12 step program

So in my meeting today with my husband (we have been separated for 5 weeks for a variety of reasons one main being he's a sex addict and addicted to pornography) anyways he told me he is not attending a 12 step group because he went and they read out of the blue book and the steps book. He belongs to a freedom group but seems to think he is about SAA! I'm pretty floored. Not sure what makes him think his group is working when he has consistently lied to them for the last three years. At least in SAA there is real accountability and usually they can see through the bs that's occurring. And when I dared to say I thought that was strange I all of the sudden was controlling again. Gah!!!

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SAA is a good group and has helped many men and women overcome addiction to pornography and other issues. Unfortunately, people in early recovery tend to get a little anxous and testy during the beginning of recovery. SAA is also a 12 step program designed for sex addicts.

I would suggest reading all you can on the subject, so that you understand what your husband is going through. Patrick Carnes books are great. Also there is one called "Mending a Shattered heart" by Stefanie Carnes for spouses

If you have any questions, just PM me anytime. This will not be easy but it can be gotten through.

I've done a significant amount of learning since I first identified it as a problem 2 1/2 years ago. and so far the general consensus has been that a 12 step program is needed for full accountability. Especially since he's been lying to his other recovery group a good majority of the time. I did send him an email today asking what his current plan for recovery is and for his mental health going forward so that I can have that to consider.

Unfortunately I'm a fixer... and when I married him I didn't realize he would end up needing to be fixed... I thought I had broken my cycle... And my counselor strongly feels that I cannot be married to a project... And while I believe that their is freedom and healing in Christ for him I don't know that it's something that I can be a part of.