[Pieturli]

Do you think it is easier to get over someone you ended on bad terms with, or the other way around? I just got dumped a few days ago and feel really bad. We had started talking things over a month ago. She said that her feelings had pretty much gone away. We both know that the falling in love-phase never lasts in a relationship, but she was sure it wasn't just that. We tried to get it back for about a month but got nowhere, and now its over. She says she still cares about me and maybe even loves me in a way, just not in the way you love a boyfriend. I can understand that.

We also decided that we want to be on good terms, even me. I don't want to be completely dead to her and she doesn't want to be dead to me. Now I do realize that I can't exactly be on good terms for a while now, even though we did not end the relationship due to fights or cheating or whatnot. I know that we will never be good friends in the future, and that we will never be a couple again, but I do want us to be able to (for example) talk sometime in the future without it being all awkward. Am I just making excuses not to let go? What do you guys think, is it harder to let go if the break up was "the best way to go" or if it ended in tears?

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hello pieturli,

Welcome to pc. I personally think it is better to be on good terms, that way there is no crap to work through.

But things could never have ended on good terms with my ex-husband and I. He is a class A rat-b*stard no good cheating SOB who deserves nothing of what he got and deserves to be a swigging wino ...

Having said that only you can decide

[Pieturli]

Thanks for the welcome and reply

I'd always venture that in the end, good terms is better than bad terms. It might be tougher to let go since there was no cheating or anything of that nature, but I guess it will get better as I go along..

[Leed]

I wouldn't know. I NEVER ended on good terms with anyone. LOL It was always bad. I guess I would have to assume that good would HAVE to be better than bad, cause that's awful!! My ex husband stalked me, called me all hours of the night, etc. So good sounds good! LOL Just give it a little time - not too long or it WILL get awkward. Best of luck and God bless. Hugs, Lee

Hello, Pieturli. I expect good terms is better provided you are not harboring thoughts of reconciliation.

[Pieturli]

Pretty much my thoughts exactly. Of course I wish we could get back together at this stage, but it's most likely never going to happen, and if we did, it wouldn't work. I suppose I have to keep my distance till I'm over her and then see how it all feels.