and hurt. when you feel her feelings its ok to cry with her or be angry with her. she is you and you are her. you need each other to get well.

i wish i could offer you safe and gentle hugs to give her and for you. therapy is hard but it's worth it later on. hugs!

leslie and her pixies

((((((((((((((BeckyC))))))))))))))
Multipixie has some great thoughts on this. I have had problems with that as well and not had the memory information to go with it. Body memories and flashbacks are horrible, but I think with time, as our brain files stuff away in the right places, it might get better. Therapy is way hard, but I can see changes in how I dealt with things a few years ago and how I deal with them now (and sometimes I see positive changes lol)

Hang in there Becky

Hi Becky, MINIME on the PTSD board is talking about this same stuff. She has about 4 threads going over there which are dealing with this.