[newbie33]

ok so I just somewhat got out of a 7+ year relation ship with my fiancé! we been engaged for over a year and have a beautiful 8 month old daughter that means the world to me!
the past few months we been arguing little and little everytime to the point she actually left me. our arguments were nothing serious, abusive or anything just stupid silly arguments.
well shes officially been gone for over a month and we been separated for 2 months(living together for 1 month but slept in different rooms)
well since she left me I kept the apt and she moved back in with her parents. I am a complete mess! I hate working! I don't want to be around no one at all! my practically lost my bestfriend because I didn't want to be around her to allow to help me! just about every day I go home and I look around and I cry because its something we once called home! pictures and just memories everywhere! im just no longer myself!
I just need your help in how to cope with everything! I know im still so young (24) but she was my everything and I was hers. we were high school sweethearts and we loved everything. we still talk but nothing is promised!
idk what to do! I also became more sad because we were actually about to start planning the wedding .
please someone help. anyone. im too young for all this and I don't want to ruin my life .

[gayleggg]

Have the two of you considered couples counseling? Maybe you could figure out what went wrong. If she won't go with you I would still suggest you get counseling to help you through this painful time.

[Zulu13]

Originally Posted by newbie33

ok so I just somewhat got out of a 7+ year relation ship with my fiancé! we been engaged for over a year and have a beautiful 8 month old daughter that means the world to me!
the past few months we been arguing little and little everytime to the point she actually left me. our arguments were nothing serious, abusive or anything just stupid silly arguments.
well shes officially been gone for over a month and we been separated for 2 months(living together for 1 month but slept in different rooms)
well since she left me I kept the apt and she moved back in with her parents. I am a complete mess! I hate working! I don't want to be around no one at all! my practically lost my bestfriend because I didn't want to be around her to allow to help me! just about every day I go home and I look around and I cry because its something we once called home! pictures and just memories everywhere! im just no longer myself!
I just need your help in how to cope with everything! I know im still so young (24) but she was my everything and I was hers. we were high school sweethearts and we loved everything. we still talk but nothing is promised!
idk what to do! I also became more sad because we were actually about to start planning the wedding .
please someone help. anyone. im too young for all this and I don't want to ruin my life .

I'm sorry to hear about this. I can't believe she just bailed on you, and your child. I think she's probably really scared by the whole situation. It's a huge thing to commit to a family life, and sometimes the way people deal with it is to run away to try to get some time to think. I know only too well about hating work, and not wanting to be around anyone when you feel like this. All I can tell you is that you have to be strong for your child. My advice is to give your fiancee some space, so she can think about the situation. I know it's been a couple of months, but I'm guessing she still needs a little more time to get herself together. Try giving her another month before trying to make contact. It's really tough because you guys have a baby, but it may just be what she needs to come to her senses. Resist the urge to talk to her everyday, and if you need to, tell her you're giving her some time to think things through. She's the mother of your child, so there's probably a good chance she'll do what's right. Hang in there.

[Mike_J]

You asked for some advice so here it goes.

Get a therapist, and move find a new apartment that is yours, one that won't constantly remind you of her.

[Loveboat]

I feel your pain. I had a similar problem. My husband abandoned me over petty silly arguments, nothing serious. I was completely heartbroken. He was my first real love, the only guy I had ever fallen in love with. I was trying to contact him and he ignored me, never answered my calls nor most of my emails. Still hasn't filed for a divorce, left everything in limbo. However, now I realise that I don't want to be with a person that cannot hack a few petty arguments in life and he must have never really loved me if he is not willing to fight for the relationship, so I will let him go gladly now. They say once a person abandons, they are an abandoner! It is a form of passive aggression. You deserve better than her in life and so does your child!!

[healingme4me]

I'd work on gaining some court ordered visitation for yourself and your child. An offer for child support looks favorable and the right thing to do. Minimum here, is $50/month.
You have legal rights to see your child. Fight for them.

You can file the papers yourself. Fees are minimal. Judges don't bite if you show up pro se. Bring a notepad, write down what they say.

Sorry to hear she went running home to mom and dad.

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