[fedup1]

Okay, here is a quick description of my current situation....I am married have four children am 4 months pregnant. I am currently a business owner and have a small shop that I have been running for two years. I am getting ready to close the shop and go out of business because 1) I'm pregnant and will not be able to run shop by myself with newborn 2) I have been thinking about closing shop anyways because no matter how hard/long I work I can barely profit with the overhead plus daycare for 4 soon to be 5 children 3) I would prefer to be a stay at home mom again feeling like other people are basically raising my children and not spending enough time with them. I want a divorce from my husband, I realize that in y state you cannot get a divorce while pregnant you have to wait until baby is born and paternity established. So, for now I would like a separation and for my husband to move out of the house until we can get a divorce. He makes 100k a year and would not have difficulty in being able to afford a place of his own. Problem is, he doesn't want a divorce and refuses to leave, so what do I do? What are my options? I feel completely trapped and extremely deppressed and unhappy? Does anyone have any advice?????

[Leed]

That IS a problem. Unless you can prove physical abuse and have him physically removed, there's not much you can do to get him out of there.

Apartments are almost impossible to find with 5 kids! And they wouldn't be large enough anyway. And besides, most landlords don't want kids in their apartments. Can you afford to rent a house? That would be ideal. I'm sure you could find a moderate sized house to rent. If he could afford to pay your rent along with child support, that would be great!

May I ask why you want the divorce? Is he abusive to you? Does he abuse the kids? Is he a workaholic?

Will marriage counseling not work or have you already tried it? It would be a tragedy to break this marriage up with 5 kids being hurt. Kids are ALWAYS the ones who get hurt in a divorce. It always happens.

I hope whatever happens works out for the best. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

[Perna]

I would wait until after you have the baby to sort out a separation/divorce. Do you have enough room in your house to make your own space? It will be stressful enough for you closing down your business and being pregnant/having the baby to not throw getting him out of the house into the mix. I would make sure you have income/joint credit/banking, etc. so when the time comes you have some leverage? Just wanting something (to stay home with the children) cannot make it happen. Even married one cannot force another person to do what we want. Work on an equitable plan that gives him something he may want so he has a reason to want to leave?

[Thor_Odinson]

To give any kind of advice, you would have to reveal why you want the divorce in the first place...

[fedup1]

Originally Posted by Thor_Odinson

To give any kind of advice, you would have to reveal why you want the divorce in the first place...

If you want to know why I want a divorce read my threads, shocked is this crossing the line???? Is this what I think?? And if you want to know even more read sorry so long but its a long story.......If you read them all I would love a mans opinion of it all and if you think this qualifies for grounds for divorce.....thanks for listening!

[sunrise]

You want a divorce and you also want to be a stay at home mom. It is going to be pretty hard to stay at home with your kids once you are single. You'll be working to help support your children. If at all possible, can you put the divorce on hold for a year or so? Get the baby born and off to a good start. In the meantime, think of the future and what you will need to do to get a good job, since you are giving up your business. Shore up job skills, if necessary. Build up your job search network.

Also, you can do a divorce in a way that doesn't have a lot of negative impact on the kids. For that, you will need to be mature and have a husband who is on board with a civil and cooperative approach. I am really proud of the way my ex-husband and I did our divorce and like to give others the message that divorce need not be awful.

Good luck, fedup. My ex-husband had a porn problem too, and it is a relief not to be around that anymore.