[Gemini27]

I recently posted for the first time on here, so here's post #2. Long story short, I'm facing divorce after 6 years of being married to my husband. I had an affair, and it was all downhill from there. The affair turned into a full blown secret relationship, and I got really attached. Right now I am considering leaving my husband for this person. I read somewhere that during the infatuation state of an affair, the brain releases a chemical equal to that of being hooked on cocaine. And boy do I believe that! My world is upside down. I'm a mess and I can't think clearly. I know my husband is a one in a million guy. We were GREAT together for 8 years. He is willing to do whatever it possibly takes to forgive me and move past this, I don't want to face the devastation of divorce, and losing my best friend and partner for life. My husband is heart broken, an absolute wreck over this. I feel like I'm making a huge mistake by ending my marriage and starting a new relationship. Has anyone ever been in this situation? I've received advice from both points of view, but I guess what I'm looking for is someone who can speak from experience to either tell me that I'm making a huge mistake I will regret, or otherwise. Any advice or words of experience would be really appreciated.

[eskielover]

I know my husband is a one in a million guy.

So why did you have the affair in the first place?

Nothing good can come from an affair IMO.....that chemical that's messing up your thought process isn't going to help you in making a wise decision.

Giving up something that for sure is good for something that has no sureness at all other than a thrill & lust with no sure ending to your happiness.....so you divorce your husband & this other guy dumps you....then where will you be????

Do you really want a guy like that who isn't a one in a million???? You know your future with your husband....you have no sure future other than that.

I left my H because it was a seriously bad marriage...but I didn't leave for another man....I left to be alone & take care of myself, something that my H never was able to do.

[hamster-bamster]

You got a Judgment of Solomon - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia on your original thread - have you thought of applying it (no contact with either man)?

[Leed]

Wow, I think you're making a HUGE mistake. You're in the "honeymoon" stage of your affair, but that will end, believe me.

You are SO lucky that your husband -- who is "one in a million" -- is willing to forgive you and work past this. He sounds like a wonderful guy, and that he loves you to death! Bless his heart, I think you should hold onto him with everything you have!!!

This guy you've been seeing will throw you over for someone else -- wait and see. If he was willing to break up a marriage, he's not going to stop there. He'll move on to someone else, and perhaps break up another marriage. He does NOT have good morals/ethics.

You're right -- you're making a huge mistake. Go to marriage counseling, and find out what made this happen in the first place. Or else YOU go to counseling, cause I'm not sure your husband even needs it!!!

Sweetie, please don't destroy this marriage that you two were so good in together for 8 years!!! You two BELONG together. Yes, you made a mistake, but your husband is willing to forgive/forget and how many husbands can do that? You've got a gem there!

God bless and please keep us posted, will you? We DO CARE! Hugs, Lee

[healingme4me]

You have a husband, that is willing to forgive and move on, and I'd presume marriage counseling is something that could be in the cards. There's some well-renowned marriage counselors out there that have the ingredients to help couples who have struggled with affairs.

With that said, I get what Leed means about the potential for this Other Man to drop you, if you were to leave for him. On another side of that, if you did leave your husband for him, and your O.M. isn't the type to go around being the third party to marriages, then there's that remote issue, actually major issue of 'trust'. Would your O.M., be able to trust you, in such a relationship? Wondering, if you wouldn't in turn, pull the same with him?

When there is a lack of trust, like that, there comes the risk of him getting jealous and possessive. And being in a relationship where the other party fears losing you, due to those feelings, isn't a fun one, I can tell you that.

What brought you to this place in life, where you ended up having an affair when your husband is 'one in a million'? Was there something there, that wasn't being met for you? How did you end up meeting with your O.M.?

[divorceddad0705]

Originally Posted by Gemini27

I recently posted for the first time on here, so here's post #2. Long story short, I'm facing divorce after 6 years of being married to my husband. I had an affair, and it was all downhill from there. The affair turned into a full blown secret relationship, and I got really attached. Right now I am considering leaving my husband for this person. I read somewhere that during the infatuation state of an affair, the brain releases a chemical equal to that of being hooked on cocaine. And boy do I believe that! My world is upside down. I'm a mess and I can't think clearly. I know my husband is a one in a million guy. We were GREAT together for 8 years. He is willing to do whatever it possibly takes to forgive me and move past this, I don't want to face the devastation of divorce, and losing my best friend and partner for life. My husband is heart broken, an absolute wreck over this. I feel like I'm making a huge mistake by ending my marriage and starting a new relationship. Has anyone ever been in this situation? I've received advice from both points of view, but I guess what I'm looking for is someone who can speak from experience to either tell me that I'm making a huge mistake I will regret, or otherwise. Any advice or words of experience would be really appreciated.

Short and simple... You are making a huge mistake. Definitely try and wirk it out. The question is do you want to work things out ? Are you still in love with ur husband ? If so , You need to stick to ur marriage as you allready know how he is. . Ur affair will end being in the honeymoon stage soon. dont make a mistake u will regrete.