Uh oh help we made a mistake

multipixie9 · 03:35 PM

Oh no we just made a problem. No sleeps, and wrote a frend an she is in terribl pain. She rote us angry angry letter and we cutted ourself badder than we ever did before an we scard of wen fil gets home, owr counslr is vere sik and we so scard owr finggers shakin. Nobudy we can call who will help us. It hurts in owr hart and phil wil get mad at me and life sucks and i wish i was long far away. Tel me how to handle this

kids

I KNO U CANT HELP ME DO THIS. IS MY PROBLEM. MY RESPONSIBILITY. SOMEFIN JUST SNAPPED. WE ARE IN CHILD AREA AN THIS HIT SO MANY MANY BAD MEMORIES OF THINGS WHERE WE NEEDED HELP AND PEOPLE GOT SO MAD AND I HAD TV ON AN IT TRIGGERD US. ALL AT ONET IME. WE FINE. WE OK. DONT NEED NO EMAILS OR ANSWERS. IS OUR PROBLEM.

DianasClan · Feb 26, 2009, 07:10 PM

I understand that this may be your problem but we are here to support you. We also have a member of the clan who cuts. Make sure you take good care of the wounds. Your friend will mend and will get over being angry. If they are a good friend they will forgive you. As for the TV perhaps some one should monitor what is watched and things that are possible problems should be avoided. Please keep us posted on how you are doing.

Hugs to you all.

Denise of the Clan.

Crew · Feb 26, 2009, 09:37 PM

((((((((((Multipixie9))))))))

ThaCrew is so sorry you are having hard times. Guys stay safe and your in our thoughts. Hugger

ThaCrew

Sannah · Feb 27, 2009, 12:49 PM

Fuzzybear · Feb 27, 2009, 02:31 PM

multipixie9 · Feb 27, 2009, 06:24 PM

thank you peoples for being kind. life got scary. as we had thought we got interrogated by spouse when he got home. no sense of care, just anger and demanding to know if this was going to happen again and be a problem. we are so unhappy.

glad you all are here and we have friends in cyberspace.

onlymedid · Feb 27, 2009, 07:41 PM

Everyone makes mistakes.

I'm sorry Phil is not understanding. I wish he could. If I could make him, I would...just for you!

Keep it very clean. Wash it well, ok? Make sure you are using good bandages that keep it really clean. Infections would hurt worse, so make sure you have someone help you if you need it.

Sending you safe hugs if you want them.

notz · Feb 28, 2009, 10:24 PM

iamtwilight · Mar 01, 2009, 04:42 AM

oy - i'm sorry your husband did it again

i'm not quite sure why he is so intimidated by your struggles, it might be he has some of his own struggles too. (not trying to take sides here, just wondering

in many cases a not-so-good upbringing can create a.. well, an emotionally impaired person) i hope he will wake up and realize what you need is compassion and emotional support - not discipline and regulations.

sending you lots of hugs - you deserve them! (actually - hugs don't need to be "deserved" really. the fact that you're a human being is enough.)

twilight

turquoisesea · Mar 02, 2009, 12:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by multipixie9

t we got interrogated by spouse when he got home. no sense of care, just anger and demanding to know if this was going to happen again and be a problem.

sorry i didnt see this sooner, sending hugs and hoping you're doing better.

I wonder with the spouse, if you've talked to him about this, about how it makes you feel when he is angry. I can understand why he'd be upset, anytime after I do something bad to myself I get mad at myself later, because it's not a healthy thing, I don't WANT to be stuck doing it. But I have to learn that anger at it will NOT help the situation, maybe your spouse needs to learn that too.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((allthepixies))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Sannah · Mar 02, 2009, 10:01 AM

Leslie, can you tell Phil what you need in this type of situation???

multipixie9 · Mar 05, 2009, 11:40 AM

1. THANK ALL OF YOU SWEET, KIND FOLKS. YOUR WORDS POURED SOOTHING MEDICINE ON MY WOUNDED HEART AND MIND. I DO APPRECIATE YOUR ENCOURAGEMENT AND GUIDANCE.

