Dealing with religious leaders

Let's see, the Rabbi states you are in a toxic relationship, but errs against divorce feeling that with intervention, your H will change?
Hmmm, coaxing, getting a personality disorder prognosis, going sober, etc...didn't change the toxicity that my exh brought into the marital home.
Some old dogs cannot be taught new tricks.
But with this out there, with your reaching out for spiritual guidance, what will you end up choosing?
~F~

Guess where I'll be going for services from now on?
Bub[/quote]

Great story! And good for you for getting the firearms out of your house!

Oh, no question about my allegience. I'm sticking with the small town pastor who is standing by me without questioning my loyalty, salvation or morality.

To wrap up the rabbi story, he called me and asked me to participate in a phone call/email with H so that WE could confront H about his bad behavior and see if he was going to be accountable for his actions, and thus ensure his salvation.

I decined this most generous offer and gave two reasons for doing so. First - I did not want H to misconstrue that if he did X and Y, I would change my mind about divorce. My mind is made up. Second, H's salvation is H's issue and nothing I can control. H has a conscience, as evidenced by the fact that he has apologized for his misdeeds countless times (tho once a month for eight years, he has tried to convince me to participate in the atrocious behavior, so perhpas I overstate his conscience). H doesn't need my involvement to confess his sins, repent and resolve to never do these things again. So I told rabbi that if he wanted to work with H, that was between the two of them, but I would not be involved.

Boundary drawn and enforced. Man I love therapy!

Have you ever been abused, liveforfish?