[pointfive]

I met him august 2010, got pregnant with his baby the following month, then we started plaining our wedding, during this period, he was he makes big deal out of nothing and later apologize. That I even call off the wedding 3days to the wedding day, but he apologize again and I decided to let go and carry on with the wedding. After we got married I find out all he said he was (has) was was lie. He dosent believe I should contribute to anything thing before making decision on anything including our kids, finance. He believe his the man and that all has to be his decision, he use me as an entertainment by cracking jokes babout me to make our visitors laugh, we had sex on our wedding night and not until after 9months, his always not in the mood. When I saw thisn I decided to have another baby for him and get a divorce cos I don't want to have kids for diffent fathers. So I told him December 25 2011 knowing that am ovulating if he doesn't have sex with me I will go and throw his friend out of my house. Whith this, he did and that was the last time we had sex and we leave together as husband and wife. I use to raise the issue he make me feel like am begging him for sex. So I stoped and whenever we are having a discussion now he says; did your boyfriends ask you not to do this, did your boyfriends ask you not to do that" I just pretend I didn't hear what he said. Can't tell anyone about what am going through cause my best friend assually warned me with the way he was behaving before I got married to him. Now am tired of pretending to be married to him and want a divorce. Am I doing the right thing.
Ooh nothing I do is good or right to him from the begining of our relationship. His always putting me down and comparing me with other poeple that I don't no even his ex. Less I forgot I have caught him twice cheating which he didn't addmite to or denial. Pls help I need advice

[Leed]

Honey, I'm not sure I understand this post. From what I gather, he uses you to make jokes; He says HE'S the boss and that's that; he doesn't want to have sex with you; and he's cheated twice and won't admit to it. Is this right?

From the sounds of things, it sounds like you two do a lot of fighting!! And if you have children, that's no place to bring up kids! I grew up in a home where my parents were fighting all the time, and it had a terrible effect on me! Of course they were drunk too, and that didn't help.

Do you think that marriage counseling would help? Would you two agree to go? Counseling CAN help if both parties are willing to go. If you BOTH are willing, give it a try. If you are NOT willing, then I don't see much hope for the marriage at this point. You should at least give it a try, so you can say that you did all you could. I wish you the very best. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

[NWgirl2013]

I hope you have someone, a family member or friends here. Are you able to go back to your family?

[pointfive]

@leed, I choose to ignore and let go a lot so there won't be any fight. If you were to come pay us a week or month visit, you will never suspect anything bad going on with us. Friends that are yet to marry pray for a relationship like ours not knowing what is going on deep down. As for alcohol, we don't.

[pointfive]

@NWgirl2013. Yes I have families arround but can't go to them or tell them what is going on

[Leed]

Honey, if you're being constantly compared with others, whether you know them or not; and if nothing you do is ever right and he always puts you down for it; and if you've caught him cheating at LEAST two times in this short period, I'd say that you have big problems. And it sounds to me like he's definitely not trying to keep this marriage together.

I don't blame you for wanting a divorce. If you don't want to TRY to keep this marriage together, then file for divorce.

If you WANT to try to keep it together, then ask him to go with you to marriage counseling. Then you could say that at least you tried.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the very best. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[appletree34]

i am 26yrs pld. i got marrd wen i was 23yrs. mine s a luv marriage. but still in the beginning of my marriage lyf my husband use to say he doesn like me lets divorce. he adds that am not suitable to his house. later i found he is in relationship with other girl.i warne him for 3tyms and now he says he is not in relationship with that girl. i am confused whether to believe him r not. at time my in-laws create problems with me and do have quarrels. that stress frustation i show it to my hubby... pls help me out of this prob

[Leed]

Hi Appletree ~ Your husband is a cheater. How on earth are you supposed to trust him? A marriage without trust is nothing. Plus he says that you're not "suitable for his house." What kind of thing is THAT to say to your wife? That's HORRIBLE.

And besides that. your inlaws make trouble for you, as if you didn't have enough trouble. They need to stay OUT of your marriage!!!

You and your husband need to go to marriage counseling. Do you think your husband would go? If he WON'T go, I would file for divorce. What's the point of staying if he won't work on the marriage? He NEEDS to help fix this marriage, and by going to counseling, he can do that. So see if he'll go. Like I said, if he won't, then pack your bags or else throw HIM out!

I wish you the very best. God bless and please take care of YOU. Hugs, Lee