WE ARE TRYING TO RECOVER. THE GOOD THAT CAME FROM THIS BAD IS WE DID RECOGNIZE ANOTHER PROGRAM. WE WERE TRAINED TO RESPOND WITH THE BLUNT TRUTH WHEN ABUSERS DEMANDED AN ANSWER, PHIL ACCIDENTALLY TRIGGERED THIS PROGRAM BY HIS DEMANDS TO KNOW WHAT I HAD DONE AND WHY. SO, I CAN GET HELP TO DISMANTLE THIS OTHER PIECE OF PROGRAMMING. THAT MAKES AT LEAST 6 PROGRAMS DISCOVERED AND IT WILL HELP US GET FREE OF THEM WITH SOME HELP.

SANNAH, I STILL CAN NOT SEEM TO TELL PHIL WHAT I NEED OR WHAT WOULD HELP. I'M GUESSING A LOT OF PROGRAMMING IS TO DO JUST THIS - MESS UP THINGS BETWEEN ME AND THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE CLOSEST AND MATTER SO MUCH. BUT I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT ONCE THE PROGRAM IS RECOGNIZED IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE GOD WILL HELP ME DISMANTLE THE INDOCTRINATION AND REPLACE IT WITH GENUINE TRUTH AND HEALTHY THINKING.

SO, EVEN THIS BAD MISTAKE AND UNPLEASANT RESPONSE WILL TURN OUT FOR GOD IN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS NOW THAT MY COUNSELOR IS OVER PNEUMONIA AND FLU.

I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU, YOUR KINDNESS MATTERS MORE THAN I HAVE WORDS TO SPEAK. THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE WHEN SOME HAVE ABANDONED ME IN NEED. I HOPE I CAN DO THE SAME FOR YOU ALL IF YOU NEED HELP AND KIND WORDS. HUGS

LESLIE AND HER PIXIES

turquoisesea · Mar 05, 2009, 04:22 PM

((((((((((((((((((((((((((leslie and the pixies))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Jewels · Mar 05, 2009, 06:03 PM

(((((((((((((((((((( Leslie and all the pixies ))))))))))))))))))))

we r thinkin bout u an prayin for u...

abbi of jewels

DianasClan · Mar 05, 2009, 07:23 PM

Thank you so much for the update. We are glad that you found a reason for what happened. We hope that Phil will understand and be supportive. We are here for you and will continue to support you.

Hugs

Denise of the Clan

Fuzzybear · Mar 06, 2009, 11:40 AM

(((((((((((((( leslie and the pixies ))))))))))))))

Sannah · Mar 06, 2009, 01:14 PM

Yeah! I am so glad that you are discovering all of the programming!!!!!! Good work!!!!!!!

Mar 06, 2009, 01:49 PM

(((((( leslie & pixies ))))) thinking of you and always wishing you well.

multipixie9 · Mar 08, 2009, 08:47 PM

thank you all again. i do appreciate you. it is nice of you to take a few minutes and write something kind and encouraging. i found out this week in time with my T that the alt who cut was mute and that is why she acted when her feelings got unbearable and did not give me words or time to negotiate a better response to feeling rejected.

i just wish i could find a way to talk to each other inside and develop some cooperative ways to operate together. we still have what i call a blind system and can't see each other or organize and that is what really torments the adult me. plus i feel i could help the younger alts if we had some systematic construction inside of me. i want structure for us all.

turquoisesea · Mar 08, 2009, 10:41 PM

*hugs multipixie*

I'm sure you can find a way - you're such an advocate for them, that alone will help you so much. Sending hugs, ~turquoisesea

iamtwilight · Mar 09, 2009, 04:52 AM

turquoise is right. how great you discovered the program and recognized how it works! wishing you all the best and keeping you in my thoughts!

lots of hugs from
twilight

Sannah · Mar 09, 2009, 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by multipixie9

i found out this week in time with my T that the alt who cut was mute and that is why she acted when her feelings got unbearable and did not give me words or time to negotiate a better response to feeling rejected.

i just wish i could find a way to talk to each other inside and develop some cooperative ways to operate together. we still have what i call a blind system and can't see each other or organize and that is what really torments the adult me. plus i feel i could help the younger alts if we had some systematic construction inside of me. i want structure for us all.

Leslie and Pixies, I am glad that you have discovered this info about one of the Pixies! I am sure that you will work through these goals that you have stated. Please keep us informed of your progress?

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