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#26
Oct 04, 2013, 05:00 PM
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here is where I get flamed......
according to the test on this site, I am not addicted. personal feelings, I might be addicted. in my case, I have always thought I was addicted to sex. and since I did not want to be a sexual preditor I turned to masturbation. after awhile that wasn't enough. so I turned to porn to masturbate to. fast forward many many years. am I addicted to sex and use porn/masturbation to control it? am I addicted to porn because it gets me exited? or am I addicted to masturbation and use porn to make it happen? at this point I do not know any more. the point of all this is to ( I hope) give you all a little understanding of the other side. every bit of advice you got on the last 3 pages I encourage you to act upon. that being said speaking strictly for myself porn is made for one purpose and one purpose only, to tittelate the male of the species. to put it more simply..... eye candy designed to make that member stand at attention and beg for release. as men are visual, and women are more intellectual/emotional about sex for a man seeing is doing. why else do you think men of all kinds gravitate to the attrictive woman in the crowd. it is the fantasy, the raw lust. that is what porn gives me, and my outlet for myself is masturbation. when I got married this last time she knew that I wached it and relieved my self. and as she is one of those women that does not want to have sex she told me (before we married) she would allow me to continue. I don't flaunt it, but I don't hide it either. as a result of what I consider my addiction I have not had sex for over 10 years which is very difficult for someone like me who has been proven to be oversexed. the moral of this tale is this: "IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!" you are right to be concerned, but please take everyones advice and look after yourself first! then if there is anything left, you can think about your significant other. (man that was hard to admit, and also the first time I have told anyone the how and why of my tightly controlled way to avoid becoming a sexual preditor. my desire (unreasonable drive) is to have as much sex as possible. the roots go a lot deeper, but that is a story for another time. is this way of controlling it destructive to me? most likely, but it does "keep me off the streets" where I have to control my self. (I have such tight control that I will not even speak to a woman unless she addresses me first.))
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why me? what did I do to deserve being treated this way? and for 54 years yet!  The guy who seemed unbreakable BROKE, the guy who always laughed STOPPED, the guy who never stopped trying finally GAVE UP, he dropped the fake smile as a tear rolled down his cheek and he whispered "i cant do this anymore" then collapsed and gave up the ghost. Last edited by Skywoulf; Oct 04, 2013 at 05:18 PM. Reason: edit |
 doyoutrustme, NWgirl2013, ShaggyChic_1201
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#27
Oct 04, 2013, 05:20 PM
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hope you guys/gals realize just how hard that was for me to write.
.gif "Sad Boy") 
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why me? what did I do to deserve being treated this way? and for 54 years yet! The guy who seemed unbreakable BROKE, the guy who always laughed STOPPED, the guy who never stopped trying finally GAVE UP, he dropped the fake smile as a tear rolled down his cheek and he whispered "i cant do this anymore" then collapsed and gave up the ghost. Last edited by Skywoulf; Oct 04, 2013 at 05:20 PM. Reason: misspelling |
| NWgirl2013
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#28
Oct 16, 2013, 10:44 PM
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I don't get this.
Why do you call it a "porn addiction"? Is his usage of porn at some extreme level where it consumes all his time and he is neglecting things to look at porn? In general I mean, I know various men married and in relationships, and I know for a fact they all look at porn. I personally would not consider it a problem as long as their usage of porn is not extreme. Honestly every guy I know pretty much looks at porn. My brother is married and has a huge collection on his computer! Indeed various women I know (some in relationships) look at porn, though probably not as much as the men. I personally would not consider it anything like cheating, but if your husbands use is totally obsessed or something, and like that is all he cares about- then yes he has a problem! I hope you both do your best to work this issue out. |
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#29
Oct 19, 2013, 10:29 AM
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Since you asked for a leave or stay answer, I will say: LEAVE.
I base this on my experience of 25 years married to a porn addict who was always giving it up... Always getting over it. Always. Oh yeah, before we married he stated that he 'had' a problem with porn. "HAD" notice the past tense? Well, it manifested itself in our marriage in many ways and worked to destroy me and three kids who never asked for it. LEAVE. If you would like more details I am happy to discuss this fully. FYI, I had a lot of body dimorphic issues as well. Hugs to you. I am sorry for your horrible discovery.  HourHand |
 Skywoulf
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| H3rmit, Skywoulf
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#30
Oct 24, 2013, 12:39 PM
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My wife enjoys the Fifty Shades of Grey books. Is this the same?
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#31
Nov 13, 2013, 11:34 PM
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Quote:
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| H3rmit
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#32
Nov 13, 2013, 11:37 PM
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Quote:
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
I'm devastated. He told me that he has been "battling" this for years and it has nothing to do with me....like he expects me to just accept it. On the other hand, he has been threatening to leave me and becoming very angry and harsh when I have been refusing to let him touch me and when I have crying/angry outburts since I found out about his "secret". I asked him why would he choose a woman on a screen and his hand over my body. All he can say is "She was available and you were not". Then I ask him why would he choose to look at another woman when he could have just used my pictures online to please himself instead. His response "looking at your pictures makes me angry, I have tried it". 
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