[boopei]

Why oh why do abusive women get away with stuff that if it were a man, they would NEVER, EVER get away with!

My partner just found out that after all the beatings she gave the kids, after all the abuse, she's just going to get a "talking to". It's a friggin sin. The kids are scared to go to their Mom's because they don't want to be spanked, they don't want the soap in their mouths for no reason, and with an investigation, they are just going to tell here, hey you shouldn't do that.. carry on.

If that were him that beat the kids, my god. He'd have lost custody, and have charges laid on him already I'm sure, it's so crazy.

I feel so bad for him. She abused and "re-broke" him 2 months ago by slapping him, a grown man. So, he does what he feels right, what he should do to step up and protect his kids, and she gets away with it. Just like she got away with bankruptcy fraud, and unemployment fraud, she gets away with it.

I just hope I can be supportive enough to keep him from falling apart, he feels so defeated right now. But, boy do I ever hope Karma takes care of her. Those poor kids, and him. Such emotional/mental pain caused by one woman

[Perna]

I'm sorry you are witnessing this, sounds like it pains you. Hopefully he can keep himself from falling apart and continue to work for his children's best interests. The children will complain at some point and then she won't "get away" with anything. Has he sued for custody? Even just getting a talking to is a mark on her record.

[boopei]

Originally Posted by Perna

I'm sorry you are witnessing this, sounds like it pains you. Hopefully he can keep himself from falling apart and continue to work for his children's best interests. The children will complain at some point and then she won't "get away" with anything. Has he sued for custody? Even just getting a talking to is a mark on her record.

I don't know about sueing, but he's already got primary custody, and she's pissed about it. He may get a mark on her record because she admitted in court previously to beating him, so he's going through with that via the authorities.

Basically now is covering the basis, to make sure she can't use the "he's just trying that to get at me by taking the kids away completely" line. Because that's not why he did it, he wants whats best for them, and a mother that abuses them isn't it.

Court is in November for Child support, so I hope to heaven's that ALL of this gets sorted out now. There's enough professionals that state that she's got issues, so karma has got to sort something out sometime soon, I hope. It's hard to see someone you love go through something so painfully and emotionally exhausting. :'(

[pinkbutterfly]

that's horrible...it should NOT go that way. Abuse is abuse. Period. And it's NEVER ok.

[boopei]

Originally Posted by pinkbutterfly

that's horrible...it should NOT go that way. Abuse is abuse. Period. And it's NEVER ok.

I completely agree with you. Found out part of the reason this part was dropped, is his ex threatened the kids to not say anything. So they didn't tell authorities what they told everyone else because they are terrified. She's done a number on all of them. I'd hate her, but don't want to give her the satisfaction, so I'll pity her instead. There may be hope yet. Phase 1 of 3 of home study visits are tomorrow, so the kids may or may not feel brave enough to spill the beans against mommy. But like a good Dad, my partner won't push them. He doesn't want them hurt, or put in the middle any more than they are.

[4D2Long]

Is this guy telling you these things? Or are you witnessing these things? Huge difference...if a guy starts talking about getting beat up, runnnnnn.....do not get in a relationship with a man whose mother or wife beat on him....he will never trust women again......I guess the same is true for women...no double there...

It really is sad that our early relationships shape our beliefs, but that is how the mind of most people work..this fact is why there needs to be tougher child abuse laws in place....kids are our future citizens that will shape our world...does anybody get that? Helllloooo...do people hear that?

Good luck in supporting someone who lives in a tragedy novel.....they are forever in one cort tussle after another...the courts hate these losers....and have little respect if any, because they know that either one can stop using the governments time and money with their nonsense and drivel.....seriously, tell this guy I said to get a life....take his troubles out of the courts hands..get some self respect....

[Anika.]

People who have been abused don't need love or to be in any relationship. They must be all identicle too, and no healing or change can happen for them.

Funny cause I had a father and a few other men who abused me, somehow I managed to heal and work on my own issues and become a healthy individual who has a good relationship with a man that I DO trust. I trust other men as well..they are not all abusers..obviously.

I am sure glad not everyone feels that way. Some people are willing to put aside their own judgement and get to know the person rather than just assume they know them based on something they went through.

I am sorry but that seems like a very judgemental view. Since I am a women who has been abused in my past... I feel like I should at least give some input on that. I think the person who was abused will decide who to trust rather than you telling them who they will or won't trust.

[boopei]

Originally Posted by 4D2Long

Is this guy telling you these things? Or are you witnessing these things? Huge difference...if a guy starts talking about getting beat up, runnnnnn.....do not get in a relationship with a man whose mother or wife beat on him....he will never trust women again......I guess the same is true for women...no double there...

It really is sad that our early relationships shape our beliefs, but that is how the mind of most people work..this fact is why there needs to be tougher child abuse laws in place....kids are our future citizens that will shape our world...does anybody get that? Helllloooo...do people hear that?

Good luck in supporting someone who lives in a tragedy novel.....they are forever in one cort tussle after another...the courts hate these losers....and have little respect if any, because they know that either one can stop using the governments time and money with their nonsense and drivel.....seriously, tell this guy I said to get a life....take his troubles out of the courts hands..get some self respect....

Thanks for your feedback on this thread, but I have to respectfully disagree.

I've been in a relationship with this wonderful man for almost 2 years now, and he's trusted me almost completely, with his kids, and with him.

He went through a rough patch when I first posted this, he's since sought counselling, which has worked wonders for him. I've learned a lot about patience plus, both of us have done a lot of personal self-help work, self-love. No relationship is textbook or fairy tale, and he's learned a lot about himself by going through the rough spells, and having people who support him (emotionally).

A lot of people are abused in a many different ways while growing up, some worse than others. Most people recover from whatever it was, and lead healthy, and happy adult lives. I'm thankful both myself, and my partner are part of that, healing/working on healthy behaviors portion of the population, and not the irreparably damaged portion of the population who apparently doesn't deserve love or happiness because they were victims of abuse.

[oldlife_disrupted]

Boopei, your compassion for this man is admirable.

Please do not feed the trolls LOL!

[boopei]

Originally Posted by 4D2Long

Is this guy telling you these things? Or are you witnessing these things? Huge difference...if a guy starts talking about getting beat up, runnnnnn.....do not get in a relationship with a man whose mother or wife beat on him....he will never trust women again......I guess the same is true for women...no double there...

It really is sad that our early relationships shape our beliefs, but that is how the mind of most people work..this fact is why there needs to be tougher child abuse laws in place....kids are our future citizens that will shape our world...does anybody get that? Helllloooo...do people hear that?

Good luck in supporting someone who lives in a tragedy novel.....they are forever in one cort tussle after another...the courts hate these losers....and have little respect if any, because they know that either one can stop using the governments time and money with their nonsense and drivel.....seriously, tell this guy I said to get a life....take his troubles out of the courts hands..get some self respect....

Originally Posted by oldlife_disrupted

Boopei, your compassion for this man is admirable.

Please do not feed the trolls LOL!

LOL! You know, sometimes I don't even think about the trolls. Guess I'm too trusting that people are being honest in an online setting HA!

[oldlife_disrupted]

[healingme4me]

Help for Abused Men: Escaping domestic violence by women or domestic partners

Help for Battered Men

Not sure, if it's a double standard, laws work both ways for men and women. Lots of men, however, tend to not want to speak out.