[divorceddad0705]

Ive been divorced for 2 1/2 years now and I share 50% custudy of my amazing kids.I have a 8year old boy & my daughter is 5. I have been dating somone now for 1 year and our relationship is GREAT. My kids do not have any idea that I am in a relationship but lately they have asked me , why I did not have a girlfriend. when I asked them how they would feel if I had a girlfriend they both said they thoght it would be great. That made me feel good. I really want to introduce my kids to my amazing girlfriend but im alittle scared because of the possibility that if it would not work out in the future I would have to put my kids through a separation again and that would be devastating for me and my kids. I keep an open mind about it because I love my girlfriend and don't want to loose her. Latelyshe has made a comment that she feels that the day of me introducing my kids to her will never come . She has allways been very understanding of why I haven't done so yet but I feel slowly but surely she might get tired of waiting. What advice might some of u have for me on what to do ?

[Travelinglady]

Hello and welcome! I think the answer does depend on how likely you think the relationship will work out. Evidently your girlfriend is wondering about that, too. Yes, you are right that it's not a good idea to introduce kids to a new date one after another.

It's been a year. I would think you would have a good idea by now about whether she is "the one." Are you hesistant to ask her about the "marriage" word?

Would she accept the idea that you are introducing your kids to a "girlfriend who MIGHT one day be their step-mother, but you are and she are giving it some time to see how things go"? Or more that she is a "girl" and a "friend"?

[shezbut]

divorceddad,

I can relate. It is hard to know when the right time is to introduce your kids, and there is that fear: what if things don't work out?

After about 1 year with my bf, I let my girls meet him. We kept time spent together for another year pretty brief and without much show of affection. We slowly built up from there. {We've been together for about 4 years now} My girls love my bf and enjoy his company very much, yet I still feel afraid to get any more serious and I still fear how they'd react if we were to go separate ways.

Personally, I take that as a signal that I'm really not ready for another deep commitment yet either. Yes, I do love my bf, but I am holding back a bit to protect myself. That's my perspective anyway.

[healingme4me]

Hmmm, I posted to this before, but it seems to not be here(?). If you are hesitant, for lack of concern for the longevity of the relationship, waiting until you are certain this woman is for the long haul can be beneficial to you and your children.