D I D in a living room 12 step meeting

I have a 12 step womens recovery group in my home once a week. One of the 23 women who attend,whom I'll refer to as T, disassociated(politically correct?) at the end of the meeting and shared, a second time ,as one of her 9 personalities.
Some women were very scared,triggered, shocked, intriqued,angry.
I spoke to alot of the women , w/ permission from T,to try to take the temperature of the group after hearing of some wmoen were disturbed.
Im totally not qualified for anything other than chairing an alcoholics annonymous meeting. I have a million questions.How do we go on. what do I say to T,to the women, do I open it up for discussion, and deviate from our primary purpose of recovery from drugs and alcohol. how do I facilitate women through this and move on but still honoring others processess????//?//////////?????????

There are some good books that might help you or anyone else in the group to understand about dissociative disorders. I like http://strangerinthemirror.com/ because it shows the range of dissociation from an ability that normal people have and use naturally, through the various ways that extremes of dissociation can affect people.

When you understand a little about dissociative disorders, it will be easier to treat a group member with DID as a person like everybody else. You might also ask her how she would like you to proceed, whether she would like to talk to the group about her disorder briefly, or stick to the primary goals of the 12 Step group.

Hi Lisa, welcome to psych central. I'm sorry the women were triggered in your meeting. Thankfully people with DID are not monsters or crazy. Unfortunately, like anyone who has triggers or any type of PTSD, past abuse, etc, people with DID do struggle when something comes up that triggers something from their past.

For the most part, I would say that a person with DID needs most to have people around him or her to support and encourage. If these women are not capable of that, then I know for me, I'd rather not be in that situation. If these women were angry, it sounds like they have their own issues to deal with. I'd definitely talk to your T and/or read up on stuff.

Best of luck dealing with your group. I hope it will work out well for you.

I am the only DID in my group as well, even though another does have a dissociative disorder. The therapist was concerned at first about having me in there, and i felt really odd at first since it felt that she might be scared of me. There's nothing to fear. So, there's more people in me than in others, but they are still all people (some younger). One in us is an alcoholic and avoids AA meetings like the plague. For me in the one AA we went to, we stayed silent about who we are. For the group we are in now, we are slowly opening up over time. Not come out directly and said "I'm DID" since that tends to cause problems. But if T is switching, I'd ask her how she wants to move forward, and i'd put out info on DID to the women of the group, and let them know that there is nothing scary about it. All 9 of T are people and wish to be treated with respect. I'd be really uncomfortable if i sensed that many people had a reaction to me.
Good that you are seeking answers =)

Someone used to attend my meetings who would occasionally switch. She would scare the hell out of everyone! A wise elder in the group would handle things with gentle compassion and a reminder that the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Sounds like a good talk with a sponsor-like person might be helpful.

I agree.
We're both in AA. His sponsor and our best friend both know about his DID, so SOMEBODY would know what's going on. But what other people think?
You don't say which 12-step group, but all the ones I'm familiar with operate on the same principles, so what I say here can probably be used across the board.

The good thing about support groups is that you can meet all sorts of people. The bad thing about support groups is that they are full of people.

Some people are understanding and others are not. A very unfortunate crap shoot. I've left some meetings where people were unwilling to accept me for who I am, and I've stayed with others even if some people didn't accept me because some other people did.

Notz's "wise elder" hit it right on the head. "The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking". If you look at "How it Works" from chapter five in the big book, it states in the first paragraph that "There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest". I think that says it all...

And Jon says:
It is a truly brave thing you're doing by going through these programs as a way of getting back into the world at large. Remember: people will always try to judge you in these programs and it is unfortunate. We all go at our own pace and that should be a given. The best way is to surround yourself with those you can trust and that may take some time to find them...but they are there.

as one who has participated in 12 step programs i agree that the literature says that the desire to stop drinking is the only requirement! But, unfortunately many people in these groups are not able to handle the reality of a dissociative disorder. My group let me down when my emerging problems were too dramatic - even without dissociating - for them to handle. They were not mean, just clueless on how to help someone who had experienced severe, long-term abuse and while i know my problems baffled them, but i was desperate and looking for help and they didn't know even a little bit of how to support me unless i kept my statements within the limits they understood.

I'm guessing unless something unusual happens it is likely that the group will not be able to welcome and support your dissociative friend. I hope I am wrong.

An A.A. group (which she said it was) is about not drinking and each group has their own limits about "singleness of purpose". Some are more tolerant than others. I try to practice tolerance regarding any matter that affects one's sobriety, but that's just me. Trust me, I know how bent out-of-shape an A.A. group can get over something different!!! Maybe this group could have a Group Conscious meeting and air their feelings and concerns about what happened. All groups benefit from these types of soul searching meetings. Their central office can usually help with literature and sometimes provide an olde tymer for guidance.

I hope the DID woman in question gets what she needs - that's what really matters!

Does T have a sponser?

If she does then she(sponser) would be able to facilitate the issue with T and if T choose,,,the group also.

IMHO.

Lenny