[Jimmympd]

Hi everyone.
I'm new here and I'm really not sure if I have MPD or not. Was diagnosed several years ago by a psychiatrist as having it but I denied it since I do not have all the symptoms of MPD/DID. Was abused as a child I know, for many years, infact all throughout childhood and until I moved out of my parents when I was in my 20s. I do have many voices in my head this I do know and they talk with each other and to me. Am I crazy? As for losing time, I'm not sure if I do or not, except for yesterday I know for sure I did. Was doing the wash and put the clothes in the dryer, turned on the dryer and went about doing other things. Twenty minutes later I heard some other noise. Went to the wash room and found the washer turned on with no clothes in it. I do not remember ever turning the washer on.

I do know that these voices are parts of me or I guess you call alters. The thing is I am co-concious of what they say when they do come out. This is what confuses me. I hear so many other people with MPD saying they lose all time when their alters come out, even black out, this is not the case for me. I know when they come out and I'm aware of what is going on. So I wonder if I really do have MPD or something else.

[Kendyll]

You don't have to have "all" the symptoms to have DID. It sounds like you may have somethin'. There's a whole spectrum of dissociative disorders, and perhaps you are just not as far along the scale as some other people. It can be a good thing that you are already so connected to any other identity states you may have.

Are you seeing a psych now?

[Jimmympd]

No, I am not seeing a therapist at the moment. Looking for one.

[Jimmympd]

Originally Posted by Kendyll

You don't have to have "all" the symptoms to have DID. It sounds like you may have somethin'. There's a whole spectrum of dissociative disorders, and perhaps you are just not as far along the scale as some other people. It can be a good thing that you are already so connected to any other identity states you may have.

Are you seeing a psych now?

No I am not seeing a therapist at the time but I am currently looking for one. I must add something here and that is when I was a child I was told that I used to space out alot, detached from reality. This occured many times thoughout my childhood.

[Kendyll]

Sounds like dissociation to me...I don't know a whole lot about the workings of DID or anything. I can and do dissociate, but I don't usually go very "far away". I'm also finding out that I have some sort of differentiated ego states (which is different from actual identities). Like I said, there's a whole range of dissociative disorders that can affect people. The first "sticky" at the top of this forum gives a pretty decent breakdown.

If you're interested in a therapist who has some experience with this stuff, the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation has a website that includes pages to locate a therapist:
http://www.isst-d.org/find-a-therapi...-therapist.htm

or you could take a peek at the Psychology Today website:
http://therapists.psychologytoday.co...rof_search.php
That where I found the therapist that I and (hopefully) my BF will be seeing.

[multipixie9]

so much of what you say is pretty classic for dissociation, including the denial of it. i think that maybe we actually deceive ourselves as part of how we survive. i regularly go through bouts of confusion, denial, back and forth arguments. you say that you had years of childhood abuse, this has to have given you lots of reasons to want to check out. there's no fire without some smoke...

try to keep your mind open and talk to people here and see if you can find something that will help you make some healthy decisions.

[wanttoheal]

Hi (((((((((((((((Jimmympd))))))))))))) Welcome to Psych Central.

Boy do I understand denial. When I was diagnosed, I fought it tooth and nail with denial and for years. I searched and searched for other explanations for what was going on for me. When I allowed myself to think it might be possible though, it sure answered a lot of questions and sure made a lot of things make sense. There are still times now that I deny it but I am finding that acceptance is key for healing for me.

Also remember, people can be any where on the dissociation spectrum. One does not have to have DID to have a dissociative disorder.

We are so glad you are here and look forward to hearing more from you. Good luck in your search for a T. Please keep us posted.