[channic1]

I am in a very difficult situation at the moment. I was in a long term relationship with my ex the mother of my child for over 10 years. Lets just say that things did not work out and I decided that I could not be in a relationship just for the sake of my Son anymore.

Having ended the relationship with great difficulty I then tried to move on and met somebody who I thought was wonderful and perfect for me. It was a very rocky relationship and I could never progress things further because my ex would not accept the fact that I truly wanted to move on and so she would make things unbearable between us because she could not accept this new women in my life. I was unable to spend time with her on weekends because I would have to look after my son and my ex would not let my new girlfriend be around him.

Anyway needless to say our relationship starting to get very difficult, I was with here for almost a year and I would constantly be breaking up with her one minute and getting back with her the next. This carried on like this for months. I started to become very confused about what I really wanted. I would find any excuse not to be with her. I would say that it was her and her personality and that she was selfish. The truth is she really treated me very well and far better that any other I have known. I have had a stroke of bad luck so far this year and I even lost my job. I broke up with her again but this would prove to be the last time. I have now found work quite quickly luckly however I have not seen my ex girlfriend for a month and it is now were I am feeling really lost. She has changed and no longer wants to be with me or even try again. I really do miss her now and cant stop thinking about her all the time. I am filled with so many emotions, one minute I blame myself then I blame her and I even blame for the mother of my child as she never made things become easy for us.

I just want to forget her as I know it would be better for me in the long term, but no matter how hard I try I keep coming back to a depression. It hurts to know that she could now be with somebody else and I feel as though my time spent with her was all a waste and lies. I dont want to go out and try and get a social life again as I feel really low at the moment.

No point trying to speak to her anymore she has made up her mind and I truly wish her all the best because she deserves it and I guess I pushed her away one time too many, its just a shame that I cant seem to move on like she has and I dont know what to do but I feel that if I dont do something soon I will start getting very ill over this situation.

Any help will be really appreciated.

[Leed]

I'm sorry this was so difficult for you. It sounds like your ex made things very hard in this relationship.

First, you have to set some boundaries with the mother of your son! She has no RIGHT to interfere with any subsequent relationships you have!! It's none of her business who you see --- unless of course this new woman is a crackhead or something -- you wouldn't want your son around anyone like that! LOL Other than that, she needs to stay OUT of your personal life. Set some boundaries! Tell her that she needs to keep her nose OUT or else you'll get a restraining order where she can have NO contact with you or your friends! And if she keeps your son from you, you'll take her to court and take him away from her. Too many women use the kids as pawns!!

I wish you the very best. Try to "get out" there and meet new friends. Don't isolate --- that's what your ex wants you to do. She wants you to be unhappy. Don't let her win!!! God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee