Don't want to go!!!

Don't want to go...DON'T WANT TO GO!!!!

Meeting new T tomorrow.

DON'T WANT NEW T. WANT MY T I HAVE. DONT WANT TO TALK TO SOMEONE NEW

She won't like us

She'll laugh.

She won't understand us. NONE OF HER BUSINESS ANYWAY!!

STUPID FOR BRINGING UP OTHERS. SHOULD HAVE JUST KEPT THE FAT MOUTH SHUT...THEN WOULDN'T HAVE TO LEAVE T.

NO NO NO!!!

Maybe we go away and pretend none of it is real. We say just made it up. We ignore ourselves and keep hiding.

DAMN!!!

T won't let us!!! Probably wants us gone. Gonna do the fricken happy dance after the last session she will. Been tryin to get rid of us for long time. Keeps coming up with reasons she can't treat us. Now she says she doesn't treat DID but she was fine treating us when we just had PTSD with dissociation.

STUPID!!!! FRICKEN STUPID!!! SO PISSED. NEED TO YELL!!! Others sayin SHUT UP AMBER. STOP CAUSING PROBLEMS!!!

I'M NOT THE ONE THAT TOLD...THE ONE THAT TOLD SHOULD SHUT UP!!! STUPID!!!

Everyone scared...cryin. NOT ME...NOT SCARED. MAD MAD MAD!!

Want to throw soemthign. Don't care anymore. DON'T CARE ANYMORE!!

I'M NOT GONNA TALK TO STUPID NEW T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry you're scared. Where I don't want to go is acknowledge any disowned parts of myself.

None. I don't want the label, I don't want to be part of the club, I don't want my therapist telling me I can get over the stigma.

I would rather DIE than acknowledge my splitting.

((((((((((((((((((Elysium)))))))))))))) I'm so sorry. I hope new T will be great. I understand fear of new things though. Please take gentle care.

hun - breathe - it will be ok. you do not need to hide any. you can get through this.

I hear you, don't blame you at al for anger, fear , any of it! And that's something you can tell both the old T and the new T! They must realize how difficult this is!
I lost my T of 10 years, last year. Devastated. We argued, ended badly, never wanted it to end. New T is nice, very nice, but I will never forget. things like this really suck! but what can we do? If we, any of us, want to get better, we need to figure out how to keep it about us and not the ones that will not be forever. Sad for you. I'm trying, but only as hard as I feel I can. I will think of you tomorrow and send calm, caring thoughts. Let us know how it goes, if you can, when you can.

We all here with you Elysium3006

Can you hear us? Even though scarry, remember we support you.

Hold on hands with all of us.

IS

It's Ok, maybe you will like this new T. I had to get a new T before, it's scarey. But I like the new one. We keep our fingers crossed for good luck.

i know. SO hard! Hope you go though and try. Need to myself. Scary. Hope things work out wonderfully. Sorry no more words...know i care.

WOW!!

Uh...I apologize for that!!

That's not happened like that before....?

There are some internal struggles going on with the idea of meeting with our new T....obviously, but I didn't expect this...

This was very strange for me. I can sort of remember typing this but it seems very far away, like it wasn't real? I know this was Amber coming through with her tantrum, she's never typed something before...I don't think? And then James came out and I couldn't talk for about 3 hours...all I could do was cry and sulk.......strange. New I was gone....but couldn't get myself back. They wouldn't let me come back!!

Does that make sense? It's never happened quite like this before!!!

I do want to thank you all for your support though. Usually I am much stronger, I guess???

it makes sense to me. its okay it happens to many of us. no need to apologize. still here for all of you Elysium.

I know how you feel.
we've been through at least four theripists, and none of them understand us.
I hope your case will be different.
Erik