I'm getting a divorce

After nine years of marriage it has been decided that things just haven't worked out.

Mostly the cause is sexual incompatibility, we have much different ideas on bedroom activities.

I'm both shocked, relieved and terrified. I've never been divorced before. Oh, and...Happy New Year.

I am going through a divorce too, Baltazar. I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. The emotions do go all over the place, don't they? Happy New Year, I hope 2011 brings you better things.

My emotions are in shock. Part of me knows this is the right thing and part of me is just dead.

Baltazar, I have been legally divorced for a year now. The divorce process itself can be wrenching, even when the two spouses get along OK. I would suggest not hesitating to slow down the process if you need to--if your spouse is on board with that of course. You can be separated, living separate and independent lives, etc., while still not being completely divorced. So if you can slow those legal wheels when you need to, sometimes you can avoid a lot of pain and harm, especially (but not only) when there are children.

Yeah. The process needs to be very slow. The good thing is we are talking about stuff we never have before. Yesterday was so hard. Today is a little better.

My current hubby and his ex wife went to marriage guidance while going through the divorce to help with closure and it really helped them both.

Perhaps this is something you can consider with your hubby ?

We talked about that last night and that is something we are going to look into. Finances are tight and I'm not sure if our insurance covers this but I think it's a good idea.

Hugs!!!

Baltazar, my XH and I did this too. Our therapist called it "uncoupling therapy." We found it very helpful. Most insurance will not cover couples therapy, but sometimes a therapist will bill the session as an individual session to one of the couple, and insurance will reimburse for that.