How to get the pictures and words out of our head and into verbal words?

OneOfMany · Feb 03, 2009, 01:43 PM

People tell many of us to talk about what we're feeling or what we remember, what we've been through, all that stuff. But we all seem to have the same answer, which is we don't know how to talk about it. One of us said it's like we have a puzzle in our head and there's so many words and pictures but we can't put them together so that they make sense and when we open our mouth to talk nothing comes out. Two of our littles have been expressing more. They both have been drawing, and one actually tried to explain one of her pictures that she drew to our friend. Lots of people seem to get upset and frustrated with us because we won't talk and they want us to, but how do we talk? Seems like none of us helps others as much as we used to since we've been trying to figure this out. Just feel worthless, can't do anything right. Like everyone wants us to talk and we are too stupid to get the words out, and when we try to help we say the wrong things. Feels like we deserved everything that happened. Sorry if I posted this in the wrong place. Layla

silver_moon · Feb 03, 2009, 03:36 PM

(((((((((((((((( OneOfMany ))))))))))))))))))))
Let me know if you find out?
First of all you are not stupid and didn't deserve what happened to you. Secondly, do you have a T? Your T can help you with expressing your thoughts hopefully.
I'm sorry you find it hard to express your thoughts, I can relate to that. I often feel like I 'know' what I want to say, but it doesn't come out (just like a nightmare, can't scream)
I hope you figure this out

Take care,
Molly

OneOfMany · Feb 03, 2009, 03:52 PM

No, we don't have a T we work too many hours in a day no T is available when we aren't working (at least not one in our price range or one that we've found). Thank you though for the reply.

Junerain · Feb 03, 2009, 05:49 PM

What about typing out what you have been through, what you have felt, get it out....HERE....there are many forums, such as survivors of abuse, and even dissociatives..I feel for you here...perhaps writing it out HERE where it is safe...you can begin..to put the puzzle back together

silver_moon · Feb 04, 2009, 10:22 AM

Here you can have a couple of hours out of work to see a T, is that not possible for you?

multipixie9 · Feb 05, 2009, 09:37 PM

dear one of many,

some of the bad people who hurt us did a thing called programming. it was training us a certain way of behaving so the bad people could hide what they were doing to us from police and people around us.

your difficulty in talking may have been "done" to keep you from telling one those who were bad to you. if you can do so, ask inside of you if someone Knows Why You Cant Talk? maybe you could write something down and tell your T about it, if you have one.

if nothing else you could begin to tell the others in you, "it is safe to talk now, we are grown up and those bad things are in our past, so please lets talk".

over a period of time, I have had bad programming fall apart or be de-programmed so i got free from some bad things in my past. i hope you can too, soon.

hugs if you want them,

leslie and her pixies

Rhapsody · Feb 05, 2009, 11:38 PM

For me it was keeping a journal that I wrote in that helped..... I would write for a month and then go back and read what I (we) wrote at the end of each month... I learned a lot this way and many alters came out to write with out me knowing it until all was read.

possum220 · Feb 06, 2009, 05:42 PM

Dear OneofMany

You certainly posted this in the right place. Your avatar is the key to the 'voices' coming out. It has to feel safe. I do have different voices that come out of my head though my mouth and its not in my normal voice and I am stuck behind those words. I don't know what they are saying. They only came out when they trust a person enough.

So basically its something you really cant force. Sometimes now I wish one of them would shut up. But I cant stop it.

Keep writing and drawing and relax. Maybe writing/drawing is their way of communicating? Its safe.

Possum

multipixie9 · Feb 07, 2009, 04:48 AM

hi again one of many and other posters. i read something today that confirmed for me that the "don't talk, don't tell" training comes early and harsh. you are not the only one i know who just can't get the words out when she is with anyone she doesn't feel very safe with. for her, that is 99.9% of people. we've had a phone friendship for about 15 years. we talk pretty freely and then not.

possum said it VERY well, it can't be forced - that actually locks it down tighter i think. however, like she said you can provide some space, safe space and tools and then just invite the insiders to talk or ask them some "leading questions" and give them some time. you are not alone, though it sure feels like it sometimes.

one of the hardest things i am seeking to learn is to be really kind to myself and to nurture myself. somehow, there is a way out and a life beyond.

leslie and her pixies

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How to get the pictures and words out of our head and into verbal words?

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