[genn]

These five words will be always in our heart. I just need really need you ...as in need of support and the need to receive some one to hug . Also I really need you is used when is inevitable to get help for a task to be done.

I just really need you is also something that for many of us... is so hard to say... is so hard to aloud people to get so close, because of all the pain.. that pawe had in our past ,to those same people that we supposed to say I just really need you.

were are not there, or were there and never saw us.


In which way have you said I really need you

just genn

At your service

[miserycriz]

Originally Posted by genn

These five words will be always in our heart. I just need really need you ...as in need of support and the need to receive some one to hug . Also I really need you is used when is inevitable to get help for a task to be done.

I just really need you is also something that for many of us... is so hard to say... is so hard to aloud people to get so close, because of all the pain.. that pawe had in our past ,to those same people that we supposed to say I just really need you.

were are not there, or were there and never saw us.


In which way have you said I really need you

just genn

At your service

I know those words are words I need so badly to use and can't find a way to use them..They have often brought so much pain with them and sometimes the memories alone bring back pain....Today is a day i need to use those words and yet can't (sigh)
I guess I say I need you by acting in a very self harming way...Showing that I am in so much pain inside that I take it out on myself showing that I am in NEED of someone anyone's help...
Very good post Genn,
MC

[genn]

Originally Posted by miserycriz

I know those words are words I need so badly to use and can't find a way to use them..They have often brought so much pain with them and sometimes the memories alone bring back pain....Today is a day i need to use those words and yet can't (sigh)
I guess I say I need you by acting in a very self harming way...Showing that I am in so much pain inside that I take it out on myself showing that I am in NEED of someone anyone's help...
Very good post Genn,
MC

"I really need help"

I really need help are words that we have used before.
What do you think about those words?

I my case I really need help understanding about my past which still is hunting me

genn

[miserycriz]

Originally Posted by genn

"I really need help"

I really need help are words that we have used before.
What do you think about those words?

I my case I really need help understanding about my past which still is hunting me

genn

That's a huge one for us too!! needing help understanding the past??? It's so hard to ask for help in that area cuz I do not know what lies beyond that barrier and I do not know if I can handle what the "other's" know if that makes sense sigh... Then if I ask for help and what happens if I get it and then don't want it? So many a questions and uggg...This is so good your questions are so good..So simple yet so soul searching so very IMPORTANT to think about and to get the answers too... Sitting with you scratching my head thinking about these questions with you if that's okay
MC

[multipixie9]

by age 6 i dressed, fed myself and made my lunch for school many mornings because i needed to NOT ask for help in my house.

i know by age 9, i stopped asking for anything if i could help it. it wasn't safe. by age 12 when i sprained my ankle i took a blunt object and worsened the injury because i was afraid of what might happen after they took me to the doctor if the injury was not "bad enough to justify" the cost of going to the doctor.

over time i learned to forget my needs and do all i could to suppress asking anyone to meet my needs. and my T congratulated me yesterday on me being able to express my feelings openly and getting them "out" as she said. i've only been going to see her for 14 years now...

i've been married 28 years now and i find it very hard to ever ask for an emotional need to be met. help with taking the trash out or getting the oil changed in the car is one thing, but my real needs inside, nope he doesn't want to be asked and will not respond.

those are 5 words i do not know how to use in a healthy way. to ask is to feel shame or fear. i seldom ask. obviously i need to continue to go to T and work on things like that. hope you are quicker at it than i am. good luck on it.

leslie and pixies

[genn]

Originally Posted by miserycriz

I know those words are words I need so badly to use and can't find a way to use them..They have often brought so much pain with them and sometimes the memories alone bring back pain....Today is a day i need to use those words and yet can't (sigh)
I guess I say I need you by acting in a very self harming way...Showing that I am in so much pain inside that I take it out on myself showing that I am in NEED of someone anyone's help...
Very good post Genn,
MC

I hope this thread help you hon.. at least to think about it.

genn

[genn]

Originally Posted by miserycriz

That's a huge one for us too!! needing help understanding the past??? It's so hard to ask for help in that area cuz I do not know what lies beyond that barrier and I do not know if I can handle what the "other's" know if that makes sense sigh... Then if I ask for help and what happens if I get it and then don't want it? So many a questions and uggg...This is so good your questions are so good..So simple yet so soul searching so very IMPORTANT to think about and to get the answers too... Sitting with you scratching my head thinking about these questions with you if that's okay
MC

I hope hon you can answer those question in your journey hon

genn

"at your service"

[lizardlady]

Wow! This thread sure isn't about what I thought from the title.

In my case I learned early on not to ask for help because I wouldn't get it. Don't ask and you can't be disappointed.

Somewhere along the line I also learned that asking for help was a sign of weakness.

I still struggle with asking for help, whether it's emotional support/help or more concret stuff.

[genn]

those are 5 words i do not know how to use in a healthy way. to ask is to feel shame or fear. i seldom ask. obviously i need to continue to go to T and work on things like that. hope you are quicker at it than i am. good luck on it.

firts hon I see a person wich had a very painful in her live. I glad you start giong foward in your treatment by having a good respond to your T.

I hope these 5 words will help you learnd and let you know how to use them without getting hurt.

GEN

" at your service"

Originally Posted by multipixie9

by age 6 i dressed, fed myself and made my lunch for school many mornings because i needed to NOT ask for help in my house.

i know by age 9, i stopped asking for anything if i could help it. it wasn't safe. by age 12 when i sprained my ankle i took a blunt object and worsened the injury because i was afraid of what might happen after they took me to the doctor if the injury was not "bad enough to justify" the cost of going to the doctor.

over time i learned to forget my needs and do all i could to suppress asking anyone to meet my needs. and my T congratulated me yesterday on me being able to express my feelings openly and getting them "out" as she said. i've only been going to see her for 14 years now...

i've been married 28 years now and i find it very hard to ever ask for an emotional need to be met. help with taking the trash out or getting the oil changed in the car is one thing, but my real needs inside, nope he doesn't want to be asked and will not respond.

those are 5 words i do not know how to use in a healthy way. to ask is to feel shame or fear. i seldom ask. obviously i need to continue to go to T and work on things like that. hope you are quicker at it than i am. good luck on it.

leslie and pixies

[genn]

Originally Posted by lizardlady

Wow! This thread sure isn't about what I thought from the title.

In my case I learned early on not to ask for help because I wouldn't get it. Don't ask and you can't be disappointed.

Somewhere along the line I also learned that asking for help was a sign of weakness.

I still struggle with asking for help, whether it's emotional support/help or more concret stuff.

I know is hard for many of us to ask for help, specialy when we been hurt by the ones who suppose to be there, and thereven if they where there.. tought us to be independant at so early age when we need them the most. That's why many of us think to ask for help is a sign os weakeness

Hope hon you will find to the way to ask for help with feeling weak

genn
"at your service"

[Luce]

Genn, this is a little off topic, but can I ask what those words after your name "at your service" mean for you? I ask because they are really triggering for me, and I find it difficult to read your posts because of them, but if I know what the intention of them is, I might be able to help myself through that. I am NOT asking you to remove them - I am wholly responsible for my own reactions. If am hoping that if I know what YOU mean by them I will be able to work my own way through my trigger.

Thanks.