multiple issues

Hi, I am kinda new here. I really hate to unload on ya"ll, but I can't talk to anyone here. I recently found out that my husband of 11 years was molesting my daugher for 7-8 of those. I am all about protecting my kids. However, I am not dealing with the fact that I have also been decieved and lost my partner in life as well. I am so overwhelmed. This is devastating for so many people on so many levels. It is really hard to be the one that has to be strong for everyone.

How old is your daughter? Is she living with you? If so, get her out of the house immediately! Leave! It is not safe to be there. Can you stay overnight with a friend? You have no obligation to stay with the molester. You can start legal proceedings later but leave the home now for your daughter's sake.

If your daughter is grown and gone, the immediacy is not the same. You can think about whether you want to press charges for what happened in the past, and also if you want to stay in the marriage. It would be completely understandable if you wanted out.

Good luck.

Thanks Sunrise. I immediately kicked my husband out. I thought he should leave and not the other 3 of us. He even admitted what he did. I changed the locks and reported everything to the police. We are living in Nebraska now and the police won't charge him because my daughter does not remember him doing anything to her here, only when we lived in South Carolina. HE told me that the last time was here (In Nebraska), but it is my word against his. I also had my younger daughter interviewed by professionals to see if they thought there was any problems with her. They did not seem to think he had molested her. She is also his biological daughter. This is just a dang mess. My daughter is in therapy, but says she does not want to go and doesn't like the therapist. I don't think she would like any therapist! She doesn't want to think or talk about it. She says she just wants to move on with her life.

oh, and she is 17. This evidently occured between the ages of 7 to around 15. arrgg

Hi. I am so sorry that you are going through this right now. How devastating & heart-breaking. Please remember to get help, not only for your daughter, but also for yourself. If you are the one who has to stay strong, then you will need some professional assistance to help with keeping you strong. As well as your daughter, you need some good counselling also - not just over the molestation, but also over the loss of your "partner". It's ok to grieve the loss of your relationship (not the man), while still helping your daughter get through this. My thoughts & good wishes are with you & your daughter to start healing now. Take care xo