Reply to Marilyn58

Marilyn you asked (in the contest thread) :
how can u tell if someone has muple personitlies or just faking it?I have a freind that I feel as more than 1 personality and he as been this way for at 13 yrs I have knowen him.He use to drink heavly but now he is on a high drug call R-tain.I feel like the drug making him owrse than the drinking had done.Now all he does is do nothing but take is r tan and sleep.He recently broke off with a woman who wouldnt leave him alne,no matter how much my friend told her he couldnt stand her the more she would hang around ,plus she mannage to get him throwen out of his apartment hes been living in for almost 5 yrs.Now hes living in a dump.I wont hang around him because I never know when 1 of his other friends in his head that do not like me maybe out and about.So for my own safty I try to stay away from him and hi daughter she as the same problem as her dad.She is almost 20.Its hard to beleive that a person can have more than 1 personatly.Thats what I want to know and how it does happen.I love this like no other but because of the threats the other personalty as done to me in the pass since qe became friends as alarm me to stay away alot but then now that hes mostly alone he will call me want to see me and a friendship of 13 yrs is hard to give up but I had to for my own health issuses.can you help me in some way to understand his mental health problem?I wished it could be reversed and he could be wel and happy.I just do not see that ever happening.In order for to happens,I feel like hes the one who as to try and help himself.He also has anxitly disorder and despression disorder and he just became a diabetic 2.I am also but most the time I have mine under controll.Thank you for reading this and taking the time to do so.marilyn58
Marilyn, I'm wondering what "difference" it would make if you were sure he was suffering with DID or some other disorder (as you mentioned some others also) ????

I think you've made a good decision for yourself to not engage in friendship with them at this time, at least until you are in a better place. And, while it can occur, generally one does not see two members of the same family with DID.

How does DID occur? Wow, there is a lot of information "out there" about it, but basically it's the function of an intelligent mind creating a coping mechanism. When overwhelmed with an event that could have or should have killed someone, the mind divides that off somehow...walls it off ...and with it the capacity for part of itself to maintain an aspect to cope with the memory.

Naturally, as the name implies, it is a form of dissociation. We all dissociate...zone out when driving for instance, or when in a boring classroom and begin looking out the window...spacing out in day dreams. The main difference with DID is that the person might not have what we call "continuity" of events or time when they dissociate (because of that wall the brain/mind built.) When that continuity is lost, then the person won't necessarily recall what they said or did previously.

There are many people who cope in different ways, and I wouldn't be too quick to judge that any one person has DID. There are other disorders (such as Bipolar Disorder) that also make a person "look" like 2 different people at times.

If you wish to continue this friendship, why not do so over the phone only for a while. Be there as a friend, but at a safe distance for the time being. Good wishes!

Hi Marilyn,

I think _Sky has said all that needs to be said to explain a basic view of DID. I certainly couldn't do it better. I do believe that more than just one person in a family could be DID if the abuse/trauma level is high and affects all the children - for example in cult-abuse.

You can't fix anyone and it is wise to limit contact if he is not safe. If you do choose to keep a phone friendship then be sure to put down some boundaries of what you will and will not accept while talking and keep them. I had to do that when my alcoholic brother would call. I refused to take calls in the middle of the night or if he got abusive in his language.

Anyone with DID is a person filled with pain and bad experiences they have had a hard time dealing with. Many of us who are DID have a hard time being friends with others because issues can come up unexpectedly and make problems. I guess you must do what you feel is best and go from there. I wish you well.

Leslie and her Pixies