[southafrican]

My life has in the last year went from heaven to a total nightmare. My husband and i are married for 4 years now and we are 9 years apart in age. He has had other marriages/ relationships before me which gave him three kids(all different mothers). Im the youngest women, the rest were all older than him. The first 2 years was a dream. Then he starting bringing his family into our lives and things went crazy. His lies and lack of physical behaviour with me suggests that he was having an affair. However i cant prove it. I took out a divorce but i didnt see it through. But no matter what i do, his ways suggest that he dont love me anymore. His business is away from home so i hardly see him, and he dont call and if he does it is for 1 min. I have two kids with him and he wont even speak with them. All signs say i should just leave him and get over it. My issue is, i am financially dependent on him. Im trying to get a job at present. But the emotional side is the problem. I am depressed and cant see any thing positive. Please help me to be strong again

[Travelinglady]

Hello, I can tell you are having a rough situation, and I can certainly understand your unhappiness about this so-called marriage. It sounds like this man just doesn't like to stay with one woman for very long.

Have you been able to talk to him at all about your unhappiness? I gather, though, from what you think, that he wouldn't be too upset about it.....

Yes, the money situation is a problem, especially with two children by him to take care of. I agree with you that your best bet is to try to get a job. I know you haven't been able to yet, but please keep trying. If you can't get anything away from home, might you be able to earn some money by doing work from home? Think about your talents and skills. Once you get stable that way, then you would be able to live without his money.

In the meantime, we have places here where you can talk to people who understand what it's like to be alone and in bad relationships. And you can make some friends to talk to, so anything you say won't get back to your husband. We are here to listen and to provide support. Okay?

(Let me know if you have difficulty finding such places here. After 5 acceptable posts, you can join social groups, and those might be the best places to share.)

I know there are other people here who are divorced or who are in bad relationships. Maybe they will post soon, so you can begin having other people to talk with in this forum, too.

Hi, I am going through something similar. Have realized that my husband (seperated) has been lying, no affection, talking to and possibly more, with other women. I was trying to make things work because of our son. I'm sorry to hear that he won't speak to your kids. Payne had great advice. There is also a depression forum, which is where I started to post. It may help you.